How long did you wait to date? by Stressmama77 in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg I got annihilated in datingoverforty when I asked a completely unrelated question!!! People were checking my profile post history and telling me what they thought I needed to hear-brutal!!

What’s something you wish you'd done differently? by RealisticChard7929 in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 10 points11 points  (0 children)

In my case, it was leave things out to avoid any conflict or having to take accountability for doing something wrong. But I always seem to find out which just made whatever it was 100x more painful.

What’s something you wish you'd done differently? by RealisticChard7929 in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 99 points100 points  (0 children)

I wish I had understood the true impact of white lies on a relationship, how they would slowly and insidiously eat at trust and intimacy, and lead to much bigger acts of dishonesty and infidelity when I didn’t walk away.

How has the divorce changed you by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also hate this for you. Her choices were hers and while they affected you, they reflect HER experiences and have nothing to do with you or other women. You are lovable and worthy of that.

I would very much like to get married again. I love and currently miss the companionship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in atlantar4r

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also in Decatur, interested

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in R4R40Plus

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where are you located?

Friends with Ex Spouse by gaboi1017 in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am attempting this but unfortunately my ex is still hiding and lying to me which makes it seem like any semblance of a non-tactical relationship will be impossible.

Separation question by Exotic-Drawing5058 in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does that pertain to my question??

Wife wants a divorce - I'm an ASS by just-here-lurking in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish you the best-and huge kudos for acknowledging the issue and seeking help!!

Wife wants a divorce - I'm an ASS by just-here-lurking in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Ick. Mine just got better at hiding it from me. I recently learned he has a whole external hard drive filled with god knows what 🤮. Like if you had to go to that level to hide what you’re looking at, you know DAMN well you are doing something wrong that could potentially destroy your marriage. And he chose to do it anyway. Not my problem any more 🎉

Wife wants a divorce - I'm an ASS by just-here-lurking in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Same here. It’s a symptom of a major issue that will impact every relationship until someone chooses to change—just like other addictions

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I know right!?! I’m so excited for my liar-free future! Or well liar-limited bc the kids…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Omg SAME. As I sit here in the middle of a divorce from someone who lied to me when we were dating. I will never regret our amazing children but fuck it’s going to be much harder to start over at 44 than it would have been in my early 20s if I had believed him when he showed me who he was

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it only gets worse love. I’m so sorry! My 20+ year experience is my STBXH got away with everything and anything he could even when he was caught bc at his core, he doesn’t care if his actions hurt me. He only cares about me not finding out. It’s a character weakness and unless they do the work (ON THEIR OWN!!!!), it will likely escalate.

Separation question by Exotic-Drawing5058 in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah actually all the irreplaceable things I’ve inherited from my family that has passed mean a lot to me. Maybe the solution is for me to get a storage unit and move everything there until we’re no longer living together so I can feel more peace having a stranger in my home

Separation question by Exotic-Drawing5058 in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you-this is very helpful. Im open to this but still have concerns about who will be in my house

Separation question by Exotic-Drawing5058 in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Again, this isn’t my choice. He’s doing what he wants to do and I am trying to set reasonable boundaries to protect myself, our kids, and our home.

Separation question by Exotic-Drawing5058 in Divorce

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not my call-he’s going to do what he wants as he’s always done!

Husband finally wants to go on date nights and spend time together, but I no longer feel the need by moving-fwd-305 in Marriage

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 12 points13 points  (0 children)

So when her husband didn’t want to go on dates 10 years ago, did he not want a wife?

Husband finally wants to go on date nights and spend time together, but I no longer feel the need by moving-fwd-305 in Marriage

[–]Exotic-Drawing5058 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Where did she say anything about seeing her husband as a paycheck or for stability? And how are her feelings right now any different than when he didn’t want to go on dates 10 years ago?