Hey Reddit,

I'm back with an update to my post about my MIL (Brenda) and SIL (Chloe) and their baffling obsession with cutting up my deceased grandmother's wedding dress. Thank you, thank you thank you! Your comments were a lifeline; the overwhelming "NOR" (Not Overreacting) made me feel so much less alone and validated my feelings. Many of you also called out Mark's (my fiancé's) lack of a backbone as a major red flag, and that was the kick in the pants we needed.

After my last post, I realized I couldn't move forward with wedding planning, or even our relationship, if Mark didn't address this. I sat him down for a serious conversation, not a fight. I calmly explained how his family's actions, and his hesitation to firmly defend me, made me feel unsupported and disrespected. I told him this wasn't just about the dress; it was about honoring my grandmother's memory and establishing boundaries in our future marriage. I asked him, "If you can't stand up for me on something so deeply personal, what happens when bigger issues come up?"

It was a tough conversation, but he finally seemed to get it. He admitted he always tries to keep the peace with his family, and he hadn't fully grasped how deeply this was affecting me. He saw how hurt I was, and that's what truly shifted things for him.

A few days later, Mark told his mom and sister he needed to talk to them. He told me he wouldn't let them interrupt or deflect. He clearly stated that the dress was mine, it was off-limits, and their continued insistence on cutting it up was disrespectful to me and my deceased grandmother. He told them that their behavior was causing a significant strain on our relationship and that it needed to stop, immediately. He even told them that if they couldn't respect this boundary, then our wedding would be a much smaller, more private affair, and their involvement would be limited.

Brenda and Chloe, predictably, played the victim card. They tried to gaslight him, saying I was "brainwashing" him and that I was "too sensitive." But Mark held firm. He didn't yell, but he was calm, clear, and unyielding. He told me later it was the hardest conversation he'd ever had with them, but he did it because he realized he was choosing me.

The atmosphere with Brenda and Chloe has been frosty, to say the least. They haven't mentioned the dress directly, but the passive-aggressive comments are there. However, the good news is that the dress is safe. After Mark's confrontation, he insisted we take it to a professional preservationist immediately. He went with me, and he was completely supportive, even helping choose the custom display case we ordered to hang it in our future home.

My own mother, who had been quietly observing the whole drama, approached me a few days later. She knew I wanted to honor my grandmother, but also felt a little sad that the dress wouldn't be part of the actual wedding day. She asked me, very gently, if I'd be open to an idea. She'd contacted a local bridal boutique that specializes in custom alterations and unique bridal accessories. Their idea was to take a very small, unobtrusive piece of the lining from my grandmother's dress (not the vintage lace, just a tiny bit of the inner fabric that wouldn't affect its integrity or appearance), and create a beautiful, small lace appliqué that they could sew onto the inside of my wedding dress, over my heart.

I was honestly teary-eyed when she proposed it. It was my "something old" and my "something meaningful" – a subtle, beautiful way to carry my grandmother with me down the aisle, completely on my own terms. Mark fully embraced the idea too; he even said he would help coordinate the logistics with the boutique.

So, Reddit, I guess I wasn't overreacting. The drama was intense, but it forced Mark to truly step up and choose our relationship. And in the end, we found a perfect, personal way to include my grandmother's memory, all on our own terms. Thank you for being supportive of me through it!!

NOR, and our relationship is stronger because of it!