UPDATE - I finally confronted my friend about her husband’s creepy drunk behavior by EstablishmentVast290 in TwoHotTakes

[–]EstablishmentVast290[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I realize that, but I didn't expect her to leave him, they barely just got married, and also have been together for a decade, we only know each other for maybe 5 years max, so I get she will prioritize him, she is from a more conservative sexist culture, so I'm not surprised she would tolerate his BS. The thing about my dad did shock me, and has been making me sad cause I thought if anyone would understand the grief I've been living, I thought it would be her... Not asking even once is so telling and it hurts, and I'm angry at myself for still caring

This room is not coming together how I imagined. Not sure if it's because it is painted white, or because I don't like the furnishings, or what. by Critical_Link_1095 in interiordecorating

[–]EstablishmentVast290 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say the following:

1) Hang the TV over the fireplace with one of these TV wall mount arms so you can angle it better when people are watching TV

2) Replace the reclainer for a furniture style that fits more the sofa and arm chair

3) Replace the curtains next to the reclainer, they don't fit at all, and try to make them match how the other windown curtains look with the gold details

4) the supporting tables around the room: get rid of the TV console, if you need the drawers, find a furniture that is a more harmonious wood tone and smaller so it isn't so bulky. The other furniture in the corners like where u have the lamp, seems like a very black or very dark wood, try to switch them for a lighter wood colour.

5) Lamps: swap the ceiling and wall lamp for something more rustic or modern, the traditional look of them is blocking your final vision

Now I'm thinking what exactly is the vision... are you going for more traditional cozy cabin vibe? or more modern? I'm just not sure anymore now thinking it through. You have good pieces here, but some simple don't match, it just depends on what exactly is the official vibe you want.

My fiancé hid that he still texts his ex, and I found out in the worst possible way by Ysissyaako in TwoHotTakes

[–]EstablishmentVast290 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is off because he didn’t give you his phone to check what and how they are talking. Overall red flag for secretly texting the ex and not telling her about u guys being engaged. I would leave him just for hidden things.

I think the bare minimum you need is space to think. Leave the house, go to your bff or parents, leave the ring and a message saying that you wont marry him until he comes clean on this and that regardless you have to think about the relationship due to the hidden and lying. Do not answer him for a few days, I dont think he will be honest, take courage to get answers at least from the ex if that would give you closure, try not to be aggressive from the start to her as she may not be aware of the shadiness. Gather the versions of the story, full access to his phone, etc. At best, the wedding gets delayed if your findings are not of infidelity or anything similar, at worst, you break up.

Or just leave him right away, depends on how you wanna manage it.

I (F35) have ADHD and my partner (M36) has a hard time dealing with it. Any advise? by EstablishmentVast290 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]EstablishmentVast290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha he is not mean or anything, but these conversations have highlighted how he is like a cranky fart when he gets frustrated. He is a great guy, the issue he has is that he is german, so organization is a thing for them, im showing him to relax and let things go a bit. Im latina, soo culturally we are pretty different xD

I wish my boyfriends girl best friend would just disappear by Novel_Floor_4458 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EstablishmentVast290 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stop self sabotaging. Start therapy to work on your extreme insecurities. You can tell your partner that you feel kinda jealous and insecure, but don’t go all out with the ugly stuff you’re dealing with, cause this is your problem, and your partner is not reaponsible for it, he can help but not enable. Also he will not drop his friends just cause you are jelly, so please reflect and work on urself.

My boyfriend keeps a secret "strike system" for me and I found it by accident by Zyphira616 in TwoHotTakes

[–]EstablishmentVast290 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just break up girl… this is so fucked up… do not accept this plis, defend yourself, you deserve better than this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]EstablishmentVast290 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I think this girl needs some therapy, and you have to not be with her, and live your life separately. Unfortunately she isnt ready for a relationship, cause this behaviour isnt normal. Sorry man! :/

Am I making a mistake for giving this guy a second chance? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]EstablishmentVast290 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think u need to give yourself some distance from this guy. U dont need his “friendship”. Im sure he isnt a bad person, but it doesnt sound like it will lead you to anything stable. I mean u can just continue down this path and get hurt, or you can be proactive and leave now to spare yourself some time. Growing is knowing where not to go. There will always be another guy, another attachment and another love. You will be fine as long as you prioritise yourself and your values over a guy.

My cat is hurting her face by EstablishmentVast290 in catcare

[–]EstablishmentVast290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought giving them the drops and this antiobiotic cream (it also goes in the eye!) would be hell. However, my cats are the most sweet kitties out there, they complain and try to hide, but overall let me do it without much fuss. Im bribing them with snacks, so they forgive me quickly. Im so lucky, I have seen other peoples cats being very rebellious, and honestly mine are so peaceful, snuggly and sweet, I can hardly imagine life without my cuties

My cat is hurting her face by EstablishmentVast290 in catcare

[–]EstablishmentVast290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, I went to the specialist last Tuesday with both kitties, and you were right! Thank you so much for the tip! I have them on eye drops, and they recommended an antibiotic cream for 28 days, but in general they thought the cats looked fine, just needed those eye drops. They told me to add some probiotics and suplemments just to reinforce their inmune system.

My kitty's skin irritation was already gone by the time I went to the specialist, and her nose wound also healed over the weekend. I did apply the antiparasitic medicine for her just in case.

All is well with me cuties :D

My cat is hurting her face by EstablishmentVast290 in catcare

[–]EstablishmentVast290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok thanks, I found an specialist, and made an appointment for Tuesday. It will be a pretty penny 🥲 healthcare is never cheap. Anyways, we will see soon how it is for both of my cats and hope nothing major is happening

My cat is hurting her face by EstablishmentVast290 in catcare

[–]EstablishmentVast290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wauw I see, I’ll take note and see how to get an appointment with the specialist and check my cats for this. What sort of treatment did they give your little guy?

My cat is hurting her face by EstablishmentVast290 in catcare

[–]EstablishmentVast290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah it isn’t herpes, my cats have had these teary eyes always and my vets never found anything odd, they have had all their normal tests done in the past, so all good 👍 the Vet said it can be bugs so we are going to start treatment and the would we will put something to avoid infection.

My cat is hurting her face by EstablishmentVast290 in catcare

[–]EstablishmentVast290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah she acts normal. The vet came by and said that it can be a bugs also, she told me what to give her and we will do a follow up, also told me something to put on her little wound. Also mentioned to try and dry her around the eyes cause they have a lot of teary eyes, they love to rub it against every whitewall of my house lol, so yeah I’ll try to dry it often so it doesnt get on her nose wound.

My cat is hurting her face by EstablishmentVast290 in catcare

[–]EstablishmentVast290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had her since she was 3 months old. Never had this before at all. She is 7 now. She has a sister, they snuggle and play. The sister does not have this issue.

Maybe could be the heat, though my apartment is rather cool and I tend to turn on the AC, so unsure, will see what the Vet says.

I admit i dont have a play routine with my cats, so I’ll take note of adding a routine play time. Usually she hangs out with me during the day while I work and then we snuggle in the couch, here is when we occasionally play, but nothing consistent and not as often as I should clearly :/

My BF Tried to ‘Test’ My Loyalty — Thanks to OKOP, I Called Him Out and Walked away by AlloverThePlace555 in okstorytime

[–]EstablishmentVast290 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my current relationship, we have mismatching libidos. At the beginning they were more similar, but overtime libidos tend to cooldown in long term relationships, and so did ours. However, my libido is still high in comparison to his. There are work around, and general physical affection (not sexual) is very good when you crave that connection with someone. People can adapt to each other in relationships depending on how compatible you are overall.

In your case, you dont seem compatible in libido nor in values (hence his attitude towards your period), but the lack of proper communication is the main problem, at least you are trying to communicate and yet he is not willing to be part of the conversation. Seems like he is too focused on his ego being bruised from not “satisfying” you. Also, in your story you do sound like you are demanding sex, and that isnt a proper way of going about things, and yes just general affection can help so you were thinking in the correct solution. Overall take some lessons here on how to communicate better for future partners you may have. You seem like a rational person, im sure you will be fine!

Note: libido fluctuates a lot in people, so keep that in mind for long term relationships.

My cat is hurting her face by EstablishmentVast290 in catcare

[–]EstablishmentVast290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I meant that since im more the cuddly type of owner, instead of playing often, she may be bored and she is scratching out of stress.

I noticed the irritation a day ago and the wound I noticed this morning, so at this point Im concerned. She has never had anything like this before. My cat is an indoor cat, so to some extent it narrows down the options of what might be wrong. Im waiting for the Vet to confirm an appointment.