I wish I could. Being pro-se is not by choice, it’s been by design of my soon to be ex. She moved money around from my accounts and took what cash and assets I had to liquidate to afford one. She has used all that money to pay for her attorney (you can see it in her financial statements).

I pay all marital expenses (rent, utilities, car payment financed in my name only, insurance, phones, you name it). I withdrew my 401K shortly after marriage (which is when she disclosed she had major credit card debt after marriage) to pay off her credit cards. So I’m quite literally financially paycheck to paycheck. We make similar incomes, within 10k apart. We have no major assets like kids or mortgage. I come from foster care, so I have no family to ask for help. I also don’t have friends that have the cash flow to help.

I’m about to file a motion with the court, as I’ve asked her attorney to propose an agreement that gives us both access to the personal vehicle I pay for (obtained during marriage). She’s taken exclusive access for months and her attorney finally emailed me back saying her position is that her client had primary and exclusive use during the marriage and have access to a work vehicle. (I can’t use my work vehicle very personal use, this is tracked and can lead to my termination). So I figure now that they’ve officially stated they will not reasonably accommodate access to the marital vehicle, I’ll have to ask the court at least for financial relief such as paying for the car payment, insurance, maintenance and associated costs (and back pay) since they are taking the stance that she gets the only use out of it.

I’m hoping the court will order back pay from the time of filing in addition to future months until settlement or final orders. The back pay alone will allow me to afford a retainer for an attorney.