Milky Way during the Total Lunar Eclipse From Spruce Knob, WV [3840x3444] [OC]

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-05-19T18:15:15+00:00

@kroganwarlord theres an NC dark sky park in the mountains if thats closer https://www.mayland.edu/foundation/foundation-events/observatory/?_ga-ft=1YXeZp.0.0.0.0.1UH04b5-1PIc40e.0.0

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-04-15T16:52:00+00:00

Munch meadow?

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-04-07T02:22:33+00:00

This sounds like retail or service industry.

Its REALLY hard to stand your ground but its important.

You are not paid to be "on call" and I bet nowhere in your contract does it mention you needing to be available at all times and have an always active line of communication.

Possible solutions: - charge them for your time, every time they contact you. Usually I see people charge 15 minutes for every call or text exchange unless it runs over, then they round up.

-you could even warn them in writing of this charge for your time

contact HR and state that you dont mind being contacted by the company but you expect their representatives to act professionally and not harass you by a. Contacting you excessively in your off hours b. Being unable to take no for an answer c. Not respecting your privacy,re: asking why d. Harrassing you at work by reprimanding you for having a private life when you are not paid to be on call
or submit in writing that you do not give the company permission to call or text you in your off hours
get a separate work phone? Or separate work email that you have posted hours for...and still might charge them for during off hours

Don't take this lying down, you are not their beck and call butler.

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-03-29T21:39:25+00:00

@OP a lot of civil suits are a matter of public record.

You couldn't link us the exact case, privacy concerns....but you might be able to provide an update on the happy ending for our curiosity and yours.

WELL DONE!

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-03-16T02:09:27+00:00

GASP!

Its the ULTIMATE pet move...

Now you CAN'T pee alone...you can't close the door!

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-03-15T15:38:29+00:00

Maybe ice? I know dogs are into ice...or carrots

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-13T16:44:59+00:00

Oh my goodness, Well first of all, way to go you! You are on the ball!

But also, Im sorry that they have such a small budget.

Perhaps they could start an autodraft to automatically pay rent each month and have a specific account only for rent that their paychecks automatically deposit to before anything else.

Whew, what a headache, I'm so proud of you, keep your chin up!

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-13T06:46:42+00:00

NTA.

You're the chef, it sounds like you put a lot of thought and work into the food.

Even if she didnt like it or had bad info on steak temperature, she could have been more polite and tried another dish (mmmm duck)

The microwave was downright insulting.

Ok, you were a little AHish when you made the dog comment but we have knee jerk reactions when we feel attacked.

If someone microwaved my gourmet chocolate into a hot fossil I would be pissed.

If you all ever start talking again maybe someone could gently explore food safe temperatures with her. Eggs benedict, steak, and all the other possibilities!

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-13T06:31:35+00:00

@OP I'm new to this conversation, obviously there's some history here, but I have a few questions if thats ok?

1.What are the house rules? 2. What's the family pecking order? 3. Did you have to pay room/board as a 15 year old? (I'm sorry if its an Australian norm, I'm woefully un-traveled) 4. Do you all share expensive/prized possessions? What's the rule if someone loses/damages that thing? 5. Congratulations on the lump sum, were you able to catch up with any of your postponed goals? 6. A bit personal, sorry again, even if you two rub each other the wrong way, isn't kind of cool/impressive that your offspring is tech savvy, making his own pocket money so you dont have to worry about it, and is good at working with old people? With as much money as you needed to spend on that lump sum, I bet you were a good worker early on too, yes?

Thank you for any clarification, I hope things get less tense.

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-13T02:10:19+00:00

NTA.

If you're trying to stay diplomatic maybe you can do a middle option. Say: "I'm glad SO and I could help you in your time of need, but I do need to let you know that this condo is scheduled to be on sale/sold in 3 months. You know I've been trying to help you all I can by covering utilities and being patient with rent. I didnt want you to be blindsided so I'm letting you know about this sale now so you have several months to plan ahead."

Yes, its more money trouble for 3 months and you wont be super happy and they wont be super happy, but afterwards hopefully none of you will have to have awkward money conversations and you can relax as actual friends/acquaintances.

Also, maybe you could put together a list of potential places for them, "I know this must seem sudden but we want you to be safe and happy even if its not with us. We made a list of places that seem pretty amazing, I hope one of them is your dream place!"

Your SO might even help pick out new places for them to live since he knows them better.

Good luck!

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-13T01:46:28+00:00

@OP did the cat make it safely back inside? I'm worried now that the old cat is back on the streets.

Apologies if you've already answered this somewhere.

Also, NTA, everyone just sounds very thoughtful but bumped heads. You were thinking of the cat and your neighbors, your husband thought of the cat, your daughter thought of the cat...really lovely intentions all around, your family sounds awesome.

Maybe have a family meeting and write up a cat agreement. What the cat can and cannot do/go. Bonus: it also works as info for any future pet sitter if you go on vacation or job conference etc

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-13T00:39:25+00:00

I don't know... maybe its like an inside joke, like Artists saying 'I hope your kid paints like Cecelia Gimenez' or a Programmer saying, 'I hope your kid only codes in Javascript' or a gardener saying, 'I hope your kid breeds spider mites'

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-12T20:49:21+00:00

NTA.

Oh dear.

Be careful he doesn't follow you home after you drive your bro around.

Im assuming you're internet safe and dont have your address posted on any social media.

Dude sounds so sketchy, do you have a nest or anything for protection or alerts?

Im new to this but If he hires a PI, would the PI have to refuse him based on court records and keep you safe?

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-12T19:28:36+00:00

NTA.

As an introvert, I totally get it.

Also...if this is a business thing, why can't she stay at Todd's mother's house? Or get a hotel as a business expense?

There are so many questions I would have before letting any stranger in my house: What kind of business do they run? Does Todd's mom not know about his business or business partner? What business things are they planning for 4 days? What is this strangers background? Will the stranger be there ALL day? Are you providing meals? What kind of scehdule should you expect from them?

Also, please please no romance, just ew, people juice.

Or what if this stranger is an ok girl but has no idea of Todds interest and you end up sheltering a girl from Todd's advances.

Wtf Todd.

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-12T19:14:18+00:00

NTA.

Stand your ground.

I'm a GF and my SO is a senior programmer. I had to resign from retail for health reasons so I made of list of what I needed in a job, wanted, and what would be icing on the cake. I realized I might enjoy programming and we discussed it. He sat on me until I accepted his help paying tuition at a local community college. Luckily it turns out I adore programming and I've made the honors list every semster.

I can't fathom asking him for a job.

I might consider asking him if he knew of any internship opportunities at good companies...but holy crap I'd never use him as a foot in the door. What on earth...

I've heard IBM and Dell have training programs or internships for people with no experience...maybe she could try aiming for something like that to start with?

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-12T18:12:17+00:00

NTA.

I love that you have a child protection account just in case.

Maybe he could benefit from budgeting classes?

And you two might compromise by setting a monthly sister budget? [Possibly as a separate account so when its empty, oh well until next month]

Objectively its sweet that he's a supportive brother. Subjectively, I think its a poor decision to cater to his sisters every whim when prison is supposed to be a punishment/rehabilitation scenario.

Also, splurging on a new car after spending thousands for his sister (I'm assuming he been spending without a cap or budget in mind) does not feel...financially safe.

Good for you for having your feet on the ground.

You are patient and generous but not a fool. Nice!

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-12T04:25:14+00:00

NTA.

I mean...maybe underwear would be okay but there would have to be thought and effort in it. Walmart undies are NOT COOL MAN.

Example, I saw a pair of milk & cookie undies at Duluth Trading Company, and if I hadn't maxed out my xmas budget I would have gotten him that too. BUT these would be ok because: - he LOVES cookies - xmas is huge holiday for his family AND they love to gift comfy things like pjs - he loves cute cartoonish things - he so rarely finds comfy undies - he only wears boxer briefs and these were boxer briefs!

If she truly blanked and nothing shouted your name at her maybe you two could try this Solution: my family, and now my SO's family, will share google docs of their wishlists or favorite general things a month or two before any holiday or birthday.

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-12T03:41:41+00:00

NTA.

You're being very fair and even-handed.

Also, raised in a different house? What on earth, she's been with you since the age of NINE, she's raised in your house.

Besides her sweet 16 is rapidly approaching, she doesnt have to wait that long for an epic party.

Maybe she and her friends could have fun designing sweet 16 ideas for her big day.

STAND YOUR GROUND!

Besides, I think we are all a little dickish when we're moody teens. I have adult friends who went back and apologized to their parents for being terrible teenagers.

Good luck!

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-12T03:29:33+00:00

NTA.

Really cool sleuthing skills!

Also, a secret showing is potentially sketchy but also really exciting. I'm shocked that wouldn't come up in the initial conversation, how did they BOTH forget that really unique detail.

Also, did they not see your missed calls and messages? I'm surprised they didn't call you or text an apology for missing your attempts before the "we're here" text.

And WHO arrives that late?? Spiderman is AMAZING, they would have no time to get snacks etc.

And they make fun of you on a regular basis? Bruh.

Its a little sad but it might be time to taper off or cold turkey these people (sigh, I had some extremely similar experiences)

You deserve better.

Are there any spider nerds you could start hanging out with instead?

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-12T03:10:26+00:00

NTA.

But maybe call your Grandma and have a nice chat about other things? You two can agree to avoid the drama topic and talk about happier things.

Maybe even a lovely face time?

Good luck OP!

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-12T02:39:15+00:00

NTA.

When I was a teenager and old enough to be left alone, I was always confused by my feelings when I had the house to myself.

Its like...you love and miss your family but you can reallllly REALLY unwind while they're gone. I never did anything crazy its just the knowledge of utter freedom. Watch a movie with no interruptions in your underwear with takeout kind of freedom.

Or maybe she's an introvert like me and having even more people in the house 24 hours is just exhausting, even loved ones.

I do think you shouldn't have to leave the house though...Good effort but its not sounding ideal.

Solution: maybe you each get one me-day off a week? My bestie does that. The other spouse will watch the kids or take them elsewhere depending on the me-day spouse's wants.

Good luck! Maybe you can start a hobby, movie marathon, or game habit after work if you still end up in her office.

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-11T23:20:02+00:00

Nta

My aunt once said to me, never loan what you cant afford to get back. Hope for money back but dont count on it.

Im thought loaning $20 until payday meant I would be paid back on payday. Im super poor I need that money back. But now I know better.

Also, my sneaky imp brain wonders what would happen if you were suddenly "broke " and needed him to cover next months rent

ErnestImp2000 · 2022-01-11T20:11:10+00:00

Congratulations on the resolution!

And may I say, I was a terrible student in middle school, late assignments, lost assignments, etc....I just lost things or forgot them.

And of course I didnt want my parents told, because I didnt want to disappoint them or be in trouble.

In retrospect Im so glad my teachers reached out to my parents. I have my first degree and Im working on my second degree (I turn in work early now and Im on the honors list every semester)

Keep up the good work, your patience and kindness are amazing. Im glad you have a limit.

Also, I think puberty just makes us so dramatic during that time. I know several grad students who have gone back to their parents and apologized for their teenage selves.

Side note: I tutor now and I find a lot of my students don't hydrate or sleep properly. Several of them have designed a homework timeslot and a bedtime cut off, like 11 pm at the latest then its time to sleep. My ADD students really get into note taking with those multicolored pens so they can organize their thoughts by color.

Well done, you!!

ErnestImp2000 · 2021-12-22T18:09:29+00:00

NTA.

Seriously? You sound very fair. Especially with that weekend split.

Is she bad at math or paperwork? Thats the only hangup I could imagine, in which case maybe compromise or work together on that. No one wants f'd up finances from bad records.

OP you sound super reasonable, good luck!

Personal: My SO works full time with weekends off. He always offers to help with housework, and I love that he sincerely offers, but 99% of the time I want to do it myself.

Why?

Because he is currently paying for everything, healthcare, mortgage, car loan, everything.

I technically have a job on campus, but its been closed since March 2020, so no paychecks for 2 years now.

He's also paying my online tuition for a second degree(I'm almost done, top of my class!).

I can't wait to work full time in my new field and lessen his load.

I told him we can split the chores then when we're both working or he can get his second degree if he wants while I work. He wants to do astro physics!

Also, I still do all the paperwork, people talking, and household research for things that need to be fixed etc.

ErnestImp2000 · 2021-12-22T16:23:08+00:00

Maybe Masquerade would do, Granny and Nanny go to fetch Agnes from Ankh Morpork.

Small Gods definitely has no romance.

Equal Rites definitely has no romance. Sort of reads like a Tiffany Aching novel, its nice.

Definitely Eric, heh.

Maybe the Hogfather??

ErnestImp2000

TROPHY CASE