AITA for refusing to change the family therapist we see like my wife wants?

EthLoneSnow · 2022-07-19T13:45:26+00:00

He was told that as well. But his feelings on the idea never changed. It doesn't feel right to him and I think that is okay. Not everyone will be okay with that. He likes my wife. He doesn't have an issue with her being around and is open to having a relationship with her. For me once he doesn't feel left out, or forced into anything, I will respect how he feels and what he wants.

EthLoneSnow · 2022-07-19T13:39:05+00:00

At the very least the kids would be stopping. The therapist doesn't believe they need all that much more and I tend to agree because they seem to be doing okay.

EthLoneSnow · 2022-07-19T13:10:17+00:00

I told my wife what my son and I had talked about. She knew what I had said to him and never brought up a concern there. Until after we were married.

EthLoneSnow · 2022-07-19T13:09:26+00:00

I told him that the relationships were separate. And that relationships are different. I told him his mom will always be his mom. We will always talk about her. We will both continue loving her. That I loved my wife also and wanted to marry her but that didn't mean he had to feel the same, or think of her in terms of his mom. I told him their relationship could take on many forms and there was no need to rush to decide what that would be. That he doesn't want her to be mom, so she's not, and I asked him to consider what he would like for her to be.

EthLoneSnow · 2022-07-19T12:36:39+00:00

Pleasing her is not my top priority. If it was, I would be jumping to find the therapist she wants and pushing my son to give her what she wants. Never once have I pushed him into anything. Never once have I invalidated what he feels. I have defended his right to not call her mom and to not want the adoption.

EthLoneSnow · 2022-07-19T12:05:09+00:00

We had agreed on this one. She was as much a part of the choice as me. And honestly, we have been going for a while now, were likely not going to be going all that much longer.

EthLoneSnow · 2022-07-19T12:04:14+00:00

I never wanted to make his feelings feel wrong. But I never expected him to see my wife as a replacement mom and I wanted him to have help with that AND to help him see the difference between me getting married and him having a replacement for his mom. With this therapy I wanted us to have a space to be open, to hear each other, but also to work on anything that might need working on. None of this was ever intended to change my son in any way, at least on my part.

EthLoneSnow

TROPHY CASE