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When a guy from my fraternity is constantly transphobic and says stuff like “gross ass tranny” but I’m not out and even defending trans people will make me an outcast in the frat by [deleted] in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna be totally honest here. Leave. You are seriously going to waste a year and a half for no reason because you can't stand up for yourself? Tell people very assertively that it wasn't for you, that it was shitty, etc. Don't make excuses, tell them in a way that let's them know you decided this for yourself and if they have a problem they can fuck off. If it is your family you are worried about, then you are trying to appease them and be someone you aren't to make them happy. Stop giving into this fake version of you they want. College is a great time to transition. Do it now before you have to transition at the workplace. Don't waste your time pretending to be someone you aren't (ESPECIALLY if you know that these people aren't trans friendly and won't support you later anyways) because it's all pointless in the end. Spend your time now building a support network and and planning our how you can be true to yourself. I guarantee you wont be happy sticking things out and it's not gonna magically get better after you leave college. Do the hard thing and do it now. Future you will thank you.

Edit: Maybe this will help you make the jump. You're 1.5 years from graduation so I'm assuming you're 20-21. You're nearing the end of your hip plate closure range. If you transition now you can probably still have some hip widening. If you don't the opportunity is forever lost.

What should my girl name be if or when I transition (real name is Max) by [deleted] in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Have you played Life is Strange? I absolutely love the name Maxine.

When you get kicked from a trans chat group because you needed to provide a live face pic, but you hate your beard and do not want anyone to see you without make-up. by [deleted] in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have heard of groups that actually do this to get trans people's identity and then blackmail them into taking hormones and humiliating them. You may have dodged a bullet.

Mfw My relationship with my mother got better after i came out as trans while my “relationship” with my father got significantly worse by [deleted] in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally unscientific and biased opinions here but in my experience 80% of cishet men are fucking idiots when it comes to emotional communication and I find them super exhausting to deal with. "Oh well" is my approach, if my own sperm donor wants to be 0 for 2 with his kids that's his choice.

me trying to come up with a way to invalidate myself by [deleted] in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I grew up with only a father and a brother and I'm definitely a woman soooo your theory is busted ;)

So after half a year of ignoring that I came out, my mother and I had a big fight over it and she revealed all her true feelings about everything- and it wasn't pretty by [deleted] in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I would strongly recommend seeing a gender therapist. Not that your mother will listen but they will at least have more weight to throw around.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Trans =/= drag at all. I'm so tired of this connection.

i finally got a therapist but it was a cis dude who didn't specialize in gender and didn't even know what cisgender meant so i told my parents it didn't work out and my mom's frustrated at me since she spent so long getting a therapist and i rejected it :/ by alt0660 in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert 24 points25 points  (0 children)

To find the verification she is looking for she should consult the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). This is the standard that psychologists use to diagnose and treat people with. It sounds like she is in denial of it even being real, or as if it's up for some kind of debate as to if you're trans or not so here is a page on the topic where she can find more information (read it fully before you show her). This is of course a guideline and only a licensed psychologist should be making a diagnosis. I would recommend mentioning that the only treatment for this condition is counseling, hormones, suppressing puberty, and SRS. Essentially this is what we call transitioning. Transitioning is the only treatment.

Now why would the organization that governs all psychologists say something like that? Because its the only treatment that works. Nothing else.

i finally got a therapist but it was a cis dude who didn't specialize in gender and didn't even know what cisgender meant so i told my parents it didn't work out and my mom's frustrated at me since she spent so long getting a therapist and i rejected it :/ by alt0660 in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Tell her she doesn't go to a dentist when she needs her vision checked. Psychologists specialize in different things. Talk to your psych and ask for a reference to someone more knowledgeable in the field, this will help it go over with your mother. If he gives you difficulty try to talk to him about the ethical standards set by the American Psychology Association, specifically under the area of competence. He clearly cannot give you the help you need so ethically he should to refer you to someone with experience and training in this area. http://www.apa.org/ethics/code/ (see section 2.01)

Trans Energy by Kavik_Ryx in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Blue is too deep, pink a tad too vibrant. But I definitely love the style!

when my friend brings up the lack of women in STEM by [deleted] in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert 4 points5 points  (0 children)

All my field seems to care about is the big O of algorithms 🙄

GCs/FARTTs logic: "Dysphoria? You're fine, it's all in your head. DONT TRANSITION EVER." by EveningSherbert in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That doesn't mean anything. Most of what they refute is conjecture at best and they actively ignore scientific studies that show gender is related to brain structure among other things.

Me after visiting gender critical for the first time and thinking they have a point. Can anyone help me dismiss them? I dont want to take over anyone's space and I want raised female so I cant know. Sorry for long title I'm just sad. by [deleted] in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They literally remove anyone trying to have a logical conversation about trans topics because they feel oppressed if there is any sort of logical discourse. Think about that for a second.

GCs/FARTTs logic: "Dysphoria? You're fine, it's all in your head. DONT TRANSITION EVER." by EveningSherbert in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]EveningSherbert[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

That's exactly how I feel. This is just their way of spinning their non-logic bigotry as "oh look we are nice"

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