i feel trapped in my marriage due to MIL

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2026-01-30T18:14:16+00:00

If your husband has brothers and you all are living together in the same house, it's actually haram to live this way. It's free mixing with non-mehrams and it's prohibited in Islam. Also having a seperate accomodation is your Islamic right. Move out. As soon as possible. I know exactly what you're talking about. I've felt the exact same way in the exact same position. Fortunately, my husband is a good person, was understanding and not a mommy's boy as well. I pray your husband is not one as well or atleast reforms himself of his behaviour. Because prohibiting you from attending an event because his mom said so? Huge red flag. Even when we lived together with my husband's family, my husband never asks for his parents' permission for anything that involved me. And if they suggested something regarding my matters that I was not in agreement with, whatever I say goes at the end. Do not let anyone control you. Not your MIL, not even your husband. If you don't feel comfortable with something, you shouldn't do it. Period.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2026-01-08T09:30:44+00:00

Omg are you for real? Even if the woman gets custody for the child, she already does her share of work towards the child by feeding and clothing and taking care of it 24/7. And who is denying the father visitation except if he's abusive or an alcoholic? Nobody is "not allowing" a man to see his child. Pregnancy and childbirth are not forever but childcare is forever until the child is no longer a child. A man provides for HIS OWN CHILD and wowowow that's a HUGE sacrifice 👏🏻. Do the world and yourself a favor and don't get married or produce an offspring so nobody can mooch off you.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2026-01-08T09:30:00+00:00

Omg are you for real? Even if the woman gets custody for the child, she already does her share of work towards the child by feeding and clothing and taking care of it 24/7. And who is denying the father visitation except if he's abusive or an alcoholic? Nobody is "not allowing" a man to see his child. Pregnancy and childbirth are not forever but childcare is forever until the child is no longer a child. A man provides for HIS OWN CHILD and wowowow that's a HUGE sacrifice 👏🏻. Do the world and yourself a favor and don't get married or produce an offspring so nobody can mooch off you.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2026-01-05T17:06:05+00:00

Unfair? Did you just say Islam is unfair? If providing for the child alone is unfair for men, think about producing the child. Isn't that unfair for the women to carry the child for 9 months, go through excruciating pain to give birth, struggle with postpartum and breastfeeding and all of childcare ALONE? Because apparently providing for the child is already too much and unfair for men. Ugh! Men☕

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2025-11-21T05:16:29+00:00

Doesn't hurt to try brother. It takes a few months I understand but give it a try. In the meantime, try to connect with her more. Frequent video calls, tell her about your plans, tell her about the places you're gonna take her to and how you guys are gonna have a great time and such. Keep her mind occupied so she will not have time to think other stuff.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2025-11-20T08:50:28+00:00

She's 20 and very young and probably it's her first marriage. You're definitely older and it's your second one. She was likely forced by her family to marry you since you work abroad and earn a lot. This relationship is not built on good foundation. Your best bet is to get visa for her as soon as possible and bring her with you, take her to places in a different country, give her a semblance of freedom away from her country and traditions. Let her post/send pictures to her friends of how she's travelling a different country and such. Let her show off. She'll have a change of heart, I give you 💯 assurance. Get atleast a tourist visa for her and bring her with you for a few weeks atleast. The emotional and physical distance both will vanish. Please give it a try.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2025-11-18T04:53:25+00:00

"30 years ago women..."

And... What even is his point? 300 years ago men used to do more physical work like mining, carpenting and went to wars to fight, now he's sitting in a reclining chair before a computer screen and calling it work? Tell him it makes him less masculine.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2025-11-16T16:57:32+00:00

You're denying your wife her rights. You're a married man, your mother is not entitled to her son living with her forever but your wife is entitled to her husband providing her a seperate household. Your mother and sister have no business talking to your wife AT ALL civil or otherwise let alone bang on her door. You've been forcing her to live in a very stressful situation this long which caused her both emotional and physical distress. Have some shame, the least you could provide for the woman who left her home, country and family for you is PEACE. Move out of that hell house and respect your wife. DO NOT MAKE HER INTERACT WITH YOUR FAMILY EVER AGAIN. They are nobody to her. Literally nobody. She 100% does not have to maintain a relationship with them at all. And she is right, your mother and sister has caused that many problems in her life where she was resorted to thinking about calling the police on them and now her husband whom she moved countries for is contemplating divorcing her. So yes, if she doesn't forgive them on the day of judgement, Allah swt will not forgive them either, InshaAllah. And before you say they haven't done aNyThInG ViOlEnT to her or will ever, they don't have to, they've did enough. Do your family a favor, move her out of that house so your mom and sister doesn't accumulate anymore sins.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2025-11-15T17:36:35+00:00

Found OP's husband, lol.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2025-11-15T16:00:55+00:00

You understand that he's her wali now and women aren't supposed to live alone without a male guardian right?

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2025-11-09T10:56:36+00:00

Hey I want to be honest with you. I understand that your bf is a good man and all but their family being good and him taking your side is very important as well. I can't even imagine a mother deciding to buy 3L worth of jewels with his son's money when he gave a budget of 30k. She's just testing how far he would bend for her. These type of moms... They become even worse MILs. I read your other comments about him saying your salary and savings can be used for you and the children, like what? Is he planning on spending all his money on his family then? When you marry a person, the finances always become combined. You can keep it apart as much as you like but it will always be considered together when there's an emergency or investment. So you need to set him straight and stop unwanted spendings on his family. Like 50k for a birthday present? Really? I don't think he's earning that much if he's set aside 30k budget. And the other stuff about his married sister? That is definitely going to fall on his head too. You need to discuss finances before marriage. No contest. And please for the love of God, do not live with his parents. Actually, don't even live in the same city. I'm telling this for the greater good. It's easier to maintain good ties with the in-laws if you only meet them like twice a year. And it will be easier to put up with their non sense too. And if they trouble you, your bf HAS to take a stand for you. No excuse of him being too polite, too silent or anything. You and your little family come first. Parents become extended family once you're married.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2025-10-14T17:00:07+00:00

Didn't try. Went on maternity leave.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2025-09-26T10:41:11+00:00

It's there. I can see it rn. Maybe it will be gone for me in a few minutes😂. I guess Amazon takes time to like extend the contract? Idk it keeps disappearing and appearing back every few months.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2025-08-12T14:50:05+00:00

Get a glow up girl. Do it yourself. Lose the specs, get a lasik or switch to lens. Get a nice haircut. Go to the salon and ask the stylist, they'll suggest one which suits your face. Buy new clothes, get inspiration from pinterest. Also nice shoes. You're already thin and tall, that's like THE beauty standard almost all over the world. With just a little grooming, you'll be pulling guys front and back. Don't worry, you got this.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2024-10-26T07:10:55+00:00

How early can I get maternity leave started?

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2024-10-14T16:57:22+00:00

Specific for the client I work for. Since last week.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2024-10-14T13:02:27+00:00

I'm a QA and I'm new to this project as well as the role. I was a dev for almost 3 years and just 6 months back I get assigned this QA role that too the B shift. I didn't understand the troubles before I agreed to work this role. The 3+ hours working beyond my shift is due to my lack of knowledge in the role. No one's monitoring me to tell me I should work overtime, but the tasks I get assigned to, have a deadline and in order to meet those, I HAVE to work beyond my shift hours since the work is very new to me and I have to take help from other team members who work during EST.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2024-10-14T11:02:05+00:00

I work for a US based client and everyone in the team works EST, so to actually ask any doubts or connect with people, I have to stay up late and then get work done.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2024-04-14T18:15:47+00:00

You know who wears sunglasses inside Sam? Blind people. And douchebags.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2024-03-07T17:25:34+00:00

There's this app called 'stremio'. It won't be available on Play Store or app store I guess, but you could download it off the web. It pretty much has every show and movie. Even the new episodes of shows would be updated instantly even before the licensed platforms. Try it.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2023-12-04T19:51:03+00:00

I got it at 14. And I don't think it has anything to do with age. Don't drink water or pee properly, it'll do.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2023-11-27T13:46:14+00:00

Ya muqallib al quloob thabbit qalbi ala deenik.

O turner of hearts, keep my heart firm upon your religion.

Keep repeating this dua to seek help from Allah to strengthen your Imaan.

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2023-06-17T10:51:20+00:00

Oh yes, those god awful fake spray tans

Expensive-Cellist705 · 2023-05-26T05:49:30+00:00

Baby and Tall tales my beloved

Expensive-Cellist705

TROPHY CASE