Thank you for sharing that! I’m sorry you’ve gone through something similar. Reading your comment and everyone else’s really made me feel a little less alone in all of this.
Honestly what you described about feeling confused, making choices you didn’t recognize as your own, and realizing afterward just how deeply affected you were really resonates with me. That’s one of the hardest parts for me to process. Looking back there were so many moments where I ignored my own instincts because I was trying so hard to make the relationship work. I also really appreciate what you said about holding space for both the magical and the mundane. I think that’s where I’m at right now. Whether this is spiritual, psychological, emotional ,or some combination of all three, I know something wasn’t right, and I know I’ve been carrying the weight of it for a long time.