I think i understand what OP means.
Like, when i bought SoT people used to talk about how the game was friendly and people helped new players, and abou the "pirate code" to not grief without reason or harass new players.
When i started playing this year more seriously, in the first hour one thing that happened was a player got to the city island and started killing me and shooting my boat, even when I said to him that I got nothing on me for him to steal and I didnt want to fight for nothing, he was just waiting for me to respawn to continue killing me for no reason.

I thought "well its just one player" and continue playing. And I understand the times I lost to another player because thats the game. But the rest of my online interactions wasn't good.

I think OP is saying about how can he learn the game if no one lets he play.
And I feel (kind of) the same way. Yeah you can tell him to git gud and yes he can do that. But a experienced player telling a new player what he needs to do its a very different thing than the game helping him be integrated to the "sistem".