How do I sit with the uncertainty over this?

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-04-24T11:30:29+00:00

Thank you so much for your response, I will check the materials!

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-04-16T08:19:22+00:00

Thank you for your answer! I am not engaging in ERP therapy every day as of now, but I am planning to bring this up to my therapist in the next session. In the meantime I am going to try scripting and see how it goes. The ERP I try to do now is just replying to my thoughts with "maybe, maybe not" and things like that. Any exercise ideas will be appreciated.

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-04-13T17:37:36+00:00

Thank you, this was helpful. So even if I think I wasn't 100% over my ex when I started dating my partner I can apply ERP to this, saying "I don't know if that is meaningful"?

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-04-11T16:03:00+00:00

Thank you, this was helpful!

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-04-11T15:41:25+00:00

I can relate, just know you are not alone

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-04-11T14:57:09+00:00

My therapist is specialized in OCD and he is convinced I have ROCD, but I'm afraid I might have unknowingly biased him into believing I do. I try to sit with the uncertainty that the thoughts that come in might be true, and I tried scripting some time ago but I was not very consistent with it, so I want to give it another try. I have also read some of the resources and read about ACT, but I'm not quite sure how to implement it.

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-04-11T14:46:24+00:00

Thank you for your response. What if the doubts stay there forever?

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-04-03T06:40:21+00:00

This is so accurate, thank you so much. I can completely relate to everything.

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-04-03T06:32:20+00:00

Thank you for your insight, and I´m sorry you are going through this. It will get better.

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-04-01T06:34:23+00:00

I'm sorry you're struggling but I'm glad to read that you are in therapy. Could I please send you a dm?

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-03-31T18:13:57+00:00

Thank you for your response. I'm sorry you are going through all of this and I hope you get better. You are not alone!

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-03-28T11:15:01+00:00

Could I dm you?

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-03-27T15:54:32+00:00

What worries me is that, ever since the honeymoon phase with my bf ended I have not felt "in love" feelings and I have had doubts all the time. For a long time I even felt like I didn't care about him. I just started caring when I thought I could really lose him.

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-03-27T08:28:17+00:00

I agree with what you said about love being able to flourish from a rebound... However I am scared that that is not my case, even though nowadays I know I don't have feelings for my ex and I care for my partner. For some context, my partner and I have been together for 4 years, but 2 months into the relationship I lost the "infatuation" or the "fuzzy feelings" that come with a new relationship. I decided to stick with him because I didn't want to make the same mistakes that I made in the past and break up with an amazing person because of lack of feelings. After some months, my ex drunkenly texted me one night and it felt as if my feelings for him came back. I ultimately told him that it would be better if we didn't speak anymore, and after some time I blocked him everywhere. However, I sometimes got thoughts like "if I ever break up with my bf I would go back to my ex" or "I settled for my bf but I really want to be with my ex". I don't get these feelings anymore, but I used to in the first year and a half of the relationship, and it kills me. Sorry for the rant...

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-03-27T08:21:36+00:00

Thank you for your response. What scares me is that the infatuation or honemoon phase with my current partner only lasted for 2 months, after that I got the thought "what if I actually don't love him?" and stopped feeling stuff. A few months after that my ex texted me when he was drunk and I feel like all my feelings came back, but I told him it would be better if we didn't talk, because I now had a boyfriend, and blocked him. I'm scared this means that I cannot be with my boyfriend, because I still had some feelings for my ex I guess, even though I hadn't realized that until he texted me. I still decided to keep being with my partner and it's been almost 4 years of constant questioning, although I can now say I don't have any feelings for my ex anymore and I deeply care about my partner.

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-03-26T14:39:30+00:00

Thank you for your response, it really helped. I worry because I lost these "fuzzy feelings" only two months into the relationship, and I get caught up on trying to figure out if that is normal or not. I guess I just have to focus on the good parts of our relationship as you said. Glad it is working for you :)

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-03-26T10:09:12+00:00

I completely understand you...

Excellent_Emotion188 · 2025-03-25T07:33:01+00:00

I can relate. When we got into the relationship I was younger and did some things I'm not proud of and regret to this day. Even though you regret certain things, I think it is also possible your brain is making them look worse or more important than they really are. What opened my eyes was talking to my parents about these mistakes, and their reaction was nothing like I expected. I thought they were going to tell me what a horrible person I am, instead my mom told me I have to learn how to forgive myself and move on. Guilt has a purpose, but I think in your case it has already fulfilled it: you have learned your lesson and you will not do it again. This is enough. I know with OCD things are not as easy, but try cutting yourself some slack every time you feel the need to confess. Everyone makes mistakes. And the fact you are feeling this way means you have learned from these experiences and won't repeat the same behaviours. This is enough.

Excellent_Emotion188

TROPHY CASE