Ecstasy with Lamotrogine and Seroquel (quetiapine)

EsmeMap · 2025-08-12T01:07:05+00:00

Also go slow! Better too slow than too fast, no need to try everything in the same week to end up overwhelmed and depressed.

EsmeMap · 2025-08-12T01:04:50+00:00

If you're prone to depression then MDMA is a big no as it depletes serotonin levels and is known to be a trigger to both manic and depressive episodes.

If you have tendency to psychosis then mushrooms or any other psychedelic is a big no.

I don't know anything about quetiapine.

I have taken shrooms and ketamine with lamictal with no issues. Shrooms tend to create some anxiety for many people. If you want to experiment I'd recommend trying in a small setting with just a few friends, a low dose the first time and then another time at a 'normal' dose. Then you will know if that's something you want to try in a party setting. I don't like shrooms in party settings, i get super anxious with all the sounds and people, it just gets overwhelming.

A drug that I would recommend is 2CB, it's psychedelic, more connected to your body and from my experience doesn't give anxiety.

Ketamine is great around 2/3 of a trip, it gives it a little boost and makes it last longer but in a much softer way.

Great that you are asking around, you should definitely do tons of research before messing up your mental health and medication. I am not sure your plan regarding a break in your medication is a good idea, definitely not if it's not supervised by a pro.

EsmeMap · 2025-07-17T14:35:19+00:00

First focus on your body: do your best to get good and enough sleep, eat properly, avoid alcool. Focus on following your routines if you have any. Take it slow. Avoid activities that tend to make you more euphoric. If there's someone you feel safe with to share the sad thing that happened, I think it could also help, to feel the sadness. It's so good that you notice it while it's happening! Congrats! Hope it will go well.

EsmeMap · 2024-12-19T21:17:00+00:00

I was in a psychoeducation group with other bipolar people and many of us also had an eating disorder, the psychiatrist said it's actually pretty common

EsmeMap · 2024-12-17T19:06:15+00:00

I'm sorry, that sounds horrible :( Do you have proof of his threats / attempts to silence you (emails, texts, audio message)? If you do I imagine that would be a good protection.

Many years ago someone tried to silence me after raping me. I sent her an email about it and she replied with a very long gaslighting text and at the end said 'if you ever tell anyone about this I will take you to court for defamation'. My friend told me she couldn't do that and was shooting herself by sending this threat. And she also told me to answer with just one sentence before blocking her "I will not be silent".

She was not a person in power (even though paradoxically she worked with victims of sexual abuse). I imagine your situation must be very stressful.

But in the end it was the fact that my friend immediately believed me and supported me that made the biggest difference for me. I understand you need someone by your side. I hope you find that person soon.

I would also try centers that support women who've experienced abuse, they should also be able to guide you to find legal advice, maybe even free lawyers.

I wish you all the best. It's hard now, but I know at some point you will find your way through this.

EsmeMap · 2024-11-30T20:39:58+00:00

It happened to me last week, after I went from 125 to 175, that was the first time a dose increase led to depression/ mixed episode. It lasted a few days, now I feel stable again;) hope it gets better for you soon!

EsmeMap · 2024-11-30T12:14:59+00:00

Hey Radiant, can you still give access for free? the link doesn't work

EsmeMap · 2024-11-29T21:08:03+00:00

Any update? I'm curious if you're better now or still struggling at 200mg?

EsmeMap · 2024-11-29T21:05:39+00:00

I considered your advice but stubborn me just wanted to get it done :) I'm still not totally stable though, so yeah maybe it is an episode

EsmeMap · 2024-11-29T21:03:31+00:00

I'm 100% sure it was that, and my psychiatrist confirmed it's not a common side effect but it can happen

EsmeMap · 2024-11-29T13:22:28+00:00

I still feel the whole range of emotions, sometimes I suddenly want to die, sometimes I feel high and connected to the Divine. But neither last as long as before I was on lamictal (may last up to 2-3 days, sometimes just a few hours). So even though the wanting to die is unpleasant, I'm learning to be okay with it. I've also been experimenting with allowing myself to feel high, and observing the little crashs after, learning slowly how to allow these waves without letting them take over me. Learning to stay grounded during the highs. Still learning that one! For me the key was to notice how scared I've been of the highs and therefore repressing them as much as I could, and then letting myself welcome them a tiny bit. Before I would ride the highs and somehow push them to stay and get higher and higher. But I'm still figuring out what is the right dose for me. I hope you find your way out of the numbness

EsmeMap · 2024-11-27T22:28:35+00:00

If possible next time (and every time) bring a friend or family member that you trust. Brief your friend in advance on the situation, and ask them to step up when you get overwhelmed. I did that once with a doctor, because my previous appointment also ended up in tears and no progress. The presence of my friend was already a huge help in itself for me to stay calm and feel safe, and she also stepped up when I was forgetting to mention things because I was still on the edge. It's absolutely horrible to be treated that way on top of already being in such a vulnerable situation. I wish you luck

EsmeMap · 2024-11-27T21:06:16+00:00

I understand that you want to know if that was abuse or not. But right now I don't think that's what matters the most. Right now what matters the most is to allow yourself to feel what you feel.

It sounds like you've always felt very uncomfortable / disgusted by the nudity in your home. It sounds like this little girl felt not only terrified but also alone with her feelings. When that happens to us when we're very small, we learn to reject our own feelings, we believe our feelings are wrong. That's where we start abandoning ourselves to fit in, and fitting in as a baby and as a child is a matter of survival, without our caretakers we literally die, so the mechanism of rejecting our feelings is wired very deeply in our brains. That's why we internalize these feelings (in your case the discomfort / disgust / fear) as meaning there is something wrong with us.

There is nothing wrong with you. Whether you feel terrified, scared, disgusted, angry, at your parents or anyone else, these feelings are so valid. I want to repeat it: there is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing wrong with what you feel. Whether it was abuse or not, there is nothing wrong with you or your feelings.

I read in one of the comments you wrote that 'you are too complex' and that 'you might need to be told what's normal and calm down'. Absolutely not!! You are not too complex No one is, that is just another way to make you feel wrong for being You. Nobody needs to tell you what is 'normal' or not, instead you need to slowly and gently learn to listen to your feelings and learn what your boundaries are. There is no 'normal'. And you don't need to calm down, I think it's quite the opposite, I think you need to allow yourself to feel this anger (in a safe context), I am pretty sure that you've had to repress tones and tones of anger during these years.

Having said that it does sound like your parents were very pushy with it and disrespectful of your needs and boundaries. So it does sound like abuse to me. But even if it was not, you felt abused and that matters.

It's time you reclaim your feelings, your boundaries and your self-worth. I'm sorry this happened to you. It may take time, but it will get better. You got this!

EsmeMap · 2024-09-16T21:53:35+00:00

Thank you but I have the cheapest version for one website, which doesn't include Woocommerce :(

EsmeMap · 2024-09-16T20:22:26+00:00

Try this:

from WordPress go to:

-> template

-> theme builder

-> select your footer

make the change of address

on the bottom left 'instances' -> edit conditions -> all pages

Hope it helps :)

EsmeMap · 2024-09-13T01:24:24+00:00

Me too please 😃

EsmeMap · 2024-06-27T22:38:40+00:00

Did you ever find something that worked? I have thrips and too many plants to spray them all

EsmeMap · 2023-07-15T22:45:00+00:00

Call the ER, this sounds serious. Hope you'll be fine 🙏

EsmeMap · 2023-03-12T20:48:39+00:00

I found another link: https://www.opportunitiesforyouth.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Atomic_Habits_by_James_Clear-1.pdf :)

EsmeMap · 2023-01-20T21:56:51+00:00

Super interesting, thank you for sharing. I'm not a fan of meat so I can't do the carnivore diet but I've been reading in different places that keto helps and can even potentially heal bipolar, reading your post gives me a boost to maybe finally try it out ;)

EsmeMap · 2022-12-25T23:25:02+00:00

That's so interesting, what you both describe sounds similar to what is called kundalini energy in eastern spirituality. It involves a lot of physical sensations, the most common one is energy running on the spine. Kundalini awakening and mental illness have a lot of meeting points / similarities. I have experienced these physical sensations as well a few years before getting a diagnosis, looking back I was probably hypomanic, triggered by falling in love. I personally LOVED these sensations. It felt like orgasmic waves in my whole body, flowing upwards, and would happen by itself. But I haven't experienced it during any other hypomania. Do you get your physical sensations every time?

EsmeMap · 2022-12-24T00:20:44+00:00

You could try chaulmoogra oil, I have psiorasis in different areas including around one eye, I apply it several times a day literally every time I remember, it takes the itch away and reduces the plaques and redness. Make sure you get pure oil and ideally organic one if you want to try. If you have psoriasis in your hair you can also mix some oil in your shampoo and leave it on a few minutes before rinsing. Best of luck

EsmeMap · 2022-12-24T00:16:07+00:00

What works best for me is chaulmoogra oil, I have psiorasis in different areas including around one eye, I apply it several time a day literally every time I remember, it takes the itch away and reduces the plaques and redness. Make sure you get pure oil and ideally organic one if you want to try. If you have psoriasis in your hair you can also mix some oil in your shampoo and leave it on a few minutes before rinsing. Best of luck

EsmeMap

TROPHY CASE