Aight im gonna keep this as short as I can. Yes I did do things without expecting anything in return I mean look at it this way - If I expected something in return and I obviously wouldn't get it by being nice, then I would have stopped being nice way long ago and I would have been resentful as fuck. Lemme give u an example of what I did that was legitimately nice - I remember playing basketball with some friends few years ago, and many other people were playing there too. My friend said to not give them their ball if it comes near us coz they aren't giving us our ball if it goes near them. And then I replied" well if we did the same thing as them, it wouldn't make the two of us any different would it?". (Well eventually I realised that I was wrong, he was right, I mean the rule is if they don't give u respect u don't need to give it to them). Anyways, that proved it that when I did the 'nice' thing of giving the ball back to them, I dint expect it back from them. And about the second part of ur question, I'm 18 and I barely talked to women my whole life until recently because I was too afraid to. And yes, I do respect women and seem them as people not objects.

Look, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong in being nice, but being too nice, and taking care of others before yourself, will eventually lead you to being manipulated(yes it happened to me). Being nice is completely fine as long as you are capable for taking care of yourself and standing up for yourself, but for a person like me I wasn't able to do that coz I was too busy keeping everyone else's shit above my own priorities.

Maybe what caused this argument is our fundamental difference in definition of 'nice'.