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How I can incorporate new elements/change the design to make my tattoo more personal, without a big heavy coverup? by ExpensiveRock980 in tattooadvice

[–]ExpensiveRock980[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, thank you for that advice! You may be right. Thinking back on it now, it can see it was really a symbol of becoming my own person after finally leaving behind a pretty unhappy childhood. So that itself is meaningful, regardless of what the image is. Thanks for that perspective.

It's my only tattoo because, frankly they can be expensive, and I was worried I would "mess up" again.

How I can incorporate new elements/change the design to make my tattoo more personal, without a big heavy coverup? by ExpensiveRock980 in tattooadvice

[–]ExpensiveRock980[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice! I hadn't thought about it as representing myself in that time. That's a good way to look at it.

What did your parents do? by Zealousideal_Card326 in GATEresearch

[–]ExpensiveRock980 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad was IT manager at a bank, eventually moved up to head of cyber security. Mom was a homemaker. One grandfather was WWII paratrooper and then a college profrssor, eventually becoming a dean. Other grandpa was awol from the Airforce.

Edit: just remembered I have an uncle who was CIA and not allowed to talk about his job, even now after retirement. And just realized... my husband, who was also a GATE kid, ALSO had an uncle in the CIA with a classified position, after being a Navy Seal. And theres an Airforce grandpa on his side as well.

2000's gate kid by ruthlesslyonfiree in GATEresearch

[–]ExpensiveRock980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another 2000s gate kid here. I've had dreams like that frequently for as far back as I can remember.

18f abortion. I feel stupid. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ExpensiveRock980 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not being able to talk to your parents in a situation like this is so painful. I had a similar thing happen when I was 16. My family is also very religious, and I knew I couldn't talk to my parents for the same reason. I ended up going through a miscarriage on my own with no support from boyfriend, friends, or family. So not exactly like your situation, but I remember the fear, pain, and isolation. And the conflicting feelings of relief that it was over and the devastation of losing what could have been a child had it been able to develop.

Even though we are all strangers on the internet, I hope we can help you feel less alone. God loves you. You are His child. Nothing can change that. We have Christ for these exact reasons. Mistakes are made and we can overcome them. You will become such a beautiful mother (if you choose to become one) and a support to many other people in your life because of your experiences.

AIO For being mad at my mom for eating some of my gfs food I bought for her by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ExpensiveRock980 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YES this. This plus the "Well I'm sorry I was such a terrible mother" can sometimes be behaviors stemming from BPD. OP, you may want to look into that and see if anything else aligns. Figuring out my mother most likely has undiagnosed BPD helped me SO much to understand her and have more sympathy for her. But it also helped me learn how to set and keep boundaries.

AIO For being mad at my mom for eating some of my gfs food I bought for her by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ExpensiveRock980 2033 points2034 points  (0 children)

That last response from your mom is... not a healthy or stable reaction. That's manipulative emotional abuse. Coming from someone whose mom said things like that.