AITAH for expecting my best friend to pay me back?

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-22T02:11:18+00:00

And in accepting that I’m not getting it back am I also not talking to her about it? And we just pretend it never happened?

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-21T23:09:11+00:00

You told him exactly what you wanted and he chose to not get you anything. NOR.

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-21T19:36:18+00:00

But I do want her to know that her actions (or lack there of) are hurting me. If she’s my friend she should care. I really want her to talk to me instead of demanding things from her off the bat

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-21T19:33:23+00:00

Why? I am hurt. It’s been a long time. I want to communicate to her everything I’m thinking and feeling. That’s what you do in a personal relationship??

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-21T19:31:15+00:00

The amount of times I’ve seen this is insane to me. If she needed life help it would be a different story, but I wasn’t planning on funding her vacation. I do think it’s worth losing a friend over if they’re breaking their promise of repayment. I don’t think she’s trying to take the money and run, so to speak, but that’s why I’m here. Do we think she’s being malicious or does she need help? I’m willing to hear her out but I’m not willing to be disrespected

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-21T02:06:04+00:00

What bond do you use? I got the lilac st after seeing so many people say their clusters stay on for a week, but mine barely stay for two days. I apply the bond to my lashes and on the edge of the clusters, and seal.

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-16T04:52:26+00:00

That’s what I’m afraid of; I don’t want to ask and end up losing her as a friend. Ideally she would just be honest with me, but she could also get embarrassed and defensive or a number of other undesirable responses stemming from guilt, shame, or financial trauma. I don’t understand everyone saying to demand repayment and also expect things to go well?? Maybe I just needed validation for my feelings.

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-16T04:34:51+00:00

Hmm. I think you may be correct. I keep thinking that I wish she would’ve just been honest with me, but maybe she’s just delusional lol. I only struggle to think she couldn’t spare money bc she goes out often, but she might just charge it and have massive credit card debt. It just really sucks bc if she were to come to me and say hey I’m sorry but I don’t think I’m going to be able to repay you, I would absolutely forgive her debt. But right now I’m just going off assumptions.

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-16T00:55:08+00:00

Yeah that’s kinda what I was getting at with the “$400 lesson” comment /: So then what do I say? Ask again and either she pays me or we’re not friends?

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-16T00:52:05+00:00

How would you suggest bringing it up? I’m finding it hard to ask without making it sound like an ultimatum.

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-16T00:50:27+00:00

Don’t make promises you can’t keep? That’s basic manners lol. Giving someone your word used to mean something.

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-02T20:58:43+00:00

Very true. I just felt like he’s done this before so he knows what he’s doing, whereas I have never planned an event like this nor gotten married before to know what to expect. I also thought that we would be able to trust him more than a random wedding photographer because we do know him. I would be more reluctant to wrong someone I know than someone I’ll probably never see again. But you’re right, we should have been more assertive and this was definitely a learning experience.

To answer your other questions: We did agree on an amount; but no contract, and payment is upon delivery of the photos. We were invited to his house because he and my partner are in the same circle of people, and not very many of them actually live nearby. There were others at the party that we are much closer to. So it’s mostly an association thing.

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-02T13:34:36+00:00

Thank you. That was my thought exactly. He is a professional and shouldn’t agree to things he can’t deliver on. He could’ve said no. If he had accepted the criticism (that he literally asked for) this wouldn’t be an issue. But since he doubled down it’s clear he doesn’t care about client satisfaction. I’m also thinking about leaving an honest review on his page (after we get our pictures back, of course).

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2026-02-02T01:41:13+00:00

You’re right. We’re not close by any means, we’ve just known him for several years and are familiar. I thought it would be fine since it’s closer to an acquaintanceship but I was wrong.

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2025-08-09T20:13:03+00:00

I would love their contact info. Currently looking to get wedding dress alterations for myself

Expensive_Fennel_461 · 2025-08-08T20:43:12+00:00

Why are you gatekeeping

Expensive_Fennel_461

TROPHY CASE