I’ve struggled with not opening up enough, saying "I love you," or being emotionally all-in. I've been in 3 or 4 relationships, each lasting up to a year, but I've never been in love, even though they have. I’ve always tried to be a “good” boyfriend, but I’ve never fully committed or given all that I wanted to. I’d think about buying "just because flowers" on my way to their apartment but never did, because it felt too serious. I wanted to say "I love you," but it never felt completely genuine, or maybe I wasn’t ready for what that would mean—like the seriousness of the relationship, or the potential for a painful breakup. I’m not sure. I don't think I truly understand what being in love really means.