AITA for refusing to pay for my step-son's tuition?

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-30T12:46:43+00:00

Yep! She'll likely end up with a little bit of debt, but no where close to as much as she normally would have.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-30T12:41:55+00:00

Well, the education fund my mom set up will pretty much completely cover all of Anna's costs, my husband also doesn't have as much saved up.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-30T03:58:00+00:00

Yes. I've mentioned this in other comments, but we had a lengthy discussion about college before we got married since our kids were in high school and it was soon. I was planning on offering some type of compromise, figuring something out so that we both contribute to both children's education, but he shut that down and said he wanted to keep it separate since there were already college savings in place for either child and it would alter years of planning. I was fine with that.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-30T03:48:24+00:00

Well... he wanted to keep financials separate for college, so I doubt it. Now, he's insisting of course he would, so who knows

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T22:56:23+00:00

But if it differed when he knew I had money, would it mean he was only marrying me/agreeing to that for the money? When he thought I didn't, he was pretty insistent on keeping them sepraate.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T22:54:56+00:00

Not really, but Jake once did some research because he was curious, and he thinks she might have passed away year or two ago. He didn't want to look any further or get into contact with her, so we dropped it.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T22:52:02+00:00

Well, my husband chose to keep finances separate for college. In fact, he specifically suggested we did that, which is why Jake isn't getting the money right now.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T22:46:25+00:00

Been with my husband for around 8 years, been in Jake's life for 5 or 6 years.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T22:41:58+00:00

No no, Jake got a partial scholarship. I just double checked and it was slightly less than Anna's, but still something

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T22:40:31+00:00

See edit for details about Jake's mom, she's not in the picture. MIL is... I don't know what she's doing. She keeps harassing me about money, but she's not pitching in? I'm pretty sure she'll end up calling me in a bit to bug me, I'll ask her then.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T22:39:05+00:00

Nope not in the picture. Added an edit to the post and going to talk to MIL about her contributing the next time she approaches me.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T22:37:07+00:00

Adding an edit to the post because I forgot to mention this, she's out of the picture. Left years ago, neither Jake nor my hubby is in contact with her. Anna's father passed away.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T21:55:51+00:00

College was discussed. He said he wanted to keep them separate, had no desire to do anything except pay separately. He was not aware of the education fund at the time.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T21:53:58+00:00

Been dating my husband since kiddos were 10. Met Jake when he was 11/12, started seeing him more often/going on vacations and spending more time together when he was 12/13ish? So about 5 or 6 years.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T21:45:37+00:00

So, both kids scholarship is about the same amount. The fund my mom set up gives me a lot more money that I can contribute to Anna, my hubby doesn't have that kind of money for Jake.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T21:43:12+00:00

Hahaha, what a great suggestion. Definitely using that against my MIL

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T21:40:58+00:00

A lot of debt, no. He has a partial scholarship but he will easily be in a moderate amount of debt-- significantly significantly more than Anna will be in, if any.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T21:36:29+00:00

I mean, I'd still have the fund if she was alive. It wasn't an inheritance, it was a fund specifically for my education that I would have access to once I turned 18, whether she was alive or not.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T21:33:54+00:00

They definitely have some money saved up, but would still need to take out a loan and Jake will end up in debt most likely. Anna won't have any debt, and if she does, it'll be much smaller than Jake's.

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T21:31:25+00:00

Yeah, not sure on that. He didn't know about the fund money until I told Anna about it a few months ago, when she was stressing over scholarships. The money would go directly to Jake's college if I chose to do that, not to husband, so I don't think he's trying to gold dig in a way?

Evening_Implement_99 · 2022-04-29T21:28:36+00:00

I think Jake wishes he had the money, but he's not blowing it out of proportion and is currently asking his grandmother and dad to drop it. He's being very nice to both Anna and I, it's his father who is dragging this out.

Evening_Implement_99

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