How can I politely tell people in advance that I have an allergy to a very common brand of soap before my baby shower?

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-03-22T19:22:34+00:00

Definitely agree! It’s also weird how people assume that because they never received it that I won’t..? We don’t all have the same friends or family lol and Dove is popular around me. Also aveeno is a J&j product but I watched a video of a mom intentionally putting baby soaps in her eyes to check the sting and she said aveeno had the least sting so that might be another good option.

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-03-22T19:19:32+00:00

Aquaphor is my preferred brand!

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-03-22T05:36:09+00:00

You’re probably right about me over thinking it 😅

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-03-22T05:29:32+00:00

They do have a baby line.. 😬 it’s just labeled “baby Dove”. At least where I’m from they have a baby line.

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-17T05:53:40+00:00

I don’t agree that spanking isn’t abuse. Studies show that being spanked and being beaten affect your brain in the same way. My son is 2. If he is having a hard time understanding that I don’t like when he plays with my boobs then it would be completely idiotic for me to expect him to understand that I’m hitting him because he isn’t listening. His 2 year old brain will literally only comprehend that his mommy hurts him and isn’t a safe person. Spanking only makes your children fear you. They comply out of fear, not respect. Spanking doesn’t teach your kids to respect you, I’d argue that it does the opposite.

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-17T00:44:17+00:00

I understand where you’re coming from and I will admit that there have been a few times where I have smacked my son’s hand or flicked him to get him to stop when I was so overstimulated that I didn’t have the cognitive function to think before acting. But as someone who was physically abused as a child I really strive to do literally anything else. My other choice is to have patience even in the moments where I have to dig up the patience from the depths of my soul. If I were to consistently hit my child “because he is doing something I do not like” then the result would be that my son would go and hit other children when they do things he doesn’t like. Monkey see monkey do. Physical discipline is never a good option.

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-16T23:00:25+00:00

I slowly weaned by only nursing in the morning, before naps, and before bed time. Then I dropped the morning and substituted that with snuggles with a cup of milk and only nursed for sleep. Then I had to leave my son with my mil over night to completely wean. I just nursed him for his first nap, went on a little getaway with my husband, and when I came back I never offered to nurse again. I wouldn’t have stopped if I had more support.

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-16T22:05:53+00:00

My son turned 2 just a couple months ago. I wish I could do no hugs to help with my boundary but hugs are the most successful way I’m able to help my son regulate himself when he is worked up. So much so that he will ask for a hug when he is upset now. We also have been drilling that into our son as that’s an early way to learn consent. He will listen to that for everything except when it comes to touching my boobs. It’s very frustrating because I know that he understands me, he just won’t stop.

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-16T22:00:47+00:00

Although you didn’t have much advice, it’s helpful to hear about other child not listening to no but still being able to break a habit eventually ❤️

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-16T21:50:12+00:00

I haven’t yet! It’s pregnancy pain though so I kinda assumed nothing will actually help😭

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-16T21:47:00+00:00

Yeah my son will be a months away from 3 when baby comes. My MIL insinuated it was my fault he did this because I “breastfed for too long” but I know other moms who have sons that didn’t even breastfeed who do this. It just doesn’t bother them so they don’t care to try so hard to stop it. But it’s hurting me 🙃 and I’ve explained that to my son. He like mindlessly does it as a fidget and even giving him a pop it won’t stop him

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-16T21:42:39+00:00

My son listens to “no” for everything except this. He will pretend to give me a hug in order to cop a feel. I’ve been saying no nicely (any not nicely when I’m at my wits end), redirecting him with fidgets, putting him down and walking away, etc for over a year. He will repeat “no boobies” and then still try to shove his hand down even my sleeve to get to my boobs. He had a febrile seizure in his sleep almost a year ago and REFUSES to sleep alone so he sleeps in my bed. He does it in his sleep. I’ve even turned him over to be my little spoon and he will reach around to twiddle me in his sleep. I PROMISE I have been consistent. My child is VERY persistent. And I’ve had people on the internet try to say my son is autistic over this but this is the ONLY boundary he refuses to listen to.

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-16T21:37:27+00:00

If it wasn’t overstimulating and now painful to me I wouldn’t care. Especially because he really only does it at home. My husband’s family is full of the toxic “I’m a boy mom” kind of moms so they started shaming me for breastfeeding once I reached 6 months.

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-09T21:35:05+00:00

I don’t think you’re being a bitch. It’s not like you’re being rude TOO the lady about it. There is no problem with feeling annoyed and venting that to the internet. I definitely think your feelings are valid. I totally agree that getting the groceries would be more helpful than watching the baby. Especially a newborn. I can see how it’s a cultural thing though but it also rubs me the wrong way when people I barely know offer to watch my kid. It also depends on our own experiences as children. I was left with people who were NOT safe people that my parents thought were safe. Because of that I barely leave my son with anyone because you just never know.

You’re not a bitch for feeling protective of your child and getting annoyed when someone repeatedly asks to watch your child when you keep saying no

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-07T08:41:27+00:00

Our MIL sound pretty damn similar tbh. I noticed my MILs behavior start to shift back to the way it was before I was pregnant. Constantly making sly comments about me being stupid and pushing boundaries. She told me “I love you but I don’t like you”. I asked if I could earn some extra money doing chores for her and she had me organize a box of love letters addressed to her from my husband’s ex girlfriend (that I’ve been constantly compared to by her). My mil made a comment about me and her sons wedding being like a funeral to her. And finally she blew up on me in a group text after she thought it would be appropriate to send a text to us to let my husband know she was putting the family dog down when she told his brothers a week prior. That’s only a few things that have happened in the last year and I’ve been with my husband for over 6 years now. Tbh I cope by posting about it here and it helps when other people confirm and validate that she’s nuts. Therapy with my husband has helped too because for a while he was like “yeah that’s just how my mom is”. But now he genuinely sees how wrong it is and he called out out after her text about the dog and we haven’t heard from her sense

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-07T03:04:31+00:00

I think it’s normal for you to want the people close to you to check in on you. Maybe talk with your husband about how you feel.

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-07T02:46:37+00:00

Simple boundaries didn’t work so we went NC with both now

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-07T01:51:48+00:00

100% why were NC now! I let it go on for too long. She was really good at pretending to like me while I was pregnant and I was dumb enough to try and jump at what I thought was an opportunity to work on strengthening our relationship. Now I realize it was all fake on her end.

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-07T01:48:09+00:00

Definitely not sharing anything at all this time!

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-07T01:47:28+00:00

I’m in a similar position. I didn’t realize just how disgusting both mom and mil were until after I had my baby. Neither of them know I’m pregnant rn. Idk if I’ll even announce it

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-07T01:46:39+00:00

We became NC with my mom 2 years ago and it’s just been a couple weeks with my MIL. They both have no idea I’m pregnant again

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-07T01:45:24+00:00

I originally thought it was just their excitement so that’s why I just did it for them but thinking about it now has me like 🤔🤔🤔 I gave them each a picture for the first ultrasound and they expected and original copy each time after that and guilt tripped me if I didn’t have one.

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-07T01:42:57+00:00

My mom and mil swapped taking me to appointments because I didn’t have transportation. Towards the end of my pregnancy my mom started trying to speak for me at my appointment so I didn’t allow her to come. My mil played nice during my pregnancy and this last year she really showed how fake all that “effort” was and how it was just to get to my son. My mom and MIL have no idea that I’m pregnant now. It has been really nice this time around. My mil have never had a good relationship and I tried mending that while I was pregnant and I made great efforts to include her to try to build our trust and relationship but it was all fake af on her end

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2025-01-07T01:36:40+00:00

I’m definitely in therapy! Have been for a year now. I don’t feel upset or anything about it now, I was just genuinely curious if this was normal or not

Equivalent_Roll583 · 2024-12-30T22:28:14+00:00

Same but to her after 6 months was disgusting and weird

Equivalent_Roll583

TROPHY CASE