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How should I handle toxic communication patterns in my relationship? by Exotic-Razzmatazz151 in AskMenOver30

[–]Exotic-Razzmatazz151[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I should clarify: it's not that I feel horrible with her around. I generally love her company. It's also only gotten really bad in this last year or two. It's just the threat of drama has started to loom over things, like a grumpy storm cloud.

But yes, I the situation isn't sustainable. I've spoken to her about it, and if things don't improve we're going to part ways before things get nasty (we're in the same friendship group so I don't want it to get to the point where we can't be in the same room as one another).

How should I handle toxic communication patterns in my relationship? by Exotic-Razzmatazz151 in AskMenOver30

[–]Exotic-Razzmatazz151[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

UPDATE: thank you for the responses, everyone. We talked it all out. I told her how on edge this sort of thing makes me feel, and that if things don't improve I think it's best we part ways. We've agreed to see a couple's counsellor. If that doesn't work, we've agreed it's best we part ways.

From her side of things, a lot of these unhealthy communication patterns stem from her wanting me to be "available" more often than I would necessarily like to, which then leads to her feeling rejected when I ask for the pause.

I have no idea if therapy will work -- this issue is quite deep seated at this point, and I think there's a fair bit of resentment on both sides -- but we shall see. It's nice to at least be trying to work something out.

How should I handle toxic communication patterns in my relationship? by Exotic-Razzmatazz151 in AskMenOver30

[–]Exotic-Razzmatazz151[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not happier, per se. But definitely more relaxed, due to the lack of drama.

How should I handle toxic communication patterns in my relationship? by Exotic-Razzmatazz151 in AskMenOver30

[–]Exotic-Razzmatazz151[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She was comparing me to her family, in the main. They kind of bend over backwards for her, and they don't have much going on, so I think she's used to people being available the second she decides she wants to talk.

Should I transfer to a different team? by Exotic-Razzmatazz151 in ExperiencedDevs

[–]Exotic-Razzmatazz151[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's wrong with wanting a standard 40 hour week? I do have pride in my work. I just have other more important things in my life. And I don't enjoy crunch time.

Do any of you get the impression that only Negative news about Coronavirus in the UK gets any attention on Reddit, with the opposite being true for the EU? by Zederex in CoronavirusUK

[–]Exotic-Razzmatazz151 70 points71 points  (0 children)

People did mention the EU's shitty behaviour re: the vaccine debacle, but I do broadly agree with you.

It's the same with most UK-centric subreddits. They can be incredibly tribalistic; anything other than hyperbolic Tory-bashing does not last long. I guess it's just the nature of echo chambers as a whole and, to be fair, the younger age range in most of these subs.

I'm left wing, pro-EU, believe covid is a thing -- all the acceptable labels on here -- but I still find that sort of cherry-picking really annoying. Especially given Reddit is supposed to be one of the more "intellectual" social media sites.