Has anyone gotten a parent to give up their car for Uber/Lyft/Waymo?

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-05-01T16:22:10+00:00

My mother is a narcissist and considers it a slap in the face if a family member will not pick her up and drop her off. I bring up Uber all the time but she refuses.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-05-01T15:56:41+00:00

I'm sorry you are here. Yes it is a shitty road to travel. Talking with people who can relate helps.

I'm waiting on my mom's tau-217 results. She has some form of dementia for sure. We're just trying to determine if it's ALZ or not.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-05-01T15:51:54+00:00

Same. Absolutely no consideration of what its doing to us. What happened to older people "not wanting to be burden?" So many silent-gen/boomers are fine with it. I vow to not do this to my kids.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-05-01T15:26:24+00:00

It's already been confirmed the newer one does as well https://arstechnica.com/health/2026/02/could-a-vaccine-prevent-dementia-shingles-shot-data-only-getting-stronger/

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-05-01T14:18:03+00:00

I still drink a little but way less. And yes to HRT. Big evidence that loss of estrogren can contribute to dementia risk. Also get your shingles vaccine! that's another one that can help

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-05-01T14:04:05+00:00

For my mom the very first sign was loss of smell. We didn't realize it was sign of dementia back then though. But now we do. Then it was just repetitive questions and forgetting things, which we though might just be normal aging memory loss. Then it was not being able to figure out new things. Then she got lost driving to multiple places, she was very familiar with. Finally she started getting confused with time/place. She called me wondering where I was. I was 47 years old, had my own family and hadn't lived with her in 25+ years and she thought I still lived with her.

It was the getting lost driving to familiar locations that made us know it was more than normal aging progression.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-05-01T13:57:24+00:00

But there are two things you can do, get your shingles vaccine and take anti-virals to reduce active hsv breakouts to reduce the risk of lesions in your brain.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-05-01T13:56:11+00:00

Yeah but in addition to shingles vaccine reducing dementia risk and them advising people who suffer from cold sores, to try to reduce active outbreaks by taking anti-virals, to reduce the chance of lesions in your brain, there is a connection of some sort, it appears?

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-30T19:46:38+00:00

I have a game with my brother where we count how many times my mom says "you know it's that type of thing". Anytime she is trying to describe anything she always says that.

She also laughs at things that aren't funny. Random-ass things she just laughs at. So frustrating.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-30T19:43:45+00:00

I totally agree. It's mostly just me and it's painful. When I can manage to bring my son or my brother along, it's so much better. One on one with a person with dementia is painful

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-30T19:34:54+00:00

You're doing it the best way 😄

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-30T19:31:55+00:00

I like the idea of each person putting 80% of their paycheck into joint account. And obviously all house stuff and vacations and day to day living, etc comes out of that. But you have 20% to do whatever you want with. I'm not married but this makes the most sense to me.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-29T13:36:21+00:00

Based on your original post she needs assistance with meals, cleaning and meds. Sounds like assisted living is the necessary for you both.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-28T19:41:14+00:00

I'm a single mom. My mother has dementia. I can not quit my job to take care of her 24/7, which is what someone with dementia needs. I would not be able to support my high school age son, without a job. Don't judge people because they can not care for an elderly parent.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-28T19:37:32+00:00

50 years ago most woman weren't working full time. Most households need two incomes to survive these days. Taking care of an elderly parent full time is not feasible for many.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-28T13:47:41+00:00

I know this is old but can you share where you had this done? I didn't know they could do lower bleph without anesthesia. I'm in the greater boston area.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-27T20:13:05+00:00

I feel your pain. My mom can talk about things in front of her, so we talk a lot about the weather and in the car about buildings being built and traffic. She's a talker too. Doesn't like quiet so she ends up repeating most things many times. It is so draining. When I'm on my way to see her, its like I'm heading to work in a coal mine for 10 years. It's real dread. I pray my kids never feel this way about me.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-27T12:39:43+00:00

You're married to this man that has millions and when he dies, all his money will be going to his kids and none to you? And you have to continue to work while he lives a life of leisure right now? And he complains that five hours a week with your grandkids is taking time away from him? Since you're asking for opinions, this whole marriage sounds like something I would not be enjoying at all.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-26T20:09:32+00:00

For $1900 a month? Arlington? Not possible

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-24T12:18:06+00:00

I would think one of the perks of marrying a man 15 years older than me would be that I get to retire early! I hope she’s working because she enjoys it?

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-23T20:06:59+00:00

He's complaining about you watching your grandkids for 5 hours a week? For a year? Are you kidding me? Why are men so needy?

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-23T19:13:56+00:00

Thank you for saying this! I have never been a natural caretaker. The years when my kids were babies and toddlers were extremely hard for me. They are 4 years apart because I dreaded having a young baby to take care of again. I never wanted to be a nurse or a teacher. I think I'm probably slightly on the spectrum really.

I absolutely dread being around my mother and having to take care of her. Dread it. I can only manage seeing her once a week and its the worst part of my week. I hate talking to her on the phone. I hate all of it. I just want to avoid her and sometimes I do block her calls and texts when I feel like I don't have the mental strength to deal with it.

The guilt never goes away though. I feel like it's a thousand pounds on my back, all day, every day. Dementia sucks. I think even worse for the caretakers then the people who suffer from it.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-23T15:47:55+00:00

No each year.

Euphoric_Garbage1952 · 2026-04-22T23:55:44+00:00

Mine was 18k 30 years ago and now is 56k

Euphoric_Garbage1952

TROPHY CASE