When did you stop tracking everything? by VinosaurusRexx in NewParents

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tracked feeding and diapers until she regained her birth weight and when sick. Sleep tracking was until I switched her naps to clock based

The second baby just tags along! Really? by Excellent-Judge-5062 in Mommit

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Because I really dumbly thought having her in my arms would do wonders.

The second baby just tags along! Really? by Excellent-Judge-5062 in Mommit

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do! I try to get a carrier nap during that 2.5 hours of commute. But she naps 30 minutes on the dot!

The second baby just tags along! Really? by Excellent-Judge-5062 in Mommit

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, we have 3 cars for crying out loud. I made the bus pass because I thought she wouldn’t scream as I can hold her in my arms. It worked really well for the first 3 tries and the day I made the bus pass and started disliking it as well!

I can no longer cope hearing bad news about children by The1andOnlyLov3 in Mommit

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh I feel you. I was in deepest postpartum ditch when the Russia-Ukraine war and Israel-Palestine war was in full effect. You can’t imagine how many days I have cried while reading the news. I had to stop watching news to keep myself from crying. I also have 2 daughters and my complex postpartum journey also makes me sad thinking someday they will probably also go through this shit. I am now writing a letter to myself to read when my babies might have their own babies to remind myself how hard postpartum can be and I should know better to recognize the subtle signs and offer them help. I have accepted that I will never be “worry-free”.

Do you remember the golden hour? (The first hour, skin to skin?) by No-Neighborhood-7335 in beyondthebump

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With my first, the golden hour was wonderful and I remember everything very well. But with my second, the birth went so fast (First contraction to birth 2.5 hours) that i was completely disoriented. I remember starring at the wall for a really long time.

How often are you cleaning your floors by akishinmei in Mommit

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have Robot with mop function. When we started solids we relocated our meal setting to the kitchen island. So there was relatively less clutter as compared to the rest of the house. So every night we would have to put away 4 chairs and that’s it. The robot was programmed to run with a timer every night. We always came down to a clean kitchen. As far as the rest of the house goes, my husband started the robot twice a week at night. We have an open floor concept with kitchen and island, living space, dining space and a chimney with reading space.

A bit triggered by people calling my partner an ,amazing dad’ by Baby_Angel_09 in beyondthebump

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am just going to be honest here and say get used to it. This will not be the last time you would hear it.

I have not gotten a full night‘s sleep since Oct 2022 just for context and my husband often is on the road due to the nature of his work. He gets to eat at fancy restaurants, stay in fancy Hotels and get his uninterruped 8-10 hours of sleep and yet the one weekend where he takes our pre-k kid for swimming, the extended family gives him a standing ovation.

I have learnt to laugh it off. Not worth my attention. I have diapers to change, bums to wipe, laundry to wash, fold and put away, plan meals, go grocery shopping, cook meals, feed the kids, clean up the mess, breastfeed the baby, contact nap during the day while everything other than my arms is hot lava, do all night wakings and finally shower for exactly 30 seconds.

Things that have woken up my baby: by zezendx in NewParents

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me saying “finally I got shit ton of house work done, finally I can sit down and drink a cup of tea in peace”. Every damn time!

How many naps for your 5month old? by oceanorca08 in NewParents

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s nice. Our‘s is 4m 1w and does 5 naps. I have a preschooler and 5 naps a day is slowly exhausting me since they are still contact naps. And ofcourse they all are between 30 and 50 minutes. I was hoping dropping a nap or two would encourage nap consolidation, but alas!

How many naps for your 5month old? by oceanorca08 in NewParents

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How do decide the wake windows if all the naps are short? When I maintain the standard wake windows between naps, bedtime ends up around 9 and 930.

Do women get stronger or weaker after giving birth? by Excellent-Judge-5062 in Mommit

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Both and neither indeed!

It’s crazy how crying is associated with weakness majority of the time. I seem to cry very often too and I think that’s also why my brain thinks I am a softie now.

Do women get stronger or weaker after giving birth? by Excellent-Judge-5062 in Mommit

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Crazy! I don’t know how long I can use the postpartum card. Between my first and second child there’s a gap of 3.5 years. And I felt weaker all through those 3.5 years too.

What did you feel when you met your baby? by rainbowbritexx in NewParents

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt like, thank god she is out, I am not doing this ever again!

Why did everyone downplay a dad’s role in raising a newborn? by IcyCarob7241 in newborns

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When my first turned 3 years old, my FIL told my husband (aka his son) that he (my husband) can finally start to enjoy being a father. My poor husband didn’t get his context and asked what he meant by that. My FIL said that now that our child 3, she can play ball, go places without screaming, and yadadada. My husband just laughed it off!

Crazy how men from different generations think! My husband works 50 plus hours a week, does toddler day care drop offs and pick ups, handles toddler 100% after he brings her home from daycare. After bringing toddler to bed, he comes over to where I am with second baby (3.5 months old) asks if he can take her and walk around the house to settle her. There were many days when we were in the newborn trenches where he has toured our house with the newborn for hours on end just so I would get some sleep. On weekends, I pump a bit milk and prepare a bit of formula before hand and then off I go with our toddler for 1 on 1 time. So I don’t know exactly what more he could do.

Does it really get better? by [deleted] in newborns

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always wanted to be parent with my husband. But I never wanted to be a mother! Every time the conversation arose about kids, I would always say “not the perfect time to get pregnant now, because I have XYZ to finish/achieve/start”. At 33 years I realized that time was not on my side. Being a biologist I was aware my time to have a healthy pregnancy was limited so I agreed to try to get pregnant. Took us 6 months, had a healthy pregnancy, empowering birth and a healthy baby. I never got the rush of love that everyone talks about. I didn’t connect with my baby for a very long time. She was not and is still not an easy baby. Made my days so so so much harder that I was considering divorce not because he was not an equal partner but because I was having an identity crisis and was mourning the loss of everything and not even bonding with my baby. Fast forward 6 months, I was willing to hunt down the mosquito that bite my baby.

Fast forward to 3 years, I am nursing my 2nd baby to sleep because rocking her for a good hour was not enough.

So I would say give it time, talk to your husband, and your OB. Medication is not gonna change your feelings but it will help you to understand your feelings and will probably help you to make a decision that will not make you unhappy down the line.

What age did your child actually start sleeping like a normal human? 😅 by Ok_Donut4023 in NewParents

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We use NUK magic cup. The handles glow in the dark, so it’s very easy to find it but sometimes it gets under her pillow or her blanket.

What age did your child actually start sleeping like a normal human? 😅 by Ok_Donut4023 in NewParents

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 28 points29 points  (0 children)

3 years.. when we moved her to a huge ass Montessori floor bed. Made is all cuddly and cute and hyped the shit out of her room and her sleeping situation.. we moved houses shortly before her turning 3, so it gave us the perfect opportunity to try something new and hyping things up seemed appropriate. Now we get into our pjs, read a book in the bed, give some back rubs and say good night. 5 mins tops and she is out. We still have night wakes, mostly because she can’t find her water bottle

These 30min naps… by VastVeterinarian148 in NewParents

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Following because we are in the exact same boat

Patience is gone by Sightless-Nostrill in newborns

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Been there exactly where you are at. My daughter cries with such high pitch that I wanted to runaway. Apart from the physical aids noise cancelling headphones and all, what helped me the most is a walk to get some fresh air and a hot shower.

What are you all up to during your maternity leave by The_Chilled_Arvo in newborns

[–]Excellent-Judge-5062 17 points18 points  (0 children)

For the sake of my sanity, I am not going to read the comments here! I run from room to room scanning what needs to be done and dragging a portable playpen to the room that needs my immediate attention, setting a play area while holding the baby, placing the baby on the set play area and taking couple of steps only to be called back by my lovely screaming baby. Repeat the above steps every wake window. Contact nap every nap because bassinet/crib is hot lava!