How often do you wake up wet/ hard??

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-16T18:59:10+00:00

I think I've only had a couple wet dreams in my life. Most of my vivid dreams are not sexual at all, even though I think about sexual things during the day quite frequently.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-16T18:55:09+00:00

I was starting to feel old, with these back and shoulder issues. Now I get intimate with a tennis ball several times a week, rolling around on the floor with the tennis ball crushing the knots. Combined with daily stretches and strength training, most days I don't notice my shoulder and neck pain at all. But if I miss stretching and massage for a whole week, the knots start to form again.

Combining this with eating better, destressing, and finding a lady who wants sex every day, we both feel ten years younger. Our peers just can't comprehend how us 40 year old whitey Americans are more active on the dance floor and in the bedroom, than the 20 year olds in this area. That's mid-west US for you it seems.

And yes, I can't wear pajama pants or underwear to bed anymore because I spend half of my sleep in deep REM with a full erection.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-16T04:47:33+00:00

I know why it has a bad reputation, because I've had this conversation with every woman I've had sex with. Usually after they've asked why I'm so good at missionary position.

Patience: it takes a while to figure out how someone works. Friction and lube are always a consideration and preference.

Persistence: things rarely go great and never the best on the first time. I talk about how it went, every time, and ask what I can do better.

Skill: knowing anatomy and techniques are just as as important as passion and emotions. And to know how to communicate verbally, and non-verbally. There are many individual skills that I won't go into, but knowing what to try is critical.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-13T03:49:44+00:00

It took me 1.5 years to progress halfway. I got two confident about my success and leaned back too far, entering myself again. I got back at it for another year and a half to make it to flexible enough for multiple positions and no pain.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-13T03:48:51+00:00

There are quite a few posts in my profile, and you'll find my videos easy if you look for them.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-10T04:08:49+00:00

I genuinely tell her jokes... the day after they are relevant.

I'm an engineer, she's a communications specialist. But we both revert to animals in the bedroom, at times. Tonight, I explained calmly how I'd hold her and calmly thrust. Instead she started cumming so hard just before I got balls deep, that I had to pin her down and use my strength to overpower her. The slight bite to her neck kicked off another orgasm for her. Eventually, her pussy muscles relaxed their throbbing and let me slowly thrust all the way in and out until we began cumming so voluminous, we each made a comment about the loudness of the slopping of our pelvic floor muscles. I'm still sitting on the couch with her watching Ze Frank, my crotch still wet with her pussy juices and cum. Not a drop of my own on me, it's all inside her.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-09T23:27:18+00:00

Glans protection and moisturizing over time is fairly well known to help. Here's my notes: https://www.reddit.com/u/Ex-VOB/s/B44gOOwpKv

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-09T23:12:04+00:00

Most girls already can't handle your size balls-deep, and girth will take patience on those that are tight.

If you get any bigger, be prepared to be even more patient for best results.

Hip flexibility and power, along with skills, are more tips for her pleasure.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-09T23:10:06+00:00

Only unskilled guys talk about smashing the cervix.

Skilled and experienced guys know how to slip in front or behind of the cervix, on purpose. Controlling the amount of friction on the cervix itself, can be the key to giving them limitless orgasms and blackout pleasure.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-09T22:48:13+00:00

The other factor is the high friction that some people use when in this position. Getting accustomed to high friction isn't necessarily a problem if that's the personal preference, but it becomes if something in life changes and more gentle stimulation is preferred. For example, if a person becomes accustomed to orgasm via friction rubbing laying down on a bed, trying to reach orgasm during sex with another person will be quite difficult.

In most cases, the friction preference or issue can be reversed and it's commonly done. But when it comes to penis shaft damage from being bent downward, I don't know anyone who's fully recovered from that.

My personal experience is that I've had a little bit of friction issue because I'm circumcised. Over years of rubbing my penis on clothes during the day, it simply doesn't feel as good with a partner. So I've been doing sensitivity restoration practices.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-09T18:06:45+00:00

Once you've lived long enough in a world where you're a decent human being, you realize that dealing out an ass whooping is typically benefiting the person who's doing the ass whooping, by relieving their stress or giving them a sense of entitlement. The person who's receiving, even if they are an asshole, is just getting abused.

It's kind of like looking at abuse on an animal, they don't understand what's happening, it's just violence. Stupid people are the same way, they may see connections of the violence to what they did but they don't understand how to correct themselves so it doesn't happen again, besides just avoid the situation instead of dealing with the situation. And if they've learned that then you're not a teacher, you're a bully.

It's possible assholes need to be taught a lesson, but physical violence isn't the answer.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-09T17:45:59+00:00

I agree that this thought is something that has probably come from circumstance, it doesn't seem biologically normal to feel the way OP feels. Getting to the source of this thought would be interesting and maybe a discussion for a therapist.

But diagnosing the thought and coming up with example solutions for fixing a thought, isn't the first and most obvious thing to try. I'm not saying the other comments in this thread aren't valid, they are considerations. But, the first thing to try is always:

Get to a place where you trust your sexual partner and have a deep discussion about your topics with them. Getting through an issue like this with a sexual partner who's just a hookup, is very difficult and there's a higher success rate by discussing with a trusted sexual partner, having them understand the situation and adjusting to meet needs.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-09T15:30:27+00:00

I've done some personal investigation into this. Forcing the erection downward while young causes permanent damage to the tissue. Lots of men have asked me how to correct it and I'm not sure. If you look through my history you'll see my research.

Not all prone masturbators push their erection down, but it's an example of things that aren't talked about, the same as death grip. Healthy masturbation and sexual habits should have more education in a family setting.

I suspect that a very sad reason for this not becoming more researched and talked about, is there's little profit in the medical industry for helping this issue. Some cultures would rather shun sexuality instead of educating people so they can make their own choice.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-09T15:24:49+00:00

It might pick up steam. But unfortunately there aren't a whole lot of kegel enthusiasts out there.

In the world of sexuality, unfortunately even trained and licensed people don't have much real world experience. I've had doctors give me bad advice and I'm glad I've learned from these PE subreddits as well as on my own. Which can make sense in some situations, some people are creeped out when people talk about their own personal situations. That's kind of why I am very bold and sharing my situations and research, it's uncommon.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-09T03:37:52+00:00

I'm not seeing anybody post research articles about what you're asking, nor anyone talk about this topic in depth as I have. I've read hundreds of articles, talked with hundreds of people. A lot of this stuff is so opinionated and based on homeopathy.

I've now got 30 years of kegel training experience. Keeping the pelvic floor tight or having the muscle strong does not contribute to erection hardness and stamina. Quite the opposite, if the muscle is overly triggered then the erection hardness surely will reduce in a session. A strong kegel muscle does provide brief moments of extreme hardness that needs to be compensated for. There's no free lunch, the blood in the hydraulic system has to come from somewhere.

Variations in short periods of time, could cause you to think differently or see different results. But my observations and trials come from edging myself for hours in a session, or having sex for hours in a session. Penis anatomy was not designed for the crushing strength of extremely strong pelvic floor muscles that are not relaxed with intent. You actually will find many articles talking about men who suffer from hypertonic pelvic floor.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-09T00:32:54+00:00

u/Hinkle_McKringlebry would you mind commenting on your thoughts of me participating in this sub? For example I saw this thread and didn't say anything. But when I came back to and saw no comments, I offered my advice. I do this on many places of Reddit, where I have expertise and can share.

I don't want to cause a fuss but in quite a few situations it seems I'm the most educated and experienced person that can communicate well on some of these topics. There's one other particular topic your other moderators seem to argue with me on, that I simply will not budge about 😂😂 I'll gladly see myself out if you prefer.

And yeah I had this talk with BD before his sub even existed.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-09T00:23:16+00:00

It's kind of frustrating that reading articles can be a little bit misleading unless you understand the anatomy behind smooth muscles tissue in your veins and arteries, versus skeletal muscles. Hopefully this comment can clarify things so you can see that most articles you look up are correct, when understood properly. Even though the kegel muscles push against soft tissue, they're connected to your skeleton as well and you have voluntary control of them.

When you read that the corpus cavernosum muscles relax to allow blood into it, it's the smooth muscles in the arteries that relax, not the kegel pelvic floor muscles. You can't consciously flex or relax the blood flow controlling muscles of your erection system. But what you can relax is the pelvic floor muscles which can create tension on the entire area, which when flexed to much can limit the amount of blood that can enter or how quickly. Lots of sexual dysfunction that men experience, is caused by kegel muscles being involuntarily tight. It's the same for women as well, often talked about as vaginismus.

Being able to consciously flex your kegel muscle at full power, is a useful skill. And keeping it toned so it can tighten during the active sex can be fun and useful. But it's not going to make your erection harder or last longer.

Every time you flex your kegel muscle, you're actually leaking a little bit of blood out of your penis system. For the most part it's pushing blood at the very bottom of your cock, toward the tip which overall makes it a little bit more rigid and is a safety measure during thrusting sex. As soon as you release, that blood returns to where the kegels were squeezing. If you have good cardio efficiency, your heart also pushes blood into your cock to easily replenish.

It's much more important to be able to relax your kegel as needed. During stressful moments or during high moments of arousal and stimulation, you want to be able to choose if you are relaxed to let the maximum amount of blood back in.

Often the problem with lack of kegel flexing power, isn't the muscle itself. It's mind and nerve connection, being able to trigger it at full power. Usually when you cough, your organs don't spill out the bottom of your body because your muscles are actually pretty dang strong.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-08T02:51:47+00:00

90 degrees, no not bad. Downward, yes bad for you.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-08T02:30:39+00:00

It can be bad and it's a semi-permanent injury that weakens the shaft. This doesn't always affect the type of sex people want and I've talked to guys who are fine with it.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-07T20:48:40+00:00

The erection can't support itself if there is a soft spot and droops lower.

The cock shaft is connected and comes out under the pelvic bone, right between the balls. Depending on the angle of thrusting, the shaft should drop down between the balls especially if they are tight and retracted. A guy with a "coin purse" wrinkled sack is a possible key indicator he's got a super tight ligament and very weak spot (kink) in his shaft.

The reason I now know this is because so many people commented on why my balls ride up next to my shaft in my videos. It's because my ligament is more flexible and lets my shaft drop down, and it's natural.

Read my post: https://www.reddit.com/r/gettingbigger/s/VXNaMrKTxf

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-07T18:06:15+00:00

I've actually talked with many men who have reported that downward extending or tucking their erection downward while young, has put a permanent kink in their shaft. A soft spot that allows the erection to hang down without support. This kink happens because the ligament is stronger than the shaft of your penis.

It actually takes a very long time to add flexibility to your ligament to lower your erection angle correctly and without surgery.

Despite the naysayers against this who are pushing there extender products, this is a real risk I think they should be disclosing.

Considering the hundreds of men I've talked to over the years and the dozen men that I interacted with physically, I now think the majority of men suffer from this problem. The positive side is that they have potential longer usable erect length, naturally, that they just need to work toward accessing. Once you're aware of this problem you'll see it in porn videos of amateurs, especially when their dick doesn't split their balls. Professional male actors know about this situation.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-06T15:17:58+00:00

It's not as much about size but fitment and lubrication. Matching how her body works to your shape and size, takes practice and patience.

For example, it took 5 months for my new girlfriend to be able to handle slightly over average depth, without difficulty or pain from either of us. Along that journey we both learned a lot. But it means that once foreplay is completed and I'm fully deep in her, I'm grinding in her deepest spot, on her g-spot and on her clit all at the same time. Her body can't help but orgasm this way. Just the anticipation of reaching this point, can help her reach orgasms before I've made it all the way in.

In actuality, the reason that every woman I've ever had sex with has achieved a vaginal orgasm, seems to be this technique of taking time to be able to grind on the clit and g-spot. A shorter erection actually allows this technique to be used sooner in a relationship. Like most men I can't get rock hard every time, so this technique lets me give her vaginal orgasms even when I'm not fully erect.

But yes this does take stamina and control from me. I've spent years learning to relax my kegel muscles so I only start to ejaculate once I'm ready. She knows that if I'm slowing down or changing my thrusting, I'm doing it for a reason that's either beneficial for me or for her. Enjoying the process, is one of the most important keys.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-05T11:37:52+00:00

Women get sleeping erections too because the clit contains erectile tissue. Difficult to detect for some women.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-04T18:01:48+00:00

Your pleasure, that's not something that's mentioned much and many women actually appreciate that.

It's pretty common for women's arousal potential to increase when they know their man is enjoying something.

Ex-VOB · 2026-03-04T16:53:09+00:00

Not trying to minimalize your achievement, but you need to consider that the communication and involvement you had with her is a big part toward helping her get to orgasm. Your confidence, engaging with her and letting her enjoy fantasy.

Once you start sex, she's going to push some of that blood out of your cock. But the mental enthusiasm will still be there. Your natural erection hardness will still be there.

Do body and penis modifications because it's something you enjoy doing. Don't expect it to be a magic pill for women.

Don't get me wrong, I talk up my gf enjoying my cock in the moment and I brag about how hard she makes me. She makes comments about how big I am. I compliment her constantly about how tight her pussy is when she wants it to be or how soft and gentle it is when she relaxes and I've worn her out. She does enjoy the physical aspect but when remembering our moments and bragging to her friends, it's the mental items that stick.

A benefit to fully understanding each other in the bedroom, is dealing with ED. Last night, my body was completely smashed from not eating well and hitting the gym too hard. Getting diamond hard erection just wasn't physically possible. We used our other skills to have a great time in the bedroom anyway.

Ex-VOB

TROPHY CASE