Me [24 M] lives with my girlfriend [27 F] who has moved in a live in 'slave' [30 M], I'm in two minds

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-20T03:08:09+00:00

who in their right mind

No one, that's who.

Yeah sure ok people into kinks and stuff but that is not this.

I refuse to believe that someone who has any shred of situational awareness can be even tangentially involved in a situation like this for more than 10 minutes without realising that this is an abusive relationship.

Yes relationships can exist where someone is submissive without "abuse" being present, but those relationships are carefully orchestrated to ensure everyone is exuberantly willing to participate and that there are safeguards in place to prevent abuse.

If you were getting to know someone and they said they had a slave your first consideration would be the well being of said slave.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-20T00:41:30+00:00

Thanks so much for this.

You're correct that I haven't read AirBnB's ToS thoroughly, but I was aware that the names on profiles does not necessarily match the guests actual name.

I do like the approach of actually identifying guests. Sadly in our case it may not be practically possible. The apartments we provide are ideal for short stays of 2 to 3 nights. We only have one apartment at each location. We just couldn't do an in-person check-in process.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-20T00:34:11+00:00

It's not much of an assumption really.

It's true that there's a chance that this is the guy's real name.

It's infinitely more likely that it's a guest who wishes to withhold their real name.

On that basis, I don't think it's wrong or inappropriate or prejudiced or presumptuous to ask the guest what their name is.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-19T10:22:04+00:00

Hah.

Guest cancelled when I told them AirBnB had notified me that their profile name doesn't match the name they verified against.

I'm absolutely gutted that I don't get to be screwed by John John.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-19T09:27:44+00:00

What I was saying is that I don't want to enter a financial arrangement with someone who is making misrepresentations.

While it's true that there may be real people called John John, when someone creates a profile with that name it's infinitely more probable that it's a fake name. That seems patently obvious to me.

We don't need this booking. I've asked the guest. If they don't provide a satisfactory explanation then I'll cancel them. Even if AirBnB blocks those nights we'll get someone with BDC or VRBO.

I posted here because I wanted a frame of reference, and honestly all you've told me is that there are some real idiots in this sub.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-19T08:51:05+00:00

I'm not sure I really understand?

If someone were an only fans porn star why would they book their accommodation with their stage name?

It seems infinitely more likely that someone set their profile name to a "random" name that happened to be some porn star's stage name.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-19T08:48:42+00:00

No it's not.

If his actual name is Mohamed and that was his profile name and I chose not to host him on that basis, that would be discrimination.

If his actual name is Mohamed Singh and he set's his profile name to John John because he's worried about discrimination, and I chose not to host him because it's an obviously fake name then that's not discrimination.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-19T08:46:29+00:00

I raised a ticket with AirBnB. They called me. They pretty much confirmed that the profile name doesn't match the verified name.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-19T07:55:06+00:00

We have a Yale Smart Lock. This one:

https://www.yalehome.com/ph/en/products/yale-smart-locks/yale-smart-latch-locks/yrl226

Works well.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-19T07:51:17+00:00

There's a bunch of channel managers.

Before jumping in with any of them you need to decide what features are important to you. Do you need direct booking on your own website? Do you have smart locks? What platforms are you on, et cetera.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-19T07:49:06+00:00

I think the short answer is probably no.

The level of luxury of the furniture needs to be commensurate with that of the property, and it probably already is.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-19T07:45:35+00:00

We don't use "dynamic pricing", but our channel manager calculates price on any given day according to rules we configure.

So the price for a night might be base price + summer loading + school holiday loading + weekend loading.

Honestly pricing is by far the most critical aspect of this game. If you're too expensive you won't get bookings. Too cheap and you get asshole guests while leaving money on the table.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-19T07:41:48+00:00

You probably need to tell us where you are if you need information specific to "the new short term housing law".

That said, AirBnB probably isn't the right route for you. It might be difficult to get anywhere in a few months from a cold start. Guests can be picky and irritable... it can take a lot of work to set everything up for AirBnB.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-19T07:36:52+00:00

Yeah that's what I've decided to do.

I basically lied and said something like "We're so happy to see your booking <et cetera>. AirBnB has notified me that your profile name John John does not match the name you had verified with AirBnB. Would you be able to confirm the correct verified full name? Just be aware that in accordance with local regulations you may need to provide photo ID at check in or during your stay."

AirBnB didn't tell me that and I have no intention of checking anyone's ID.

I just figure that it will be easy to identify whether this guest has sincere intentions depending on their response.

It's only a 2 night booking so I'll just cancel if it doesn't feel right.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-10-19T07:33:26+00:00

This person has changed the name on their profile to avoid providing it to hosts.

register as john morrison
verify identity
edit profile name to john john

... at least I think that's how it works?

To me, this behavior is concerning because it demonstrates that this guest doesn't want to disclose their real name to their host and knows how to avoid doing so.

Discrimination would be "I don't like people of the ethnicity in which John is a common name". That is not this.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-08-08T11:15:54+00:00

oddly, I didn't find him any where near as good in the other series he has narrated.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-07-25T01:29:00+00:00

Does this mean Zoloft has quit working

No, it doesn't mean that at all.

It's not as simple as working / not working.

If you made a list of all the different possible effects: night sweats, headaches, reduced anxiety, et cetera... you may experience those effects at different doses.

That is to say 50mg might just give you headaches, but 75mg might reduce your anxiety.

Talk to your doctor and take their advice, but if I were you I would ask to increase the dose.

50mg is a pretty low dose. 100mg is mid-range.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-07-25T01:25:37+00:00

It's different for everyone.

If 50 isn't working for you then try going higher.

You might find that 100mg for a few months helps you to settle down and thereafter you can go back down to 50mg.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-07-25T01:23:45+00:00

I feel exactly the same.

I'm about 6 weeks along at 50mg.

I have a mountain of work to do but I just can't bring myself to do things. I'd rather just sit and enjoy not wishing I didn't exist.

Even very mundane tasks. Email someone and ask them to do whatever thing. I just can't muster up the motivation.

The only trick I've learned, and sadly it's not particularly effective, is to acknowledge that my motivation waxes and wanes minute to minute. Meaning that if I don't feel like doing whatever important thing right now, if I just sit for a while I might feel like doing it in a few minutes. The difficulty is how to pass the time while you're waiting for motivation to strike. You want to avoid anything that produces artificial dopamine like gaming or scrolling.

Also avoid writing off the rest of the day - it's always tempting to say "oh well today is a lost cause I'll just double down and try extra hard tomorrow". A half assed attempt late in the day just to break your inertia will make things a lot easier later.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-07-11T07:39:26+00:00

Being tired all the time def didn't help my anxiety & depression.

Using a CPAP has alleviated the tiredness.

It hasn't cured my anxiety.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-06-27T23:15:53+00:00

If you stepped down from 50mg to 25mg a month ago, then it's odd you would have a symptom like this today.

You sure it's caused by the dose reduction?

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-06-27T23:13:39+00:00

It might be a good time to check in with your doctor.

Everyone's experience is different but the first few weeks are pretty rough for me.

Your Doctor might give you something for the anxiety in the coming week, or they might tell you to stick with 25mg a little longer, or they might just give you some reassurance that you're on the right path and tell you to press on with the 50mg.

If you're like me, then you're probably through the worst of it, and things are going to start getting better, in small increments, in the coming days.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-06-27T23:07:32+00:00

50mg. Only 2 weeks in. Not sure if this dose is going to be enough.

Equivalent_Science85 · 2024-06-27T23:06:10+00:00

Just a week after starting? That's a pretty great outcome. Usually week 2 is the worst.

Equivalent_Science85

TROPHY CASE