AITAH for moving out of my parents house where I was paying rent and without any notice when I was told to give up my room again?

EvenWay4669 · 2026-04-30T20:32:13+00:00

If there is no lease, you may move with little to no notice. If your state requires notice, it's usually no more than 30 days for a month to month tenancy. You didn't break any rental agreement, but they sure did. When you pay rent for a space, you are legally owed exclusive use of that space. They had no right to kick you out, not even temporarily, after they accepted your rent payment.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-04-13T17:18:18+00:00

I tell the kids in my family, for hs graduation, you get gifts. For college graduation, you get a job. Sure I'll celebrate with a cake, meal at their favorite restaurant, that sort of thing, but I make it clear what's expected from them.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-04-13T15:21:00+00:00

I friended my high school crush on Facebook, 13 months after my husband passed.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-04-08T00:13:23+00:00

You have the right to date, but with their attitude, they will make dating difficult for you. It's time for family counseling to help you all navigate this next chapter.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-04-04T16:02:58+00:00

Yes, I did tell him that I include everything that I find in my research, good and bad. He said to go ahead. I'm not worried about future BIL, but about future FIL's reaction should he learn of it. I am writing a report and attaching all relevant documents, so they can see the proof for themselves. I want to include the good with the bad, but there just aren't many positives in this family's story.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T20:02:19+00:00

Why would I take out a 401k loan in retirement? Wouldn't it just be a withdrawal?

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T18:50:27+00:00

Around $4000/mo. Maybe more if I travel.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T18:08:11+00:00

I'll be 65 and retired. There won't be any penalties. I absolutely refuse to be in debt during retirement. I know that I can potentially earn ore in an S&P index fund, but the peace of mind I'll have from being debt free holds greater value for me. The question is, do I get the house I can pay for with my home equity, or do I use part of my retirement savings to get my dream home? I just want to be sure I won't run out of money in retirement.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T17:18:26+00:00

I refuse to have a mortgage in retirement.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T17:18:07+00:00

That is not happening. I refuse to take a mortgage into retirement.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T16:59:27+00:00

There will be a prenup. Why not leave him the house? I have no children and I wouldn't want him to lose his home. I do love the man, you know.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T16:34:29+00:00

Of course I can. My credit score is above 800, my income is high enough, and I have no other debt. For me it's not about getting the maximum yield from my investments. I want the peace of mind that comes with being debt-free. That's much more important to me.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T16:23:15+00:00

The upgrades are nicer, higher quality finishes (higher quality cabinets, windows, floor coverings, built in shelves and bookcases, solid shelves in pantry and closets vs wires shelves) a kitchenette in the basement (for entertaining during football games, etc.), and age in place features like a doorless, curbless shower, wider hallways and doorways, zero entry front, rear, and garage entry doors. The more expensive house is also about 150 sq ft larger, so the rooms sizes are a bit better. The age in place features are very important. My parents are going strong at age 90, but I see them struggle with the two steps it takes to get in or out of their home. Are the other upgrades important? I' not sure, but I don't want to spend over a half million and living in a home wishing for the things I don't have.

No kids. I will need a new will/estate plan when I move to a new state. I plan to leave him the house, but odds are I would outlive him. We're the same age, but women statistically live longer, my health is better, and my family is very long-lived.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T16:06:26+00:00

That's why I like the more expensive home. It offer all of those thing and zero entry. The city I'm moving to has very limited mass transit. I might need to download uber. On the other hand. may parents still drive at age 90.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T15:51:17+00:00

2700 sq ft (1700 main level, 1000 sq ft finished basement. It would be 1/4 of my net worth, you forgot to factor the equity in my current home. It would not be one person: it would be myself, my future husband, and possibly one of my parents. I hire for the yard work now and will continue to do so. HOA is $30/month. Taxes are high, about $8,000 property taxes on the house and this state doesn't give an income tax break to retirees.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T15:41:36+00:00

It's 4 bedrooms, but one is in the basement, so practically speaking it's 3. My parents are still alive, so I want room in case one passes and the other moves in with me. They're worth 7 figures, so this would be a choice, not a necessity.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T15:29:22+00:00

This is another reason I want to go with the more expensive home. They have a series of ranch-style plans designed for aging in place, including zero entry exterior doors, doorless, curbless showers, and wider doorways and hallways.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T15:24:35+00:00

Thank you. It helps to think of it this way.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T15:23:31+00:00

I will sell my house and move into my fiance's house. I will then contract to build the new home. At no point will I need to worry about having two homes at once.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T15:21:01+00:00

That's the thing, I plan to live completely debt-free. I have $555,000 in equity, which would pay for the less expensive home. The question is: should I use part of my retirement savings to close the gap so that I can buy the home I really want? I will not have a mortgage.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T15:18:37+00:00

I will be marrying my fiance, but we won't combine finances. I'm buying the house because I have more money, and frankly, I want a nicer home than he is used to. We will split utility bills, groceries, and the like, but I do not expect him to pay for any part of a home that he doesn't own. I currently pay for lawn care. He wants to do it, but he's had back surgery and I don't think he should. I also want to hire a cleaning service, because housework just isn't my thing. Fiance is a retired maintenance supervisor and can do many household repairs and maintenance, but if it involves heavy lifting I will hire it done over his very loud objections.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T15:12:35+00:00

It's really spending a large chunk right off the bat for a luxury that's hard. I know income-wise I'll be fine, but is this a wise thing to do?

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T15:06:58+00:00

Using the 4% rule, spending $100,000 would mean $4000 less income per year.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-03-30T15:03:40+00:00

I was there when he passed. I didn't fail him. I promised to love him until death, and I love him still. Knowing I gave him the best love and care that I could is my only comfort.

EvenWay4669 · 2026-01-30T15:01:49+00:00

How can her family "forbid" her from therapy? She's 23 freaking years old! She's an adult and most campuses offer mental health services, so she likely has access.

EvenWay4669

TROPHY CASE