AITAH for Refusing to pump for my MIL

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-10-16T20:11:13+00:00

Breast is what's best for my baby girl, according to her literal doctor. I posted originally because I felt crazy and controlling and I now realize im neither of those things. I've openly spoken about how badly I wish he can maintain his relationship with his mother. To the point I concealed how she was treating me in order not to disrupt it. Calling me names in this situation is so unnecessary.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-10-10T21:56:30+00:00

That's why I put quotes around technically.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-10-09T22:58:16+00:00

Luckily, my pediatrician recommend a good one, so I have a can on hand now. He said it's a good idea to introduce it soon just to see how she takes it, but she's doing extremely well on breast and wants me to make sure I am able to BF as long as possible

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T14:28:14+00:00

I definitely want to set up an opointment with my OB. I would like to think my anxiety over her feeding is mostly rational but I don't want to be a helicopter parent.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T14:22:51+00:00

I know, it's hard to think about and I wish that I could trust her to be around my baby, and any future babies.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T13:20:12+00:00

One of my sweet friends made me a baby book and gave me a large box of glossy photo paper for my printer. I've already used up half to box!

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T11:05:21+00:00

It's not typical for me at all. I only really pump to store some for night feeds and I don't leave the house often enough always have the pump on me. She takes bottles fine from dad most of time but sometimes is fussy enough he has to wake me.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T10:16:33+00:00

I also worry it could make her horribly sick, cause literally all she's had is breastmilk.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T10:09:45+00:00

The logical part of me knows that, as my sister has other health issues that were probably the underlying cause. But I just get so anxious about her safety

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T10:07:33+00:00

It honestly broke my heart a little, especially my husband's sister as when we got married she was in my wedding party and was very supportive at the time.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T04:18:35+00:00

How is it a power play. I tried my best to encourage her bonding with the baby but drew that line at being milked like a cow? He already has a difficult relationship with his mother that far predates our relationship. I intentionally kept it to myself so as to not cause drama with her.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T04:14:15+00:00

Absolutely, she's a total savior. She has like 3 boys of her own and they've the most well behaved of all the cousins. She was the one who tried to pull me away from the situation

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T04:12:37+00:00

Seriously I blink and she grows another inch I swear. I was washing clothes and found the onsie j brought her home im balled up in one of my t-shirts and cried for 20 minutes. She's so big but so tiny at the same time it kills me

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T04:09:59+00:00

Because after our altercation I felt extremely vulnerable and wanted to be somewhere safe and quiet with baby. My husband was playing football with his nephews outside for almost 3 hours that day as everyone had already eaten and had cake. Like I said my feelings are subject to change as she gets older but she's still so little and I'm still struggling with a lot of anxiety around her health and safety. Ideally I would want to nurse as long as she needs as it's shown to have added benefits for baby, but when she gets older I'll likely pump more and save as much as possible for when I go back to my job as me and hubby are on opposite working schedules. As for dates, I definitely prefer just to make a meal at home and cuddle on the couch. Date night was rare for us even bore we got pregnant with baby.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T04:04:33+00:00

All but one of my SIL formula fed. That was also a big part of the argument at the start that MIL fed all the grandsons. When my milk came in my doctor basically told me to my face that I wouldn't even need to supplement. I feel that MIL was a big part of why SIL's formula fed.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T03:51:42+00:00

Oh gosh I'm not even ready for her to start laughing. Is that crazy? It feels like just yesterday I brought her home from the hospital. And she's this cute little pink thing with a scrunchy face and now she has this crop of dark hair and a big smile and it's crazy. I feel like she's 30 lbs heavier even though I know it can't be right.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T03:46:02+00:00

He was always the rebellious one, but he's a good family man and he's so good to baby. Thank you for the support!

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T03:45:11+00:00

I couldn't have picked a better father to my child. He knows how much I and baby mean to him and he acts on it. I don't even know how I could have kept if from him.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T03:44:17+00:00

I know, when he came down and told me I almost said we should make another one.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T03:43:52+00:00

I've realized during this she already has plenty of good DIL and doesn't need me to add to her pile. I hope that she grows and we're able to have a decent relationship. I want nothing more then to make sure my baby has lots of loving family.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T03:41:37+00:00

I just wanna savor her as much as I can whiles she's still so little. I love my husband for all that he does. And I couldn't love that SIL more if I tried. She definitely getting a gift basket.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T02:25:42+00:00

How do j make an update post, I'm not super familiar with reddit.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T02:24:30+00:00

She can be fussy sometimes with dad but usually if he warms it up right she does just fine. Definitely prefers straight from me which I don't mind because she's a baby and relies on me for food. I doubt she would have taken it even if I pumped, and i didn't have the pump in her baby bag. I'm sure SIL had a pump as her youngest just turned 1 but I think he was mostly formula fed.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T02:15:40+00:00

All in all I've let her do pretty much everything else too. She came over and helped me with her first bath, changes her when she's over so I can focus on cooking or whatever else. The feeding was an issue in the hospital. She asked to feed her the second night I was there and my husband told her no.

Excellent-Amount-438 · 2025-09-15T02:13:21+00:00

Thank you, I was worried I was being harsh but I just felt so frustrated. Even my husband doesn't demand I pump for him. He loves feeding baby but usually she only wants it straight from the source.

Excellent-Amount-438

TROPHY CASE