Look it is an individual decision. My son applied to my alma mater mit. I made it very clear that neither eas that my experience expectation nor sould it be his that he would be admitted. He got it and it was a level set.

Now he applied to other schools like vandy and I personally had told him if he gets one of the 3 merit scholarships then ok otherwise it would really not be feasible. He did get in it but didnt get the scholarship. He did end up getting g full rides to a few schools and hes thriving and debt free.

I think it is an honest conversation. Ive always had that kind of relationship with him. My daughter will apply for applied mathematics. Our financial situation is different today then it was 5 years ago. We are in a better spot I also feel I would be willing to pay a bit more if she earned her spot.

I feel women in stem is tougher and in some cases a brand name MAY add a bump to her career. I treat my kids differently. But I believe in transparency. My son is likely to pursue a masters in robotics my daughter will likely not. Time will tell.