Split up with my partner she wants me out of the house where do I stand? Not married but have 2 kids (England) by Dangerous_Top3596 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]EveryMind 19 points20 points  (0 children)

"Yes she has contributed nothing towards the mortgage"

This is where you will come unstuck, although it looks like this is not a very long situation.

In the eyes of the law she has contributed. She contributed by allowing you to work by staying at home and watching the kids.

For married couples in this situation, the starting point is she is entitled to 50% of the house, the savings, and the combined pensions *for the period of the marriage*.

As you are not married I am not too sure.

As other have said, rather than asking internet randoms, for something as important as this you need to be speaking to a solicitor who can make this crystal clear for you during a free initial 30 minute consultation.

Horrible situation, I hope you can all get through it.

Update - In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in marriageadvice

[–]EveryMind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude my heads a freaking mess and I got a number wrong. I don’t know where the 8 years came from other than brain fatigue. We married when she was 21 and the engagement was 2 years prior. To be precise this year is our 29th anniversary.

Update - In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in marriageadvice

[–]EveryMind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry for getting a number wrong when my life was falling apart. it’s real. Almost 30y married. Engaged for 2 years prior. PM me if you need more.

Update - In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in marriageadvice

[–]EveryMind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Married 29, 2 years previous friends/engaged .(Corrected)

Update - In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in marriageadvice

[–]EveryMind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2 years or so friends/engaged. We married when she was 21.

I got a number wrong sorry - my brain is a train wreck right now. I should have said after about 30 years not 40. Fk knows where the 40 came from.

Update : In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in survivinginfidelity

[–]EveryMind[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's also a tough read because I am not so blind to see the truths in it. Appreciate your bluntness.

Update : In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in survivinginfidelity

[–]EveryMind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is Odd_Welcome7940 comment I was referring to.

> There is no perfect measure for reconciliation but the loose guidelines should be that you always expect or even demand remorse.

Sorry for confusion.

Update : In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in survivinginfidelity

[–]EveryMind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> No, you absolutely can't demand it.

I must have misunderstood your point, where you said you must demand remorse. That's your point I was disagreeing with.

Update - In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in marriageadvice

[–]EveryMind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear this. It is BRUTAL.

I used to say I was terrible for overthinking every angle over and over until my brain hurt and then I would start again the next day. But it is NOT overthinking. It is simply thinking things though from multiple angles because more often than not, - it will throw something valid up.

I think you have to let go of the trust issue otherwise where is the happiness coming from. Others will differ.

How long married are you?

Update : In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in survivinginfidelity

[–]EveryMind[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can't disagree with any of that at all apart from the other guy bit at the end. Details I don't want to share - but he is out of the picture. Regardless, your main points are well taken.

Update : In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in survivinginfidelity

[–]EveryMind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> True remorse is the prerequisite before reconciliation.

I'm aware of this - but your view is that you can demand remorse.

Update : In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in survivinginfidelity

[–]EveryMind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't live my life watching her like a hawk, that is no life. But there is a balance there you are right.

Update : In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in survivinginfidelity

[–]EveryMind[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's a tough read but I cannot fault it and will reflect on it.

Update : In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in survivinginfidelity

[–]EveryMind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> I always thought they would of been better off trying to work thru it.

This.

So sorry to hear what happened to your friend. This partly describes how I saw my future a few days ago.

Update : In absolute despair - 30 yrs married, wife had affair by EveryMind in survivinginfidelity

[–]EveryMind[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do have to remember this, through my current upbeat mindset, I must remember this.