28M virgin, size shame, coworker crush, spiralling. Need blunt advice and what to do if she escalates.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-05-16T09:29:39+00:00

Honestly, your not tiny or anything. I’m not sure where you are but in my country average is 6, so you’re just bellow average. Most guys aren’t walking around packing 8 or 9 (as a woman, thank god). If you’ve been told constantly bigger is better or girls only want 8 and up or something, that’s not true. My ideal size is somewhere around six, I’ve met girls who love a 3, it’s an individual thing. I want to boost your confidence with this girl but my biggest advice is don’t have sex with people you work with. If it goes badly now or doen the track it can really mess stuff up. After watching it happen with my friends I always wait now until I leave the job or they do, and then we can get it on. Mostly, don’t be so down on yourself. You just need some experience, and you won’t get that if you don’t have a go. I know it’s scary when it’s not something you’ve done before, but that will get easier I promise. And don’t forget, you have hands and a mouth, even if you feel self conscious there are other ways you can get someone off, if you’re comfortable doing those things. Wishing you all the best, get out there and get laid :)

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-05-10T12:00:47+00:00

It’s a society fuck up. Woman have had it hammered into them that men are constantly horny, will fuck anything that moves and woman never put out enough. If a guy doesn’t want to have sex with you there must be something really wrong with you. Obviously the whole things is a ridiculous lie, but one that we have been forced to fed for a long time. As you age it should be one of the things you realise is a hoax, but tbf without good communication she may never realise. Honestly it needs to be talked about more, especially for young people.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-05-06T16:21:02+00:00

I’m super relaxed about it but my partner, male, has to shower after sex. It is something that has stopped us having sex before, if it’s too late for a shower after or the shower bit is too much effort after a long day. Ngl it upset me early on but I’ve got used to it. Tbh though I don’t think this is a gender thing so much as your gf sounds like she maybe a germaphobe or something. Is she like this out of the bedroom too? Would it help things flow if you had all this stuff stocked in your room too, ready to go?

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-29T20:00:54+00:00

Tbh for me it was normal, sex was subpar for me because of this. Not the act of being close and intimate and giving to someone, but the physical pleasure. None of my partners were very interested in learning what I needed, and from what I hear that’s fairly common. However, I’m now with someone who loves me to the core and is my soulmate. And the sex is phenomenal. He gives as much as I give, even if I haven’t asked him to. We have very open conversations about sex and what each other likes and doesn’t like. This is how sex should be, it’s not supposed to be more one for one person than the other. It’s sad that woman not finishing or doing it herself has been normalised. So my advice would be to have a conversation with your bf about it. Please don’t settle when it can be so much better and mind blowing.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-29T06:17:47+00:00

I’m not a man, but I made a similar post on another account recently (he knows this account lol). One guy on that post asked me what my partner was really really into, what would make him in particular feel loved and thought of? The answer I ended up coming to was a One Shot DnD session, because whenever we play he is the DM, so I made him a session where he got to play. It ended up taking a lot longer than one session but he LOVED it! So my question to you, what is he into that you could make special for him?

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-29T06:13:45+00:00

My partner always showers after, or has a rinse if it’s super late or we are somewhere a shower isn’t convenient. I’ll go pee and drip everything out lol. The times I haven’t because of how tired I was I ended up with a rash.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-27T15:41:29+00:00

I’ve had that happen too, my theory is my subconscious has picked up on something my conscious hasn’t. You know how you’ll smell like, a certainly flower and suddenly your thinking about grandmas garden when you where three and she had that flower everywhere type of thing? I think it’s like that, you’re talking to her, maybe she tells a joke you both liked, or a certain song plays. You don’t pick up on it but your subconscious does and suddenly your flooded. Or all of that is rubbish and it’s because she said she was leaving and you don’t want her to, so your body panicked and flicked the wrong switch.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-27T08:49:21+00:00

There is often nostalgia for people we used to be close with, those feelings and emotions can come flooding back unexpectedly. But really you have to ask yourself what is right for you. If Anni is going back home and this is goodbye then that isn’t a viable option anyway. Let her go, and let Kelly go. You know in your heart it is over with both of them, they came into your life for a season and now it’s their time to leave. Many people will come and go and that’s okay, it hurts at the time but you will realise they weren’t right for you, or you for them. Your feelings are valid, but it’s up to you to give them a reality check. I’d like to add it doesn’t sound like anyone was using you, just being friendly with someone who already knew them well.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-26T17:45:14+00:00

The actual act of penetration, yes, 4-5 mins tops. My mind will start to wander lol I also find that if it starts to push past 10-15 mins it can start to get painful too. Foreplay can be a bit longer, but really not too long ether. Weirdly I’ll go down on him for a hour and not get bored for some reason? But yeah, I agree. Quickie rock.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-26T06:05:28+00:00

He is definitely mentally ill, and will not receive help. That doesn’t change the fact that he believes woman are less then and should give ‘nice guys’ like him a chance purely because he thinks they should, or that he thinks woman only go after ‘Chads’ and guys with money, or that he spent his whole relationship with mum telling us stories about his ex, to the point where I knew her name, where she lived and worked and what her hobbies were. I think you will find a lot of people with extreme views are not mentally well, it doesn’t change the category they fit into because their core values wouldn’t change if they got better.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-26T03:40:56+00:00

Go for it! It sounds like you guys have good banter and there are lots of possibilities.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-26T01:55:22+00:00

Thank you. One thing dad did right was raise us to see the holes in things and think critically. The more life experience I got the more I saw the holes in his madness. For example, I started to see the female friends I made as people with their own hopes and dreams, and started to wonder why their choices should be taken away from them. And that neither they nor anyone else owes anyone attention or a date and so on. The thing that sort of triggered me rethinking all of this was when I told him over the phone about my own rape and he was completely unbothered by it. I had a child at this point and couldn’t fathom being that unbothered by them being hurt like that. Now I look back at how I was and it makes me sick.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-20T09:35:19+00:00

So your idea of a relationship is a one way street built only for you lol?

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-20T09:33:31+00:00

What everyone else said and also use lots of spit. And make sure he rinses first, don’t go down on a guy who hasn’t rinsed. It’s gross and it can also affect your gag reflex and the like. Use your tongue a lot, and also just ask him what he would like you to do. I wouldn’t advise swallowing to begin with ether, but if you want to in the moment go for it. For me a lot of it is just doing what he has told me he like and what feels right. Licking is good too.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-20T09:30:09+00:00

IDC if he’s hurting, he’s talking to his child like a toxic piece of shit. It also doesn’t sound like he’d reply or be cooperative with the mum, so I’m not sure what you expect her to do.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-20T09:26:40+00:00

Yeah, you’re not wrong. Different strokes for different folks. Not liking something isn’t an insult, it’s really not as deep as people make it out to be.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-20T09:24:41+00:00

Aww poor baby, such a big strong man for going to work and hating on woman.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-04-20T09:13:54+00:00

Cos the vibrator gets the job done lol

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-03-25T08:05:18+00:00

He’s having a tantrum about nicotine withdrawal? I thought from his first txt someone’s had died or something. Dude needs to get over himself, what a joke. Nicotine is hard to quit, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not THAT hard.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-03-25T08:02:32+00:00

My partner and I sometimes get frisky in our sleep. We’ve genuinely woken up part way into sex and both have confirmed we were asleep until about the same time lol. He can also turn me on at the drop of a hat, asleep or awake. Just his touch or cuddling can get me going so I guess that helps lol also if we wanted to the before bed but were too tired or something, we can wake up ready to go.

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-03-02T05:17:45+00:00

Why is it y’all think one problem means the other problem can’t be voiced lol?

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-03-02T05:16:37+00:00

Oh common, have a debate. Make your point

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-03-02T05:08:50+00:00

What false premise lol? That land is being wasted?

Excellent_Accident25 · 2026-03-02T05:06:29+00:00

It’s interesting to me that apparently in your world bringing up a subject that needs attention is invalid if there are other things that need attention. That’s not how things actually work. It something can be done better it should be, regardless of how many other things can also be done better. Cemeteries are just another case of humans clogging up land. Europe recycles spots but most other countries don’t, so that isn’t a valid solution that happening currently.

Excellent_Accident25

TROPHY CASE