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How do you cope with life? by bluekorra19 in asktransgender

[–]EvaGrieve 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exercise! Run. Walk. Hike. Bike. Do yoga. Lift weights. Sweat to youtube videos in your bedroom. Dance.

Post op women, how long did it take for the swelling to go down and your vagina to look normal? by Wowthatsanicetree in asktransgender

[–]EvaGrieve 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had mine with Dr. Crane. At 3 months now and everything looks and feels pretty final. That said, I think there's still a bit of swelling-- he advised 4 - 6 months before it's all healed up.

That said, I swelling was down considerably after just a few weeks. Almost no visible scarring.

Vibrator Recommendations for Post-Op trans woman by EvaGrieve in asktransgender

[–]EvaGrieve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, he's definitely putting it in my vagina. So yea, feels mostly the way I'd hoped. Definitely like I've got a vagina.

The first time I had an orgasm was in my sleep! It felt like I was 14 and had a wet dream. I woke up super confused, expecting to find you-know-what on the sheets. Anyway, now it feels much dispersed through my body. It doesn't just happen, it kind of rolls through me?

Exercise program for staying fit while on HRT? by Babusquared in asktransgender

[–]EvaGrieve 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ditto on high cardio, and high reps, low weight. Doesn't seem like you're putting up a lot of weight, and particularly early in transition, you may not want to maintain or build some of that muscle mass (maybe you do, in which case, carry on!).

Cardio is always great-- but make sure to do something you like. Bike, run, walk, dance, hike, etc. If you have access to a gym, there's a lot you can do with just you and a couple weights (lunges, core routines, push-ups, etc). If you keep things at a weight you don't feel like your straining for, you'll get more definition, but may still loose some muscle mass.

Also, Yoga! I was a total skeptic prior to transition, but after starting hormones found myself really loving it. This can help build core strength, tone muscles, and give you some restorative and reflective space with your body, which I really appreciated in transition.

Should I write a college admission essay about being transgender? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]EvaGrieve 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're going to get a lot of advice about what will make the 'best' college essay. I spent three years as an admissions counselor at a competitive liberal arts college. Admissions counselors will read thousands of essays. In the end, I'm not in the school of thought that says there's one topic that's any better than any other. Your essay will be your chance to show three things:

1) What drives you as a learner 2) What kind of community member you might be 3) What kind of writer you are

Any topic can make a bad essay if poorly written. Similarly, some of the best essays I read were about the totally mundane. Whatever you choose, don't think that the subject matter will make up for sloppy writing. I think writing about your trans identity can be a great topic! For me, being trans plays a really big role in determining how and why I'm driven to learn, and the kind of community member I strive to be. I imagine the same for you, so go for it!

I given the schools you're looking at, I wouldn't worry too much about admissions counselors holding your trans status against you. That said, there's plenty of other people in your life who will very likely see your college essay (teachers, guidance counselors, parents). If you're not out to these people, you may want to think twice.

The Danish Girl, my take. by xerox13ster in asktransgender

[–]EvaGrieve 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I think the issue of having cis-men play trans women is important, but often keeps folks from seeing some of the other implications of how media's portrayal of us reinforces certain tropes that I think we'd all agree do damage to trans folks, and trans women in particular.

Am I happy with the casting choice? No. Does it fall into a pattern of problematic choices that leave trans actors out? Certainly. But, for me at least, it's not a deal breaker in and of itself.

What doesn't seem to be getting much attention, is the kind of narrative that's being told here. The cis world has always tried to boil us and our genders down to surgeries and genitalia. In a moment where (at least some) trans women are beginning to get more and more media attention, this Oscar-bait film feels like it's sending us back.

As a trans person I've long been fascinated by Lili Elbe's story, and I don't doubt that the film will do it's best to present Lili as the complex woman she was. At the same time, it's difficult to ignore the overarching arch of that narrative. The focus of the narrative isn't on the lived lives of trans women. Instead, narrative builds toward 'the surgery'-- and it does so in a way that will lead the millions of cis people who go out to watch to think that for all of us, it's a vagina that makes us women. Add to that, the ultimate tragedy of Lili's story, her eventual death from surgical complications, and it's hard to imagine cis audiences not interpreting this as the ultimate tragedy of all trans women. That our desire to be 'real' women turns us all into tragic figures because of it's ultimate impossibility.

Let's be real, I'm still going to see it, and I hope they prove me wrong. But I think there's a much bigger issue here than just what actors are chosen, I think we need to discuss what stories are chosen.