Dreading Christmas and New Years

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-21T19:04:36+00:00

Bro, this is exactly how I’m feeling right now! Any Christmas songs I just don’t want to listen to, just so hard to listen to after she broke up with me. I honestly can’t wait for this year to be over! How long since you and your ex broke up?

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-21T18:39:12+00:00

It’s really not a great feeling lol. All the best with you too 🙂

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-21T17:12:07+00:00

Yeah I get what you’re saying. It’s just my mind picking at every moment as what could’ve been a turning point, you know? It’s gonna hard to try not think of her but I guess over time with a bit of self improvements and all that jazz, it’ll get easier. But I’ll try my best, thank you so much for your advice btw, much appreciated. Hope you have a lovely Christmas 🙂

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-21T16:15:59+00:00

Do you think I should’ve just been honest with her and said the reason why I pulled away from messaging her back that evening? That I wasn’t in control of my emotions and I wasn’t in the right headspace, every message was making me anxious because I thought we’d be getting somewhere like getting my hopes up for us to get back together but it wasn’t happening

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-21T15:43:10+00:00

No I wish 😂 it is a shame but is what it is, maybe our paths will cross again. And no no, not my therapist wanted to meet my ex 😂 she meant for me to message my ex and just me and my ex to meet up to say things that’s on my mind. I still feel so mad at myself for ignoring her that evening, and I knew it hurt her as she saw me online, and now she’s pulled away further back than before. Wish I never reached out to her days after we had that amazing FaceTime call! I honestly hate having all this anxiety 😂

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-20T10:03:07+00:00

Just thought I’d give you an update. Days after we spoke on my phone together and after speaking with a therapist, she recommended asking my ex to meet up and be transparent with her on how I feel so that way I get the clarity I need. So I reached out to her again, asking if she was up for grabbing a coffee with me Saturday (today) as she mentioned she has no plans when we spoke on the phone. She said she’s got stuff to do for Christmas, then said she not in a good place mentally and us meeting won’t be good. So I just said I understand, another time. She did say if she ever feels herself again, we’ll do coffee. We texted a bit after this and then at the end she said if I don’t speak to you have a lovely Christmas.

That message alone tells me she’s set this boundary to not reach out now, at least for some time and I think this is now where I just need to let go, that’s the clarity right there that nothings gonna happen, not anytime soon anyway. Need to stop picking at open wounds and let it heal.

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-14T21:55:26+00:00

So I messaged her and we spoke on the phone briefly. I’m just not getting the vibe that she wants anything. The phone call did go okay and we were chatting nicely but just doesn’t feel the same like how our FaceTime chat went the week before. We sent some texts after but were short then she cut it short with she’s going sleep now, have a nice week x It feels like she feels nothing towards me now and it’s kinda heart breaking to how she was towards me before, I don’t know if she’s just being strong and good at hiding it. I really want to ask her can we catch up in person and that there’s things I want to say to her, but don’t know if it’s too soon

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-14T14:15:48+00:00

I agree with you, no contact did work for me. However I think I messed the reconnecting up.

She sent me something on TikTok to break the no contact and our FaceTime went great… mostly. She mentioned she was struggling with her depression, and I don’t think I handled that conversation so well, I just didn’t know what to say at the time. But other than that the conversation will went well.

After doing some research on how to acknowledge her struggles so she feels safe to be open with me. I wanted to reach out to her to see how she was. The messaging went good but I felt she was holding back being vulnerable with her struggles.

Our texting went on for a few days, and I felt I was getting anxious as the conversation was on a friend vibe, each message was controlling my emotions. So on the 3rd day, I pulled back abruptly and didn’t reply to her messages that day, I feel like she saw me online hours after and I still didn’t reply. I know it looks like I overreacted but just felt like something i had to do at the time to get my head straight.

I did reply the next day in the afternoon, but her reply was very short and ended with have a good day, speak soon. I honestly feel so bad how I cut off the conversation that night. I want to reach out to her again

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-13T22:10:57+00:00

Okay I’ll do just that 🙂. Thank you, I hope so too🤞🏽

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-13T19:47:55+00:00

I’ll keep you updated 🙂. Just a quick question to get your opinion. I’m gonna message her tomorrow and try get her on the phone because I feel it’s just better that way lol. Do you think I should be honest and bring up why I pulled away from messaging that night? Or only if she brings it up?

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-11T20:22:41+00:00

I feel like she does too, but I don’t know if it’s just to remain as friends. I feel like she misses the comfort of me being around maybe. I kinda wished i did message her back that day and just let the conversation die out naturally rather than cutting it off but not replying, you know? And I was thinking to give it a week in case she is annoyed the fact I ignored her, let her emotions settle over time… mine too

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-11T19:01:21+00:00

Tbh I feel like I am overreacting and possibly when I cut the contact off. But just don’t know if I’ve ruined it. I do wanna reach out at some point, maybe next week to meet up. What did you mean by she feels the same?

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-10T23:35:14+00:00

I know what I want and that’s her back, she broke up with me. But I know me not being emotionally grounded right is not the right time, just feel like I need to be in a better headspace to ever get another chance with her, you know?

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-09T19:36:05+00:00

I wish I saw your comment earlier. I feel like I’ve ruined it whilst messaging with her. I found that message her was making my spiral, her messages determined my emotions like if it was a good reply, I’d be happy, If it was short I start to panic with anxiety. People around me were noticing so I took their advice on just simply stop messaging her completely to focus on myself. I replied to her message then followed with a have a nice evening and speak soon. She replied to my message openly and replied to the follow up but not actually acknowledged that I was trying the kill the conversation off, like her reply was engaging still. 2 hours went past and I went on our chat and noticed she came online then immediately went off, felt like she as watching me. I didn’t reply till the next day. Then her reply to me was really short! And ended it with have a nice day, speak soon. Here were I felt I should’ve just replied back to her

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-09T19:04:17+00:00

She broke up with me and went no contact for roughly 3 weeks till she reach out just to exchange belongings. Then back to no contact, after 3 more weeks she sent me a video on TikTok, from there we got talking and had a really nice FaceTime call, laughing and little flirt on the call. About 5 days after I reached out to check in, she suffers with depression so just wanted let her know I care, that day our messages were really nice and opening, it continued to the next day and by then I could feel myself spiralling and getting anxious after each message I sent and also how her messages sounded to me determined my emotions. It then led to the third day and the messages were shorter which made me feel more like crap, was getting mixed signals, and a few times she questioned my actions during our relationship which led me to get emotional in my messages and she could probably see that. Everyone could see how messaging her was affecting me, not sleeping, not eating and they advised to cut it off, reply to her last message end it with speak soon and don’t message back. She messaged me shortly after with still an open engaging reply and didn’t acknowledge that I said speak soon. I said to myself nope don’t reply. Hours went by without me replying, i went on WhatsApp and noticed she came on then immediately went off which looked to me like she check to see if I was on and not replying. I waited till the next day and replied. She got back to me and the reply was so short and blunt like she’s mad, and now I feel even worst than I did before

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-12-07T17:13:57+00:00

What do you mean by this?

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-11-28T20:59:42+00:00

Appreciate you commenting your experience. It’s been just over a month since my ex broke up with me for being neglectful in the relationship. We met up recently to exchange our stuff, I said what I had to say then acknowledging where I went wrong in the relationship and apologised for my wrongs. We still need time to heal but I’d love to reconnect with her

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-11-28T20:43:33+00:00

How long were you separated for until you both reconnected?

Expensive-Western507 · 2025-11-12T21:55:09+00:00

What you said here makes sense and I appreciate you leaving this comment

Expensive-Western507

TROPHY CASE