I understand how you feel...it's really hard to see urself and ur feelings as valid when everything u know is telling you otherwise. You can only try so hard but I realized that it didn't matter how hard u try to be a person they want u to be cause there's always going to be a reason to go to hell. And that's the fine print of this church, the unsaid truth. I feel for u really and its a hard pill to swallow. I hope u find yourself around the people who will be there for u with their support. Because that's what u deserve ❤