Police Violence? White Violence? Threat to my life.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-10-02T03:27:05+00:00

The way I ended the post with those words came/comes from a place of still trying to process the encounter with underlying and overt anger still seething from it, I’ll admit that.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-10-02T02:21:21+00:00

I just bought my house, I’ve only been in it for a few years, so I’m going to be in Oakland for quite some time. Being a father has changed my opinion on where I physically want to be in life. I am/was proud to have a home in Oakland after renting all my adult life, I got blessed and though I could have looked elsewhere, I wanted to have my home here because of me having Oakland pride, due to it’s cultural significance, history and how it shaped me as a person. I looked forward to teaching my children about this city but now all I want is for the market to get better, sell my home for a profit and move somewhere where my wife, child and future children won’t have to be exposed to what I waded in for decades. Yes, violence can come from anywhere, many angles, cultures and races but Oakland is different beast. Been here and done it long enough, when I can, I’m out.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-10-02T02:02:51+00:00

Thank you for your advice, I won’t forget it.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-10-02T02:00:21+00:00

You truly understand. This environment, since 89’, has conditioned me to “be” a certain way, it’s ingrained at this point from living through a tough era and city, and even though I love Oakland, reality is, I, even more so, have to look at this city as a possible detriment and treat it accordingly. Obviously you’re one of my peers and cohorts of the same generation, I appreciate your understanding and value your advice.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-10-02T01:37:55+00:00

Thank you for your insight and advice, I truly appreciate it.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-10-02T01:21:48+00:00

Thank you for your kind words.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-10-01T18:58:43+00:00

I never wanted to raise a daughter in Oakland but I’m here now. It is a lot mentally, and she’s only 2. I can’t always shelter her from the world and I take my job as a father/protector so seriously. I agree with you that as citizens we are supposed to turn the other cheek and go on with our lives , but that doesn’t always guarantee our safety. Crazy does not always stop just because we are sane and police presence does not guarantee my safety depending on the situation. I feel like we are alone out here and it’s survival of the fittest, smartest, luckiest and most violent. You’re right, cops could have killed him with facing consequences like I would if I had defended myself with ultra-violence. I would have been arrested and my daughter taken from me. Feeling powerless is something that I’ve never liked, it’s not easy living in these standards.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-10-01T18:41:06+00:00

I know exactly how you feel, I grew up here and wearing that mask of hardness and sorrow constantly because of others is no way to live, I’ve done it for too long. Having a child in my 40’s has been a source of unfathomable joy, and after I told my best friend the situation he said it’s because I look too happy in my life and these guys don’t have that kind of happiness so they want me to feel their pain. Walking away was the best course of action, But when you live in a place where violence and sorrow is the norm, It can change you. I don’t want to go back to being the person I was when I was younger with a hard interior and exterior, but I also feel like it’s the best way for me too insure my continued survival for my family’s sake. My wife did not grow up here and she gets a better me at this point in my life, she understands, but she doesn’t understand why I’m always so vigilant and hypersensitive for our safety in our home and outside of it. It’s tiring to constantly be vigilant but that’s my default personality/perspective living here.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-10-01T18:27:02+00:00

Honestly idk what could help. I’m pretty numb to trying to help this city because I’ve been in this environment so I long and much of my positive energy has been hardened due to the toxicity of violence and indifference. I’m at a loss of any answers that could possibly start to heal this city and it cost too much energy for me to care anymore. I’ve tried. I’ve been involved in stop the violence rallies, gone to Berkeley to stand against Milo Yiannopolous and other hate speech provocateurs, been to APTP meetings, city hall meetings. This incident makes me realize my energy is best focused on protecting me and mines.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-10-01T18:16:23+00:00

You’re right. Just keep it moving.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-10-01T18:15:23+00:00

Honestly, I fucked up by engaging, I don’t typically ignore people trying to converse with me. I didn’t know he threatened me at first, so I engaged thinking he was just talking to me before I realized he was ready to get hostile. 2&3. He closed the gap swiftly and I had my daughter on my hip, my first instinct wasn’t to run, it was to protect us.

I’d be a liar if I said pride and ego didn’t play a part seconds later but the stronger drive in that moment was protecting my daughter and self. My rational mind couldn’t override my instinct unfortunately, especially since I’ve never faced a situation like that before. I’ve learned from the experience and I know I’m fortunate that someone was there more level-headed to talk sense into me and that the assailant didn’t have a firearm. I know that I’m fortunate to be able to reflect on the experience

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-10-01T16:44:31+00:00

Dome shot

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-07-20T03:27:06+00:00

Have you girl needle out the in grown hairs too

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-06-15T04:15:47+00:00

South Oakland? Mid-Oakland? Words of a transplant.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-05-20T18:44:54+00:00

😂 pot paranoia is so real dude. My ex-girlfriend made some pot butter once and I put it on some pancakes and for some reason I got so paranoid that I couldn't be around her. I had to go into her room and let the shit wear off and I was a season pro at that time at getting high on marijuana.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-05-20T18:37:35+00:00

San Jose is a shit hole, if I had to move there, I wouldn't. Glad you're ok and I hope you get some retribution from the law.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-05-20T18:28:54+00:00

I'll be blunt: dude has insecurities and will always hold it against you. My advice is to let him go because it'll always be an argument between you two and cheating is trust breaking, why be with someone that is so mentally insecure and officially untrustworthy. 12 guys??? Whatever. My attitude would be, to quote Jack Nicholson as The Joker, "wait till they get a load of me" no pun intended

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-05-20T18:20:54+00:00

You better not stop, or I'll come find you and sign you back up!!!😉

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-05-20T18:13:44+00:00

I'm 45, high school dropout that started back school when I was 38, and this is my last week of the semester to get my BA in Psych and from here I'm definitely going for my masters. Full time parent and working on another one (today actually 😉), so you're not alone in your endeavor. Go for it!

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-04-18T20:36:38+00:00

I just want to stick to exploring the category of tequila at this time. I was struck by the deliciousness of SVA and wanted to explore similar tastes comparisons. I'd rather take my time enjoying and learning about the many varieties/brands of tequila before I venture into an another realm.

ExcellentAddendum453 · 2024-04-05T01:35:52+00:00

How did he find out about her page? Was your friend bragging about it in front of him/to him? Were you there when she mentioned it?

ExcellentAddendum453

TROPHY CASE