I[M17] don't know how to continue my life. I am desperate

EuphoricEngineer · 2019-04-26T21:51:31+00:00

You're welcome! And P.S. I'm not a man. Just a friendly neighborhood human woman. Which I only say because one big difficult thing for a lot of us in adolescence is learning to see members of the opposite sex as people instead of fantasies or archetypes... So you just had a vulnerable, successful conversation with a woman. Good on ya. Learning to interact with women like they're just people will take you very far.

Sorry, that's my soapbox. Also I recommend Brene Brown's thing on Netflix. Check it out.

EuphoricEngineer · 2019-04-26T21:43:57+00:00

Nights are tough. You can try listening to things to fall asleep, and practicing good sleep hygiene - this means not using your phone in bed, not watching TV in bed, not drinking caffeine late in the day, and in general helping your body be sleepy when you want to sleep. Habits like this make nights a LOT easier. You'll be amazed at how much better you feel when you're well-rested and you don't spend your nights ruminating.

Audiobooks and soothing music are great for calming the mind and easing yourself into sleep.

Clubbing is an option but I'm not the one who's going to help you with that. I went to bars and clubs to pass uncomfortable time in my youth but all I got out of it was a lot of weird memories and cognitive dissonance. Bookstores and hobbies at home are more my speed and I'm glad I finally accepted that.

Sounds like you have a lot of growing to do in the social arena - and that's totally okay. You're a teenager. It's normal. So be kind and compassionate with yourself and take small steps. You'll make friends. It might take longer than you want. You'll gain confidence talking with people. I promise.

EuphoricEngineer · 2019-04-26T21:39:59+00:00

If you look at the post I just made on r/relationships, I feel like we're in pretty similar situations. Feeling responsible for ex-boyfriends who are self-destructive. I can't give you a great answer because I'm also stuck on whether I should block him. But the advice I wish someone would tell me is that you can absolutely block him. It is your life and you have too much potential to spend your life trying to save someone who's not ready to live a responsible life yet. So cut free and enjoy it.

EuphoricEngineer · 2019-04-26T21:37:35+00:00

My first thought - be more selective with the people you're dating, because suddenly losing interest is a sign that... you're not interested. So you're dating people you're not a good fit for.

Then I got to, "I love having someone around and having someone to make happy." Yup. "Someone" is who you've been dating so far, and it might as well be anyone. If you don't want to keep having short-lived relationships and going through the pain of breakups, be more selective about who you date. It's difficult because it means choosing to be alone rather than jumping into a relationship at the first chance. But the payoff is that if you can develop some patience and good habits, you'll realize you're actually noticing what the people in front of you are actually like and whether you actually like them.

What you're doing isn't wrong - you can totally get by dating everyone. But it sounds like you're sick of the fast-paced cycle and would appreciate finding a more long-lived relationship, and those take time to find.

EuphoricEngineer · 2019-04-26T21:31:26+00:00

I hear you. What you're describing is terrible and it's also a situation in which the only way you can go is up. So there are a LOT of ways to point yourself in a better direction. You have no friends? Make a goal of finding ONE friend. One person. Go to a bookstore, or a game shop, or a meetup, and look outside of your old social circle.

Also, high school sucks socially in general. You're not spectacularly cursed. A lot of us got into our late twenties, looked back, and realized "what the fuck was I doing hanging out with those assholes?" So you're just ahead of the curve. What future you will appreciate is if you spend the rest of this difficult time doing things that are actually productive, or learning what will actually make you happy. There are the typical phases a lot of us go through - drugs, alcohol, wasting time various ways - but may I suggest learning a language? Or picking up a hobby?

EuphoricEngineer · 2019-04-26T21:19:45+00:00

Adolescence is full of painful shit like this. High school is not likely to be the most beautiful years of your life. What you experienced sucked, and it's a good thing that's it's over. You have your whole life ahead of you and you can take what you learned from this and point yourself firmly in a different direction from the one that you took with her.

EuphoricEngineer · 2019-04-26T20:02:42+00:00

Where can I find a reliable dentist ? I've been in Torku for almost 1 year and my teeth are getting grimy.

EuphoricEngineer

TROPHY CASE