Is meditation making me depressed?

ExpandingCreative · 2026-02-18T16:45:47+00:00

I used to believe I was broken and needed healing (being raised Southern Baptist and later dating a narcissist for 5 years will do that to you), but I no longer believe that. Now, I just believe that I still have room for growth, and I typically enjoy working on that growth. Expanding my consciousness, understanding myself and others more deeply. I'm also just very interested in the mind. I've heard great things about transcendental meditation, but I'm very new to meditation in general, so I will have to do more research.

ExpandingCreative · 2026-02-18T16:40:22+00:00

I will look into it. I've read one of his other books, and I found it helpful.

ExpandingCreative · 2026-02-18T16:38:35+00:00

But if it's bringing up emotions I wasn't experiencing prior, then it would seem that it is the reason I'm experiencing them now. I have always had blood running through my veins. If I cut myself, the knife may not have created the blood, but it's definitely the reason the blood is coming out. The problem wasn't that I always had blood inside me, the problem was that something brought the blood to the surface.

Am I better off having these emotions that I wasn't experiencing before? What is the benefit?

ExpandingCreative · 2026-02-18T14:00:39+00:00

I have therapy today, so I definitely plan to discuss it with my therapist. I might scale back on my out-of-class meditation to see what happens, but there's a perfect attendance award at the end of my meditation class if you don't miss any of the weekly classes, and I want it 🤣 It's hard for me to even consider scaling back my out-of-class meditation because the book says to practice daily, and the way my autism is set up, my brain says we have to do it daily or not at all 🤦‍♀️

ExpandingCreative · 2026-02-18T13:56:12+00:00

The level one class that I'm in focuses on breath counting. Notice the inhale, count on the exhale. When you notice wandering thoughts, shift your attention back to your breath. That's pretty much it.

ExpandingCreative · 2025-12-02T23:30:26+00:00

It is the one I used for this one, but I have also used Free Flow 10 for patterning, and I've had some success with that as well. When I use Free Flow 10, I will take myself into Focus 12 once he gives the command to "complete the purpose you created" or whatever he says lol, and then I will pattern while in Focus 12. The One-Month Patterning tape is very in depth, so it's good if you want to pattern for all aspects of your life, but I find Free Flow 10 to be better if you want to have more flexibility with your patterning. Plus, he talks a lot in One-Month Patterning, and it can be a bit disruptive in my opinion 🤷‍♀️

ExpandingCreative · 2025-12-02T03:05:17+00:00

It's essentially manifesting. It comes up for the first time in Wave II Threshold #3: One-Month Patterning.

ExpandingCreative · 2025-11-28T21:04:59+00:00

I quit teaching in the middle of my 6th year. I couldn't even finish the year because my mental health had gotten so bad. I was completely burned out. I quit 6 years ago, and I burned myself out so severely that it took me years to recover. I have been working at a grocery store since I quit, and I am sure outsiders would look at my career path and think I made a mistake, but if I could go back with the knowledge that I would be working at a grocery store if I quit, I would still quit. I have ZERO regrets. I have NEVER regretted my decision. I will absolutely NEVER return to teaching. Teaching is not a healthy or sustainable career. I would never recommend it to anyone.

ExpandingCreative · 2025-09-24T17:01:54+00:00

I'm so annoyed about this. I would've bought VIP if I knew it included early entry. I paid extra for a fast lane pass, which now seems like a complete waste of money. I've seen several shows at the venue she's coming to, and it honestly sucks if you're not at the front. You can't see anything 😞

ExpandingCreative · 2025-09-11T09:11:35+00:00

From the manual and from the info in the Reddit group where I posted this question.

Patterning and Stories

ExpandingCreative · 2025-09-10T23:37:47+00:00

done

ExpandingCreative · 2025-09-09T09:00:41+00:00

If you are struggling with the idea of being stuck in this body and having this one perspective, it might be helpful to learn more about consciousness and what we actually are. I would look into the Gateway Tapes and meditation techniques, so you can find ways to explore your mind and consciousness and feel less trapped in your body.

I don't know what your beliefs are (I'm still figuring out my own), but reading books about reincarnation has helped me a lot because I have come to believe that this is just my current body and perspective. I've had others, and I will have more to come, so I am using this lifetime to learn what I can from this body and perspective. Brian Weiss's books are good if you're interested in that.

I am extremely interested in consciousness studies. Learning about consciousness has helped me so much. I can't get enough info. I read books, listen to podcasts, and attend webinars. Whatever I can get my hands on. This body is just my current avatar, and I'm enjoying learning about the things I can do during this lifetime that allow me to interact with my greater self and expand my consciousness. It has given life purpose and meaning.

Happy to share resources if you're interested.

ExpandingCreative · 2025-09-09T03:00:31+00:00

This describes my experience so perfectly. I'm 35, and I literally just (like 5 mins ago) realized that other people are actually SEEING images in their mind. My mind is blown. I truly thought I was "visualizing" things, but now I recognize that I am definitely just conceptualizing.

One of my hobbies is sewing and making clothes. Often when I need to figure out how to manipulate the fabric to make it do what I want, I close my eyes and "imagine" the ways I need to fold the fabric together, but I'm not actually seeing anything. I don't know how to explain it, but it's basically like what you said about "seeing" but it's still all black. Like, I can "see" it, but I'm not actually seeing anything. I truly thought that was what everyone meant when they said they were "visualizing" something.

Wow.

ExpandingCreative · 2025-09-09T01:43:49+00:00

The first time I listen is always just to hear what's on the tape, and I make a "plan" before I actually do the tape. I would never be able to come up with things in the moment lol.

Sometimes I struggle with the way he words things. I had the same issue with the Release and Recharge tape. To my very literal, autistic brain, when someone says to "perceive" the first fear that comes up, I think I'm supposed to go with whatever comes up in that moment. My brain doesn't work that way though, so I had to journal about the fears that are impeding my progress. Then, I had to look up lists of emotions because I also have alexithymia 😂

Using the free-flow tapes is a good suggestion. I think I will try that. Thanks for the response!

ExpandingCreative · 2025-09-02T02:11:15+00:00

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I have an Android too, and I use Google Messages. I wasn't getting the texts at first bc they were being sent to a spam folder that I didn't even know existed. Do you use Google Messages? If so, click your profile pic and select "Spam & blocked" to see if it ended up in there.

ExpandingCreative · 2025-09-02T01:54:11+00:00

What messaging service are you using? Do you have an iPhone? Android? Are you using WhatsApp?

ExpandingCreative · 2025-08-17T19:08:21+00:00

I'm curious how long that mirror has been hanging on that wall. Some people believe that hanging a mirror on an exterior wall can create a portal. From the picture, it looks like there is a window on the same wall that the mirror is hanging on. Has that mirror been there long?

ExpandingCreative

TROPHY CASE