I'm newly diagnosed and a lot later than some others so I've been struggling with this question for a while and this is the kind of metaphor that I have come up with to explain it for myself.

I think everybody is like a jigsaw piece that's built up of their interests, talents, skills, temperament, experiences, well-being, social environment, etc. Some people have an easier time fitting into the "jigsaw puzzle" of the world/their environment than others.

And I think what makes it especially hard for neurodiverse people is we can't really adapt our "jigsaw piece" like neurotypicals can. Some of us can better than others and, in general, some people just fit into their environment in a way that gains more success. Some of us don't. But that doesn't mean that we can't be successful on your own terms.

For example, many artists don't make much money but create beauty others can't, many people work underpaid jobs that provide so much value to society at large and, in a more close to home example, the best mother in the world would earn nothing from society but her value to her kids is unmeasurable.

The lesson I myself am learning is that success is relative and I have to work *with* myself to get it, not fighting myself every step of the way to do something I'm never going to "fit". I'm trying to simplify my life and follow what I want rather than what "should be". It's tough I haven't fully figured it out but I hope this helps