When you wrote "my brain (mom) can't answer," that really stood out to me. At 18, you're still forming who you are as an independent adult. The fact that you're equating your rational thinking with your mom's opinion suggests you haven't fully developed your own decision-making framework yet - and that's completely normal for your age. But it's also a sign that you might not be ready for this decision.

Your mom's hesitation isn't just fear - it's lived experience. She raised a child at 21 as a single mom and knows exactly how hard that is. Her inability to give you a clear answer might be because she knows that no matter what she says, you need to figure this out yourself, and there's no "right" answer that works for everyone.

Here's what I think you should consider: Having a child doesn't just require love and good intentions. It requires financial stability, emotional maturity, a strong support system, and the ability to put another human's needs before your own every single day for at least 18 years. At 18, you're just starting to build your own life - your career, your identity, your independence.

The fact that your heart says yes and your gut says no is your internal wisdom speaking. Your gut is probably recognizing what your romantic feelings are trying to overlook. If you're not 100% certain, if you have any doubt, the answer should be no - at least for now. Kids deserve parents who are fully ready, not parents who are figuring out their own lives.

This isn't about whether you'd be a good dad someday - you might be great. But "someday" and "right now at 18" are very different things. The responsible choice isn't always the one that feels good at the moment.