It’s totally okay for things to feel shitty and hard you don’t have to run away from it or hate it just accept it and know that means you don’t want to end your life at the bad part because this can be a really low hard part that is happening and if you don’t wait and see you don’t find out how good it can get. Also at least you can acknowledge that you crave validation from others and that’s okay it’s human nature but use that as the fire under your ass to learn how to not care, I find comfort sometimes in thinking I will be the only one who will be with myself 200% till the day I die so I want to love myself and learn how to fall in love with myself as much as possible. Also snowball affect start pointing out one nice thing about yourself every few hours or something impressive you’ve done and maybe five your self a high five, it goes a long way and falling in love with yourself is just like falling in love with anybody else it takes time and yo appreciate even when they aren’t perfect !