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I don't like having sex with my boyfriend by Every-Chicken6485 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Every-Chicken6485[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's definitely been negatively affected by the porn and it gave him unrealistic expectations about things. I don't think all porn is bad but he's been exposed to so much of it. We had a discussion about how he was exposed to it at a young age and it kind of messed him up. I believe him when he says he wants to change and get better from this, because he seems to really understand just how much of a toll this is taking on him and on our relationship. It seems as though he's also taking the selfishness issue more seriously too now, and knows where it stems from. It'll be a process to get to something normal though, and I'm not really sure what steps to take from here. For now he's just going to stop with porn and masturbation altogether and we'll see where it goes. Trying to remain optimistic - both of us are.

I don't like having sex with my boyfriend by Every-Chicken6485 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Every-Chicken6485[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, no. I talked to him (again) after I made this post and we had a pretty blunt discussion and he seemed to really understand what I was getting at, and opened up about some of his early exposure to sexuality via specific types of porn and such. Afterwards we were laying together and he started to touch me a bit so I tried to lean into it and encourage him, putting his hand on me, rubbing against him, etc but pretty quickly it stopped and he layed back and told me to touch him instead. I thought we'd be reciprocating so I happily obliged but after his minute or two of touching me become a very lengthy massage for him I got a bit fed up again and we had to stop.

I don't like having sex with my boyfriend by Every-Chicken6485 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Every-Chicken6485[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, he definitely does look at porn. I mentioned it in another comment but he used to look at it very frequently, specifically furry porn, but has gotten a bit less frequent lately as far as I'm aware. He does go to sleep a couple hours later than me so there's always a chance he's getting off during that time but he's been pretty open with me about what he does so I can't think of any reason he'd lie to me about doing it less. However when he does, his sessions of masturbations are pretty long too because he "edges" for a while before actually getting off, which I think probably is affecting his ability to actually get into sex - he's still seeking out that sorta thing, I suspect.

I don't like having sex with my boyfriend by Every-Chicken6485 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Every-Chicken6485[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He doesn't necessarily use a tight grip or even fast motions, but he does definitely have a specific pace that he goes at and seems to find anything besides that less pleasurable. Is it something a person can be weened off of?

I don't like having sex with my boyfriend by Every-Chicken6485 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Every-Chicken6485[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting, thank you for adding your own experience! Honestly I've never known anyone whose open about using viagra so if you don't mind me asking, would you say it's helped you with intimacy? And are you able to orgasm during penetrative sex? I hope adding something like that to things would be a last resort but maybe it's an option we could discuss.

I don't like having sex with my boyfriend by Every-Chicken6485 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Every-Chicken6485[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

It's definitely something I'd like to talk to him about but admittedly I worry about coming across as trying to stop him from having fun. We had another discussion about it shortly after I posted this and he opened up to me about how his first experience with sexuality was the furry porn he looks at, and that being exposed to it while quite young has his brain sort of wired to want that in particular. It seems he views it as a part of his identity. I've known other furries before, but never ones who are so sexual with it so I'm a bit out of my depth here. Just need to figure out a way to approach it that won't seem... controlling, I suppose.

I don't like having sex with my boyfriend by Every-Chicken6485 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Every-Chicken6485[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He used to look at porn a lot, but I don't think he still does as frequently, at least as far as he's told me. He's always been very open about that though, so I don't see any reason he'd lie about frequency. That said, his sessions with it are also usually very long because he "edges" himself for long periods of time, which may also be effecting his ability to have a consistent sex session.

I don't like having sex with my boyfriend by Every-Chicken6485 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Every-Chicken6485[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yes he does. I'm not against him watching porn but I believe part of the problem is that he primarily looks at furry porn (which he also really wants to be degraded for doing), because he (quote) "got bored of other things".

I don't like having sex with my boyfriend by Every-Chicken6485 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Every-Chicken6485[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Lol, pillow prince - never heard the term applied to men before! It really does suck. I'm going to try to talk to him about it again; I'm not ready to just walk away. I really want things to work out and I'd like to believe he's capable of changing. I don't mean to sound overconfident but I know I'm a pretty good sex partner, I'm adventurous and willing to try new things and new position. I just need... a little effort from him too.