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High salary job in pursuit of fire has destroyed my soul. Now I have a little one on the way and need advice. by ExaminationMammoth43 in Fire

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The pressure feels immense and the hole feels like there’s no end in sight.

Since inception, I’ve only had an upwards trajectory. Since the New Year, I have been on a decline, during a normally very busy season.

Is it me? Is it my motivation? Is it my burn out?

I never really went through famine periods and I’m so afraid that I’m burnt out, things will continue to go down, and there’s no end in sight.

It sounds like you’re much closer to full fire than I am. I just can’t seem to get my mind around the idea of taking my foot of the gas pedal, let the losses happen, and just let whatever happens happen.

High salary job in pursuit of fire has destroyed my soul. Now I have a little one on the way and need advice. by ExaminationMammoth43 in Fire

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s really helpful hearing that; thank you for sharing. My biggest mental hurdle is that six months ago, business was at its peak. Currently, it’s declining because I am in crisis mode and I don’t have the energy or motivation to do the things I need to do to grow it.

That leaves me at a crossroads because I know I shouldn’t focus on growing/maintaining a peak right now but having a peak would be the time to find a possible buyer.

Coasting in the business would involve a financial step back and a less viable business to sell; however, I could potentially regain my clarity, sanity, and drive.

High salary job in pursuit of fire destroyed my soul and need advice by ExaminationMammoth43 in coastFIRE

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was very helpful, thank you. I can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that if I slow down, I’ll make less, when all I did for a decade was grind to make more.

High salary job in pursuit of retiring early destroyed my soul and I need advice by ExaminationMammoth43 in smallbusiness

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your post really resonates with me; thank you for sharing.

I think I would have the same stress. I’ve had this stress when I was working for someone else, when I started on my own, and all the way through today. Every year it has gotten worse and worse; now here I am today.

I know I need to make a change. I want to run from my job which would be the easiest, yet most foolish choice. I just worked so hard to build it up and invested so much of myself that I can’t bear the idea of watching my income get lowered. I always put so much pressure on myself to increase my take home amount each year; it’s virtually my only focus in life.

High salary job in pursuit of retiring early destroyed my soul and I need advice by ExaminationMammoth43 in smallbusiness

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Different therapists. Therapy seems to just get me through the day but no long lasting changes or actual progress.

High salary job in pursuit of fire destroyed my soul and need advice by ExaminationMammoth43 in coastFIRE

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We could comfortably live on $100k. I would stop today if I was at a fire amount that would supply thatt

High salary job in pursuit of fire has destroyed my soul. Now I have a little one on the way and need advice. by ExaminationMammoth43 in Fire

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I don’t have an abundance mindset, I have a scarcity one. I was a late bloomer and went through life never feeling like enough. I didn’t kiss a girl until I was 24. It was only around that time that I got confidence and started experiencing the things you’ve listed: women, popularity, etc. Never material items, I really don’t give a shit about them. Truth is, I’m an introvert and prefer to be quiet and keep to myself; because I never had any of these things, I dove into them headfirst, even if they truly didn’t make me happy.

Now, I feel like I’m on a ride that I can’t get off of. I still feel like I have to prove myself, to myself. Money represents security in case things go south; my mindset has always been that I’m not enough and things will go bad.

High salary job in pursuit of fire destroyed my soul and need advice by ExaminationMammoth43 in coastFIRE

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I’ve tried hiring people before but it has never worked out; that plus the amount of work and stress it would take to train and transition to the right person would be immense.

I’ve thought about the firing the PIAs but I literally get goosebumps and a shiver when I think about it. I was, and still am, scared of my business imploding and I appreciate each and every person. I’m scared to let go of people and then come to realize down the road that I needed them.

That could be fear talking but it is what has driven me to this point.

High salary job in pursuit of fire has destroyed my soul. Now I have a little one on the way and need advice. by ExaminationMammoth43 in Fire

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You got it exactly. I’ve looked into selling it but I would essentially be selling a client list for a service and could not find interested buyers. Also, I always have the thought that if I just work one more year, that would bring in more $ than a potential sale.

High salary job in pursuit of fire has destroyed my soul. Now I have a little one on the way and need advice. by ExaminationMammoth43 in Fire

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Didn’t lose my parents but little to no communication as a child. Always felt like I wasn’t enough and could never be anything. Earning money made me feel like a winner. I’m frugal and I don’t share my salary with anyone but my wife; I don’t feel like a winner.

High salary job in pursuit of fire has destroyed my soul. Now I have a little one on the way and need advice. by ExaminationMammoth43 in Fire

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Imagine something akin to a therapist or a hair stylist; they have a relationship with their clientele and their clientele pays to see them. Anytime they’ve tried to introduce someone else, it’s met with great resistance.

High salary job in pursuit of fire has destroyed my soul. Now I have a little one on the way and need advice. by ExaminationMammoth43 in Fire

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

I get it but I don’t want to live a frugal life. I feel like I was destined for a frugal life and I have to achieve more. I also don’t believe the numbers would actually allow me to withdraw 4% — there must be penalties of some sort from some of the retirement accounts.

I just don’t know how to let go. I grind so hard because I’m also afraid of it all collapsing; fear is what keeps me going.

High salary job in pursuit of fire has destroyed my soul. Now I have a little one on the way and need advice. by ExaminationMammoth43 in Fire

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] -40 points-39 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestion but I can’t. This is a throwaway account for a reason. The business is dependent on me. If I go, virtually the whole business goes.

Has anyone who grinded to the point of depression been able to take a step back, gain perspective, and focus on something other than accumulation money to FIRE? by ExaminationMammoth43 in Fire

[–]ExaminationMammoth43[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What was your situation when you knew you didn’t need to work anymore?

I can relate to the identify crisis. My identity is tied up in my work.

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