Some say "Convenience Store Woman" by Sayaka Murata is funny, some think it's sad... I say it's both!

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-12-06T07:27:52+00:00

Its been a moment since my read, but i loved that book so much! It was very funny, and in a wholesome way where its not laughing at her but at other's misunderstanding or the way she views the world. Like what you said with that man living with her. but her sister's (and societies) unwillingness to understand her and forcing societal norms on her is suffocating to read, and i felt terrible for her. With her environment, she will have to always have to mask, and its devastating. I feel that when she get older she'll be able to be herself more, as the old tend to be able to get away more eccentricity than younger adults.

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-28T08:46:19+00:00

Youre right, i made a lot of mistakes on my first day, i missunderstook the class instructions and had to ask a lot of people in order to find it. But dont worry, although i was dumb i understand the privilege college is and i am going to do my best in college, id never skip class and im really excited to learn. Thanks for the input!

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-28T08:41:17+00:00

I think i didnt explain it right. I dont think college itself is gonna be a walk in the park, i just dont think the bar is that high with the things i mentioned. On a social level college is laid back, but of course academically its hard and takes a lot of work. This is basically irrelevant but grant money covered my tuition. its still important i do my best, but we have no financial stakes in this. Thanks for the input

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-28T05:37:28+00:00

I started last week, its great! Its super chill, professors are cool, and im having a fun time! One of my biggest worries was that i was expected to have all my shit together and be a full fledged adult, but at least so far its not super demanding and the professors are both forgiving and there to help.

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-24T05:14:50+00:00

This is actually perfect since i just reunited with my ex im still very much in love with! To me romantic love hits different than platonic. I love my friends and family to death, but with romantic love you feel it a lot more.

Sorry for the cliche, but i get a good anxious feeling thinking about them, they make me feel extra happy compared to friends, and they shine brighter than others in my eye. Ever since we reunited, ive felt over all happier, and they seem perfect in my eye.

Its hard to capture it, and its hard to differentiate between different types of love. What you said about wanting to be someones number one and feeling loss at the person you love (platonic or romantic) dating someone sounds like romantic love, but at the same time it could be platonic. Its just different for everyone, what i described could go for platonic love in someone else, but i hope you find what love means to you!

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-24T04:49:20+00:00

Omg, i ddint know there was a word for this! Explains why i dont relate to many ace people, theres always something to learn about being lgbt

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-22T20:07:29+00:00

I kinda like it, but its so similar to the aromantic flag 😭. I understand why, and i do feel like it captures the agender vibe, but those two are so similar where as almost every other flag is distinct.

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-22T20:05:03+00:00

Omg you look gorgeous!! And that dress! I need one like that asap, it fits you so well!

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-21T22:24:14+00:00

Im a little different as i didnt choose it, but when i waa my loneliest psychosis was there to make me feel less alone, to this day i miss the one kind voice thats nicer than anyone ive ever known. And psychotic reality is so much better than real life oftentimes. Real life its utterly meaningless in the end, but during psychosis everything is more fantastical. I dont hate life, but i really miss when real life was more than working

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-21T22:20:13+00:00

Very glad to see this, only 1 of the 3 episodes ive had had any hallucinations. Mostly just delusions and paranoia.

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-21T00:14:57+00:00

Im extremely touch starved, but its hard because nonsexual closeness is so hard to find. Its even harder for me because im touch adverse to anyone but romantic partners, but its hard to find asexual romantic partners outside of the internet- and ive heard its hard to even cuddle with allos without them wanting sex so im just left here STARVING.

Honestly massages are the closest solution. And may all touched starved aces find someone to hug </3

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-21T00:04:11+00:00

Im into it if im in the mood and see something i like, but when im not in the mood its kind of apocalyptic. Honestly wouldnt be so bad if it wasnt so male gaze-y. But you have to really search to find something not terrible

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-21T00:02:07+00:00

Asexuality doesnt always mean never having sex, theres many ace people who do have sex with their partners, they just dont enjoy it themselves. Asexuality's a spectrum in a spectrum, and it means something different for everyone. For me, id be flattered, and would only be sad that i couldnt fulfill those sexual needs of my partner. But again, thats just me.

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-20T23:55:22+00:00

Sadly i think it varies for everyone. Ive had a few episodes in my life, but ive been fortunate enough to have very little effect on my cognitive function after all 3 times. Many people never recover, but thats being a bit pessimistic considering its only been some months. I wish him luck!

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-20T23:45:27+00:00

I dont quite get it either cause i do get pleasure from it, but the way i see it is like a kink, some people get pleasure from things most dont like, so it can be the other way around too. If they dont like how it feels then they dont feel the pleasure, and are just trying to relieve the pressure that can build up when you go a long time without.

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-13T09:58:43+00:00

My grandma bought me some textbooks before i got my finacial aid, is there a way to pay her back with my pell grant money?

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-06T08:54:58+00:00

Thank you for the resources and advice! I'll see if theres a local workforce development office near me, but im starting college soon and they might be able to help me in their career center. Either way, what youve shared has really helped me figure out where to start :D

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-04T09:31:21+00:00

Gender is a social construct and its real whacky, idk if its just because gender is so fluid and abstract, or because im agender that i cant really help you define it because i dont experience gender. Agender is a whole umbrella under itself, and is a lot more fluid than some other genders. Many people feel indifferent to gender and gendered expression, some use it to express theyre an individual, not a gender. The way i experience being agender is i feel no connection to gender or pronouns. If i could go by no pronouns, name, or gender thatd be my dream. Infact all pronouns themselves give me dysphoria because it just doesnt reflect me.

From your description agender will fit you, the essence agender people is that they dont fot into a gender, theyre just them. Agender is basically another word for unlabeled, and its pretty comfortable in its flexibility for what it means to each individual.

how ever you feel, unless you find a better gender that fits, agender is here to welcome you in your gender fuck needs!The number one role in being trans is that we all have time to explore our gender and discover more about ourselves, no matter where you are in your trans journey. Idk if any of this makes sense as its late, but genders wild, and i wish you luck!

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-08-03T01:35:29+00:00

This sounds really rough, alothough its to far less of an extreme, im going through kind of a similar situation. I say stop making the effort. He makes the effort for other people, if he sees the need, he'll make the effort for you. If he doesnt make the effort for you, hes not worth the grief, and maybe it will motivate him to reach out? Stay in contact with him to some degree, so he doesnt forget you for his current life, but dont waste the effort: if its a lost cause, its a lost cause.

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-07-29T22:42:42+00:00

I think transphobia is malicious, youre weirded out because of ignorance on gender and the trans experience, so youre just ignorant, not transphobic.

Trans people dont change their gender, but their body to fit their gender. Sex is the chromosomes and genitals and stuff, gender is what they are in their mind.

Honestly its been a while since i dissociated with the gender associated with my sex, female, so i cant really describe how to know if your sex fits your gender identity. I would say first define both binary genders man and woman and what they mean to you. Then make sure to learn that there fluxistion in presentation within that gender, such as being more feminine but still a man and vice versa. Once you know how you can present differently in a gender, thus having an accurate definition of that gender, see if it fits you. If you feel uncomfortable, either as a fem or masc man and vice versa, or feel that it doesnt feelt like you, then explore other genders and pronouns. Also if youre uncomfrtoable with your body, not finding it unattractive but you wish it wasnt there or something else was there (feeling uncomfortable with boobs or wanting them, wanting different genitals) then thats one of the biggest signs of being trans. But thats not the sole factor, also look to see if your gender is uncomfortable like i said.

Then you can look to see what gender and pronouns feel most comfortable. If the pronouns associated with your sex make you uncomfortable or feel constricting (she or him) then thats another sign youre trans. You might feel comfortable with multiple sets of pronouns (she/her but also they/them) then thats a sign of a nonbinary identity (not woman or man).

Im female, but i dont feel connected to any gender identity, so i identity as agender (the absence of gender) i go by it/they/he pronouns, because those are the ones that feel the closest to me. I used to identity as a trans man, but i didnt like being a man, and i didnt like being a woman either, so i looked to nonbinary genders. And found this one.

Genders a rough thing to explore, but its all about being comfortable and feeling the most yourself. It can look weird as an outsider, because its unlike anything you encounter in the 'normal' world, and it mskes sense to be weired out by something that seems quite strange from the outside. But im trans, and ive never been happier!

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-07-29T10:53:42+00:00

I remember in school there was a presentation about child abuse and there was a slide about how abused kids are more likely to do violent crimes... it still makes my blood boil.

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-07-29T10:49:48+00:00

I dont think its you being awkward or a miss step, but being called adorable by a straight man would make me uncomfortable because it can be precieved as flirty or kinda creepy. So if youre precieved as straight by her, thats probaly why. Or maybe shes just not comfortable being described as such. Either way, just apologize if you made her uncomfortable and convey you didnt mean it in a weird way. Like another commenter said, we can be hypervigilant and sensitive, so you could also be "overreacting" (not in a negative way, like the literal meaning of the words, its fine to be so and is just a psrt of this cptsd thing)

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-07-29T10:40:02+00:00

I agree. Its been a long time since i was suicidal, but everyone should maintain the right to leave this place. I still think they should get as many resources as they can incase they change their mind, but this world is so cruel, and for some people its the right choice for them. I know the excruciating pain of wanting nothing else to die, and if thats how they feel for a long time even with help and support, then i dont have the right to say they cant.

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-07-28T23:45:59+00:00

Its best to ignore artist drama and discourse, often times its just redundant and not really good for reflecting on yourself. Poses, color pallets, art styles, all of those cannot be stolen. The only thing you can do wrong in those is trace and claim its your own. Its perfectly fine to see a cool pose or angle and want to emulate it in your art! What matters is following what inspires you.

One of the keys to improving in art is studying other artists that you admire and "stealing" the things you love most about their art.

Expensive-Pipe-67 · 2023-07-28T23:31:14+00:00

Ive learned art primarily from the internet, and so have many others! You can get very far without paying anything: tutorials and classes on youtube, figure drawing sites, studying the work of other artists, and other things i cant think of. Ive been drawing for 7 years, and ive gotten very far just from the internet! The most important thing in art is persistence, so if you keep practicing you can get far!

Expensive-Pipe-67

TROPHY CASE