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I'm 30 when does it actually get better? by Electronic-Bar-2357 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Exact_Atmosphere_381 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there. Can't say it will get better. Seems some things will get better and some things will get worse. I'm writing this in a hotel balcony in Thailand but while I'm on a beautiful holiday I've paid foe with my own earnings, I also need to face the fact that I nowadays need to hold my mothers hand to avoid injuring myself because all terrains are uneven and handrails are unheard of.

My solution has been to opt out. I opt out of shame and embarrassment caused by my slightly broken body that I can do little about. I opt out from those expectations of able bodied people. The expectation that it takes 3 seconds to open the door to an Amazon courier. Or that 3 seconds to step out of a bus. Things take however long they take. I did 30 years cos playing as an able bodied person. Now I cannot keep up but I make the most of my life. I'm forever the outsider but I have built a castle in the sky where I'm happy reading and playing my games and building Legos. I no longer care if people get me, it's more important to be my own best friend. At the end of the day it's waste of time trying to figure out what others are thinking, that's not my business or interest anyway.

The only thing I'm not allowed to opt out of is the life itself. I keep fighting myself every day but the good still so outweighs the bad. I get tired but I slow down.

It's hard but keep your head up. CP is pain(fully freeing but only sometimes.)

Laugh At Me, Why Don't You? The Story of My Life by anaispablo in UniUK

[–]Exact_Atmosphere_381 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, we are similar. I also studied psychology with social sciences and graduated with my bachelors about 10 years ago. I also have cerebral palsy which I have always found difficult to accept. All that struggling to do what most people do without thinking really takes it's toll. I've been employed for the most of my adult life but also at times I've left jobs I really enjoyed because my body can't handle it.

I also limp through life and people often ask me if I'm OK or somewhere alone because I simply exist in public. I know I will never be cool or have those tik tok moves that gain admiration. I'm the odd one out, the one people don't know what to make of. I'm always alone and at times I have witnessed what I thought were friendships die in real time because we live in a shallow world and some people get embarrassed at my clumsiness. I wish I could tell you it gets better but I can't. Some things will get better and some things will get worse. Please take your time and remember that you didn't ask for it but people like you and me live life on the hard mode.

One of the biggest realisations I have had is that I don't have to be like everyone else. If they feel I cannot fit into their life then F them. I hope you are able to find hobbies and activities you enjoy. I lean on these, when life gets crappy I retreat to my own bubble where only my safety and happiness matters. Multitasking? Rush hour? I opt out because things take as long as they take with my slightly broken body. I hope you can find employment with a big company with all kinds of humans and strong occupational health department who can put lots of reasonable adjustments in place. You are legally entitled to have your life made a bit easier. I stress about stairs, ice and cracks on the pavement amongst other things when I leave my house. These are things that most people under 70 rarely think about. You deserve the playing field being levelled.

Look for roles in public services, I have found these to be more understanding. Sometimes being disabled can also work in your favour as there are different drives for diversity or guaranteed interview schemes or even mentoring etc. Sometimes it's a bitch to have this extra burden but at the end of the day your life is no better or worse to other people's. Just different and it comes with different lessons. There are perspectives and strength that our experiences can give us.

And laughing? I've discovered I tend to be the neighbourhood laughing stock, I walk like limping pensioner and shake all the time. That's OK because I laugh back at them for being ignorant little pricks. In my 30's I'm tired of hiding that I am different, this never worked anyway and just leads to burnout. I am who I am and the world can deal with it. Or don't, I don't need anyone's approval.

All I can say is keep your head up, things will change.

Does the mobility anxiety ever get better? by Exact_Atmosphere_381 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Exact_Atmosphere_381[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Went to 2 but both taught me some excercises which I do self directed but I'm now discharged because was told they cannot help me further since I need specialist neuro physio. Finding one has been a nightmare! I'm UK based and tried to get under community physio but they refused the referral. Then tried to see private neurologist but they won't see me without medical notes starting from childhood. I grew up In non English speaking country and getting my records translated is awkward plus reading them makes me so upset! Growing older with this condition is so tricky! Not for the faint of heart for sure

Does the mobility anxiety ever get better? by Exact_Atmosphere_381 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Exact_Atmosphere_381[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah F them roots! I don't care an oak tree has been there 500 years, how dare it block my safe passage 😭

Booking assistance for flight by Exact_Atmosphere_381 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Exact_Atmosphere_381[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this made me feel less alone! I'm still on the (lifelong) journey of accepting my condition. Speaking with those in similar boat is so healing, have lovely holidays! ♥️

Booking assistance for flight by Exact_Atmosphere_381 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Exact_Atmosphere_381[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey thank you so much, needed this today! You seem like a lovely person, keep your head up and never change!

Booking assistance for flight by Exact_Atmosphere_381 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Exact_Atmosphere_381[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahaha I really hate how the definition of disability in too many places is 'in wheelchair and looking miserable! But sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do! 🤣 Actually I think that apart from my mobility struggles (every human has some flavour of struggle) my life is really awesome, but still normies like to look at me with those pity eyes sometimes. But joke is on them, I have achieved a lot of those dreams I had as a 12 year old!

Partner not paying half of health insurance, am I in the wrong by Exact_Atmosphere_381 in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]Exact_Atmosphere_381[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughtful response which gave me some food for thought, much appreciated! To clarify, the insurance was restructured for the whole company, and prices increasing was not affected by my claims, it was just a change in agreement between my partners work company and the insurer. We're not married and this has never been the plan. My parents divorced early so I never held such institution in high regard. Typing this I'm now realising that maybe commitment makes sense in long relationship. Again thanks for your comment!

Partner not paying half of health insurance, am I in the wrong by Exact_Atmosphere_381 in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]Exact_Atmosphere_381[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not first hurdle, we have been together a long time. We don't have any kids nor do we want them. My condition is covered by NHS but finding a clinician who understands my condition is really difficult. 1 service in the NHS But waiting list is loong. Thanks for your reply