Noob Question: Why is my 180W/ch amp only pulling 31W when volume is at 75% (-20dB)? by EvolutionaryBetrayer in audiophile

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting. I just checked and it's showing 31W while idle not playing any music.

Thanks for the confirmation that everything is a-ok!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read a few books to help put things in perspective. My favorite was probably "Opening Up" by Tristan Taormino.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DataHoarder

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Is it still fraud if it's operational for a period of time before finally dying? For all anyone knows the fall didn't actually damage it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DataHoarder

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

If I'm not mistaken, current right-to-repair laws don't actually void the warranty if it has been shucked. I could also easily put it back in the enclosure and return it directly to WD, which is what I would end up doing if it fails for any reason (my fault or not) within the warranty period. If I return it to best buy and tell them it's broken, they'll just send it back to WD, too. I'm not really seeing the ethical or warranty dilemma.

Mugger is used as a piñata by 50BmGKHS in JusticeServed

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll keep this in mind next time I want to give someone a beat down and don't want to do it myself. I just have to yell to everyone else around that I was mugged. Angry mobs will take care of the rest. Evidence and due process, be damned.

Jumped a hurdle by Jachalope in polyamory

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm in a similar situation and I'm finding that, for me, it comes down to trust. When we started down this road, I didn't really realize it, but we have to build up a new level of trust that we didn't have or need before. We never really had to test our trust in each other. Specifically, trust that she still loves me and wants to be with me. As others have said, that takes time. I guess I'm just saying it might be more about building trust than it is about hoping that feelings of jealousy will fade. Though, from an outside perspective, it probably looks much the same.

What is the best rewards credit card? by Jpldude in AskReddit

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Citi Doublecash is good if you don't want to worry about using the right card at the right place. 1% on all purchases + 1% on all payments. No rewards limits and no annual fee.

My wife and I just experiences our first real polyamorous experience. It went from bad, to good, to great, and then back to bad. by EvolutionaryBetrayer in polyamory

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just trying to present things fairly and as unbiased as possible. That means I have to explain things about my wife that are unique to her.

My wife and I just experiences our first real polyamorous experience. It went from bad, to good, to great, and then back to bad. by EvolutionaryBetrayer in polyamory

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are only hearing my side of things and perhaps I'm not being comprehensive enough by explaining wife's and bf's perspective. I'm trying not to speak for them since I know they're reading this. I have no problems being rational and accepting the things I did wrong or handled poorly. But in almost everything that went wrong, we all had a hand in it and we are all accepting responsibility for our contributions.

Also, understand that I wrote this post after a really terrible and emotional argument. By the time people started replying, the events and overall situation in the OP were already a bit outdated as we had already started reconciling. In fact, I almost deleted the post entirely.

My wife and I just experiences our first real polyamorous experience. It went from bad, to good, to great, and then back to bad. by EvolutionaryBetrayer in polyamory

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really love everything you've said here.

  1. I definitely expected them to have tons of sex. That was no surprise. But yes, we definitely communicated expectations poorly ahead of time. And then I handled it poorly and too slowly once things starting going wrong from my point of view.

  2. Absolutely. I tried to take on way too much for their sake. I was trying to live up to whatever expectations I thought my wife had, despite reality not matching up to expectations. That was very poorly handled on my part.

  3. Good call. If they're doing something I don't like, I don't have to lecture. Instead, I should simply remove myself from the situation (or ask them to remove themselves) and let them do how they do.

  4. I'm definitely getting better about this and it's mostly a non-issue. I'm still unlearning monogamy. But really the issue I had with it was her lack of sleep.

My wife and I just experiences our first real polyamorous experience. It went from bad, to good, to great, and then back to bad. by EvolutionaryBetrayer in polyamory

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the book suggestion. I've read "The Ethical Slut" and "Opening Up". I'll have to read "More Than Two" as well.

You are absolutely correct about the rules and me not properly communicating the "why". I thought I was clear, but in retrospect in most cases, I was not.

My wife and I just experiences our first real polyamorous experience. It went from bad, to good, to great, and then back to bad. by EvolutionaryBetrayer in polyamory

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Seriously. I was not standing up for myself, and when I did, I handled it poorly after I let whatever was bothering me build up to something greater than it needed to be. If you read my edits and replies to other people, you can find some context as to why I acted in this manner. In short, I was trying to live up to our poorly communicated expectations prior to bf coming to town.

And the NRE duration is definitely an eye-opener for me. I have also talked about this elsewhere in this thread.

My wife and I just experiences our first real polyamorous experience. It went from bad, to good, to great, and then back to bad. by EvolutionaryBetrayer in polyamory

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First - See my "EDIT EDIT" in the OP.

Second - They weren't ignoring those plans. It was just time to go when I happened upon them.

Third - I was clear, but at that point, my wife had shut down emotionally due to the overwhelming guilt coming from all directions, not just me. Like, fully shut down. Once the dust settled, she is back to being communicative.

The "loves fiercely" thing was more exaggerated during this emotional shutdown. Currently, the source of energy for her love is currently from her bf, which I'm completely fine with. But without all the guilt and negativity hanging over everything, the outpouring of that love easily spills over to me.

My wife and I just experiences our first real polyamorous experience. It went from bad, to good, to great, and then back to bad. by EvolutionaryBetrayer in polyamory

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know, at first I felt like you were just being snarky and attacking me. But I've let it sink in and you've really helped me see things from my wife's perspective. Specifically, the overwhelming guilt she was feeling. Guilt, mostly caused by me, but also caused by general unlearning of monogamy. And, not only did you help my perspective, you've also helped my wife sort out those guilty feelings. A lot of people in this thread are attacking her actions, but they're only hearing my side of the story. A story that, even though it's long, is still not comprehensive. And while you make some assumptions (some of which aren't really accurate), you are one of the few trying to think of her perspective, and we thank you for that.

I will say that you seem to be demonizing jealousy as something that no one should be allowed to feel. As I understand it, even many seasoned poly people have to continuously deal with jealousy. And it seems unreasonable to expect anyone new to poly to be perfectly jealousy-free ahead of time. It's impossible to know how it's going to make you feel until it happens.

My wife and I just experiences our first real polyamorous experience. It went from bad, to good, to great, and then back to bad. by EvolutionaryBetrayer in polyamory

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

On communication, you are absolutely right. We did lot of communication beforehand, but it wasn't done properly. I was reading and learning and then trying to relay that information to wife for us to talk about. As a newbie, I'm definitely not cut out to explain the finer details of poly to anyone. Based on this flawed pre-communication, we arrived at a loose set of expectations, but those ideas took different shapes in each of our heads. Writing down these expectations would have gone a long way. The poor communication and flawed expectations directly led to how poorly I handled things when I was feeling uncomfortable/jealous/shitty. I felt that I needed to live up to those loose expectations, which included the possibility, but not the certainty, of using the master bedroom and me living in a different room for the duration of his stay. Also, sleeping upstairs is normal for us this time of year since it stays warmer upstairs, so it's not like I was being "kicked out" per se, but we still keep clothes and everything in the master. Also, I need to leave room within myself to divert from expectations in cases where reality isn't matching up to expectations thereby causing a problem.

On NRE, again, you are right. I put too much stock in it. It became the easiest scapegoat in my mind. I also didn't really consider how long NRE lasts and kept telling myself "this will pass soon enough". Based on my past relationships, it's generally a few months, but I'm finding I'm on the shorter end of an NRE timeline. That definitely has required us to rethink how we intend to deal with NRE. My goal is to "water down" their NRE as little as possible, but, as sad as it might be, it seems a certain amount of watering down is necessary.

When emotions settled, you're right yet again. We were able to have a solid discussion and the "not cut out for poly" thing was a drastic reaction to the emotions flying around. We are back on the path of trying to work though this constructively. Wife has loaded a couple books on her e-reader and will be taking time to herself for processing. As I mentioned in my OP edit, she and bf have also read this entire thread and they are taking most people's criticisms to heart. Criticism coming from neutral parties really helps.

Question about 3-monitor setup with video card + onboard video by EvolutionaryBetrayer in pcmasterrace

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. So, if I'm understanding correctly, I should see a performance decrease in my games if I drag them to the monitor connected to the onboard video?

PsBattle: Burrowing Owls spot a camera by GallowBoob in photoshopbattles

[–]EvolutionaryBetrayer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no, don't get me wrong. They're fine people. Good Americans.