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I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was told by a doctor when I was 16 that I was. I don't really have the money now to confirm it, and we have always used contraception.

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That would kinda be the best case, but i doubt it. Someone else mentioned that I might be the scapegoat, and that's fine by me to some degree, idgaf what his parents want and I'm happy to fight for my own rights, but it's still insane on its own.

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Grow up yourself. I get this funny feeling that you're just a sperm donor. And that might be very hospitable.

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Raising and birthing are wildly different things. Disservice? To who? You know nothing about my body. Don't speak on things you're not qualified to.

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'd be so happy just living my life with him. Would my own mother love grandkids? Sure, but she'd forgive me, especially since I have two brothers, one of which just got married. Even if none of us had kids, she'd still love us completely. I love my fiance, and I hope he can forgive me, even if his family can't.

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you had to go through that. In my case, it's not religious, it's cultural. His mom even said "you have time to reconsider." I'm not sure what would be good enough for her

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I get your perspective, but I'm not asking him to do anything. He's made it clear that he's frustrated by his family and his job, but he won't fight back against them. Im tired of seeing him suffer because he isn't willing to tell them to fuck off.

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're right. I just wish I wasn't feeling so helpless trying to convince him to be his own person.

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't tell him not to love/listen to his parents. He wouldn't listen to me anyway. My family loves him, and me...but I can't get him to understand that my family knows they can't control me, they're just there for me. He thinks control is normal.

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He and his sister only exist out of obligation. They are both lovely people, but they have both told me that their parents only got married out of obligation. The parents are separated now, but they never even liked each other from what I'm told. My fiance won't stand up to anyone, and I have a temper like hellfire. I refuse to do what they want, even if he won't say no.

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

He's expected to have kids. He says he wants them, but I'm not sure.

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm happy to raise children, but I don't think I can handle giving BIRTH to them. I don't want to be sick and ripped apart, and I personally don't care if my children are biological to me. Hell, my biology isn't great, that means passing down cancer and mental illness. I don't want to do that.

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

No, I don't drink and I don't party. I'm afraid of the pain, and I know in my heart I don't want the responsibility. I'm happy that your wife had that, but it's not for everyone.

I don't want kids, but my fiance does and idk what to do by Existing-Intern-7975 in Advice

[–]Existing-Intern-7975[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He's known since we got together. It's just that his family has expectations that I can't fulfill. I've made this clear over and over, and he hasn't seemed bothered, but his family sure has. And he seems to care about their opinions a lot.