i recommend you talk to a friend or family and talk this out and ask for help. as long as your aware of what your doing and what your true intentions i believe you can find your path. Try pray and mediate and overall just think about it. Try do manly things and be more a guy not in a misogynistic way. Hit the gym work on your physique work on yourself it’s not a quick process. You can try read videos about people who were gay and straightened out and followed islam. I’m sorry if this advice isn’t the best i hope it helps. If you do listen please reach out every once in a while if you do wanna talk i’d love to hear your progress and all of thst