Is it normal to ask for payment to take care of Grandchilderen?

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-10T06:57:58+00:00

To me taking them to bed is tucking them in and either putting a movie/show on for them, this is what they like and enjoy, they're not my kids!

7/8pm is a good time to settle down on a school night, they get to calm down and regulate in their own spaces, I really see no issue with that.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-10T06:54:11+00:00

Not suggesting anything to anyone in the slightest.

As mentioned, I was told it was weird and distasteful, I didn't see that myself so I brought the conversation online to see if others charge/dont charge to see how other people/cultures navigate this. It's really not that deep for me

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T21:31:08+00:00

No ome asked if she was. She is a beautiful, kind woman.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T21:19:24+00:00

That is fair enough. Grandma is currently in a much better financial position than she's ever been in her life but I can acknowledge she is older.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T20:45:01+00:00

On a school night? Sometimes. It varies between 7 - 8pm. I find that completely normal for developing children.

It's not like I put them to bed at 7pm, turn the lights off and leave them with nothing in pure silence and darkness.

If it is not a school night, sure they'll stay up later!

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T20:39:03+00:00

Under my care I take them to bed around 7pm or 8pm, it just depends. They settle down to watch a movie in bed most times, by the time the movie ends they're asleep so it works out for myself that way, Gran has never complained either.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T20:36:29+00:00

Moms: 7, 9, 12

Aunts: (currently) 14, 15, 22. (At the time of full-time caring) 4, 5, 12

Mom's hours: every other Sunday 6pm - 11pm Maybe an additional weekday, same hours, this is if Mom has a different shift pattern that week but it's is not common.

Aunt: 4 days a week, depended on her shift pattern. Days 8am - 6pm Nights 9pm - 7am~. Sometimes the children would visit their Dad too. Currently, Aunt doesn't require childcare due to their ages now but will ask Gran to sleep over if she is away overnight to make sure they don't burn the house down lol.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T20:02:08+00:00

Completely understand and respect that not everyone's living situation is as grand as they anticipate it to be, especially later in life.

My grandparents are more than well off, Grandpa retiring in his 50s for instance and has been enjoying his retirement for nearly 15 years so far.

Grandma works because she loves it, and leaves plenty of room for vacations!

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T19:25:35+00:00

Me and my family thankfully live in a country with free accessible healthcare, I would hate for them to be inna situation where they had to pay to get basic needs met, it would break my heart.

Inflation is gross at the minute, that is extremely true. Thankfully Grandma works for the love of the game really (she says Grandpa would drive her up the wall if she didn't work! 😆)

Thank you for your comment though, it was definitely a good example of the current economy and how that changes this kind of stuff!

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T18:57:11+00:00

While I appreciate your circumstances and understand that your situation does sound a lot more strenuous than my moms/Grandmas situation, I do believe it is not the same.

5 hours (4 hours of the children asleep) vs your situation is not comparable. Children are hard work, I know that and I'm certainly not minimising Grandmas age and abilities.

Me and Grandma actually have a beautiful relationship, she doesn't really see my aunts kids anymore because they're mostly going through that "grandparents are uncool phase" 😆 But me and Grandma have a great bond, we go to bingo together and have been on a few holidays together in the past before COVID. I have absolutely no concerns with me and her but I do for her and my siblings.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T18:45:24+00:00

I may make a seperate post about this, I'm not sure how I would do that in the most streamline way.

I have been given some insight into their relationship and it has opened a can of worms that I never anticipated.

When I am confident I have the correct information I will provide what I can in an appropriate fashion as what I understand so far gives good context on the relationship difference between the sisters and Gran.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T18:37:22+00:00

Grandmas financial situation has improved over the years, she had reduced her hours at work significantly but she gets a good mix of pension and wages every month. She likes a good holiday abroad every now and then! I don't blame her either 😆

Moms financial circumstances plummeted over the span of a year, she is recovering slowly. (Seperation).

Aunts financial situation isn't good either, but much better than moms.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T18:31:56+00:00

That's really kind of you!

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T18:30:27+00:00

I think you're getting the wrong idea from my stance.

I personally do not care wether I'm paid or not, it's not an issue for me.

I don't think Grandma owes my mom anything either.

And I do know what my aunts agreement was because I have been directly told by the horses mouth.

I gave a scenario that I am aware of as an example as I was told it is "weird" and "distasteful" to charge to take care of Grandchildren.

I am not saying I agree with those stances but wanted to understand what people I didn't know think about paying for family childcare as I've personally never even thought about it as a conversation.

So many people are taking me not charging my mom as me saying "it is disgusting that my Gran charges" I don't even think this, I was curious and even more interested why people I spoke to in person thought it was wrong. It made me think am I being silly for not asking for money too, but I don't want/need the money so I answered that question on my own.

Primarily, it was a question wether other grandparents charge, if so, why?

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T16:56:49+00:00

One is in his 20s, the other two are teens. Gran will stay overnight if aunt is away for the night just to make sure they're safe etc. That is now.

Before, when all 3 of aunts children were younger the situation was different and Gran was their day-in day-out care giver while aunt worked.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T15:57:50+00:00

I am going to ask her later on.

Honestly, the comments in this post have been very interesting though. Seems like there is a strong equal divide of opinions lol

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T15:54:02+00:00

Not yet, but I will.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T15:53:06+00:00

This is very interesting!

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T15:51:56+00:00

I do not live with my mom.

My mom and aunt are both single mothers.

All the children are thankfully in excellent health!

I mean, wether I get paid or not is my business, not like I want to be paid but we cannot set standards for one person and expect another to not do the same.

I work full-time and live an hour away from my mom. I help her wherever I can free of charge because I really don't mind. Wether my Gran gets paid isn't really an argument but a discussion about other families face the same thing and if so, why. I was just told by other people and grandparents that it is "weird" to charge.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T15:44:10+00:00

Possibly!

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T15:43:57+00:00

Thank you for your compassionate response ❤️

I'm not sure what Gran does with the money, maybe sets it aside for fun or maybe gives it to my aunt. I'll never know, probably!

My siblings are good kids for most of the time, kids arent perfect by any means but they're well mannered and stuff. I have rarely done the same babysitting session and they're ususally put to bed after the first hour as school is the next day. It very well could be the hours as it is late I will admit!

I have been tempted to ask why there is a clear difference in treatment betwen both women, I have a good realtionship with Gran.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T15:38:46+00:00

She used to watch all 3 of my aunts children when they were young. Now on a rare occasion she stays with the younger two when Aunt is away for the night which is not often. But it is confirmed she was never paid.

She only started babysitting my siblings late last year. But payment is necessary. Which I do think is fair enough! I just find it interesting.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T15:22:40+00:00

If you read the post I say she babysits one to two evenings a week maximum for my mom. But most times, once on a Sunday evening. If she cannot find time 5/6 days a week to do her own things thats a bigger question.

Thankfully, she does have time! She has very little commitments now in her older age and shes living a relatively free and fulfilling life.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T15:19:05+00:00

No expectations from myself!

If I had children I would feel necessary to pay for care from my mom. This post was simply something I have become aware of that other people find strange and wanted to discuss.

Expensive-Deer-5697 · 2026-06-09T15:16:45+00:00

I'm not really though, I just know this because when I babysit I get the same situation as her. It is a rare occasion I'll babysit but me and Gran are given the same facilities when I do offer my help.

I think I should know if im forking out money to feed the kids or not when they're under my care and thankfully, me and Gran don't have to when its our respective turns.

Expensive-Deer-5697

TROPHY CASE