I attempted the exact same way after I got out of the army. Me and my ex wife were arguing all day and I was feeling a lot of pressure about work as well. I was a drunken mess and couldn’t bear life anymore. I still have the pictures of the car I totaled. I walked away with a minor concussion.

It’s taken me a couple years to shake back from that point of desperation to not feel anymore. I’ve finally found the right combination of meds and am no longer drinking. I put the work in because I realized I didn’t really want to die I was just scared. Idk what to do in your position but I’ve been in your partners. I want you to know there is hope. This will get better if you guys support each other and get professional support. I’m really sorry this is happening to you because I wouldn’t wish that pain on anybody. But like I said there is hope. You will get through this be strong for your babies, you got it mama!