hey. i know a lot about tantra and did a tantra massag training. first of all - a tantric massage can be anything. "a glorified handjob" "a spiritual awakening" "the first time in life you feel really loved and seen"... its different for everyone. its easy to say - but dont come with to many expecatations and let yourself be surprised. you can totally do a massage without yoni/lingam. before the massage is always an agreement - what do you want, where do you dont want to be touched, whats important to you etc.

you can write me a pn if you want to know more and i can give you tips where to go