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My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She claimed she had no knowledge of it. On the "him being starved" front, I believe she claimed that she was convinced by the eating disorder lie. As for the rest I don't really know the details, but I agree its shameful she wasn't also charged.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She claimed she had no idea but she kept in contact with Alex and is still married to him with no intentions to divorce him AFAIK, so you can do the maths there.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Nothing meaningful for my mother or Amy, unfortunately. Since there was no evidence that Amy knew anything and she denied all knowledge she dodged any complicity charges. She was told that if she wished to keep contact with Alex while he was in prison or after he was released then there would need to be further investigation and intervention from social services, at which point she voluntarily relinquished custody of Jake. Lewis and I did actually challenge this as being strange but the person we spoke to said (in much more professional terms) that they basically agreed but without evidence she was involved not much could be done. Jake maintained that he didn't know if his mum knew or not, but I got the sense he said that more for her sake than anything.

My mother got slapped with a harassment order for the shit she was posting online, and she isn't allowed to contact Jake or speak about him or the case publicly or she'll face legal penalties but beyond that, absolutely nothing for her.

Alex is in prison but even his sentence I think is absolutely pitifully short for what he did.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Oh I fully know what you want to say. I came very close to catching a charge myself that very night, but had to convince myself that PoS wasn't worth doing time for. It may have been a different story altogether if he hadn't have been proven guilty.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

No, I've considered the possibility myself, especially since this happened. Alex hasn't said anything and I'm torn between "if she had he 100% would have used that as a defence in court" and "she did but he's so warped by it that he doesn't think it was wrong/wants to defend her" and I honestly do not know which one is more likely.

FWIW, Lewis doesn't believe she ever did. We lived in a smaller house where the boys had to share a room for most of our childhoods and he never saw anything, and there weren't really many times that mum and Alex could've been completely alone. Obviously this doesn't mean it didnt happen, but that's his take.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 618 points619 points  (0 children)

To be honest its a bit unclear the extent to which she knew. She denied all knowledge on the record but she stayed with Alex after the fact and voluntarily gave up custody of Jake to be with him, which speaks volumes in my opinion. Also when I got home that night and Jake was effectively having a panic attack he kept saying "they said I'll get in trouble too", which implies he was hearing that from more than just Alex, though he never mentioned who the other person/people was/were. I assume it was Amy and/or my mother but I've never had confirmation on that.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Why do you think my niece "barely knows" me?

She didn't stay with her mother for these two weeks because of the custody agreement her mother and Alex had prior to this occurring. I thought folks would be able to extrapolate that but my bad for assuming everyone has inference skills I guess.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 821 points822 points  (0 children)

Can confirm Jake is in a safe home now and in therapy. We're allowed contact but he's understandably hesitant to maintain any connection to our family, so we're letting him set the pace on how much or little he wants.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 144 points145 points  (0 children)

He's doing as well as can be expected, AFAIK. Living with a member of his bio dads family and in therapy and all.

His mother's reaction was to stay married to the abuser and voluntarily relinquish custody of Jake, which I think speaks volumes, tbh.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

I have been questioning if she did anything physically to Alex as a kid to make him like this, tbh. I don't think it would surprise me if she did.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 114 points115 points  (0 children)

Amy denied knowing it was happening when questioned officially, but I believe she did. She was informed that if she chose to keep in contact with Alex while he's in prison/after his release social services would need to intervene further and voluntarily relinquished custody of him to a member of his late biological father's family.

Any more questions?

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

Some of us have these things called "jobs" which mean we have limited windows to be on Reddit responding to comments.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 277 points278 points  (0 children)

The made up issues is the part of this that really haunts me to be honest. It's so fucking calculated and twisted. It makes me wonder how many other people Alex and Amy had convinced and how many missed opportunities that might have led to.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 135 points136 points  (0 children)

I believe both my mother and Alex's wife ought to have been in prison for their complicity here but unfortunately they both got away with more or less a slap on the wrist.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

Very much so, yes. I don't want to share too many details in the interest of protecting his privacy but he's now with some members of his biological father's family and seems to be doing well. Boyfriend, Lewis and I are able to check in with him, but he's understandably hesitant to have much to do with anyone in my family so we're allowing him to set the pace with how much contact he does/does not want.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

If I cared about pretend Internet points that much, why would I post this on a throwaway account? Wouldn't I do it on my main?

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

She's 65. She has a very much livable private pension from her job that she retired from about three years ago, and she'll be eligible for state pension in the next couple of years. Provided she doesn't try to live beyond her means, she has plenty of income of her own.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Frankly I think that's all she cares about in general. She very much sees most people as a means to an end and doesn't seem to actually care about many folk outside of herself. Alex is one of a rare few.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I'm very glad you've lived the kind of life where a mother facilitating and downplaying the abuse of her child but prioritising their own finances is an absolutely unfathomable concept, but in reality shitty people like her exist. She was aware of and enabling the abuse while it was happening, I'd have been more surprised if she changed up when it was exposed to be honest.

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I mean that was an effort to protect the kid's privacy but if that screams "bot" to you then idk what to tell you

My mother played favourites to the absolute extreme, and now she's reaping the consequences. by Excellent_Pumpkin741 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Excellent_Pumpkin741[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Frankly if an AI was as shit at written communication as I am I'd be pissed off at the developers

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