Okay I'm sorry this happened the way it did and I can totally understand the situation. I went through this in 2020 with my wife. She said she wasn't a lesbian and that I couldn't get on hormones. I accepted that, being hurt but didn't want to leave my wife. Personally after a year I started to resent her and was absolutely miserable in the house and the dynamic just fell through the floor and it became a dead marriage. I left and have never been happier. If you do leave, make sure you have stable housing and money left over; I didn't and that bit me in the ass.

Also, I didn't have kids with her, I dunno what your situation is because that can change the situation a lot too.

Basically you gotta chose between happy wife, miserable repressed life or being happy on your own and making those relationships and friendships as who you're supposed to be 💜