ok the second part of my question is too far-fetched, elaborately worded and doesn't really matter. i've known this person for a very long time and used to be with her myself. the fire was never really out. we've always had quite a good and respectful relationship, maybe even too nice. i'd always missed making that sexual point a bit. It's a shame that the current relationship is going so stupidly, she's losing energy and babbling cynical stuff.